AIBU to refuse the camp bed after hand surgery?

[NotAgainAbby]

I’m going into hospital tomorrow for reconstructive surgery on my hand, meaning it’ll be unusable for a couple weeks at least, certainly in a sling for the first few days anyway. The hospital is 90 miles away and I need to be there early, so DH and I had decided to stay nearer there tonight, and his brother and wife are going to stay at our house to watch DC6 and take him to school in the morning. They haven’t babysat before as we aren’t particularly close and not had a need for a sitter.
DH say they need to have our bed which I have prepared all fresh and clean, and that I should have the inflatable camp bed I’d set up for them in our home office, and to use that for a week or two myself so he won’t disturb me in the night (he snores, and DC gets in our bed often, and he does sometimes have a bad back).
I’ve just tried it and it’s so low to the ground I can’t easily get up with both hands let alone with one arm. It’s also a walk to the bathroom whereas our room has an ensuite (and my period has started today). He’s taken them to the pub for a quick drink. Am I right to tell him no, i’m having our bed to recover and he can have the camp bed, even after they’ve gone?
Ive never had surgery before and he says I’m being dramatic about it all.

You absolutely should have the bed. You need decent sleep for recovery.

I mean they are doing you a favour with the school run and an inflatable camp bed isn’t going to be comfortable. However, the obvious solution is that they sleep in the bed and DH remakes it tomorrow- surely you have more than 1 bedding set and DH can make a bed??

I can’t decide whether your DH is unreasonble or a selfish, callous, entitled arsehole

You’re recuperating from surgery — of course you have the bed.

Why can't they have the bed? And he definitely needs to have it. And tell DC not to go into your bedroom as you're poorly.

Also why were you making the bed up anyway? Why isn't he rushing round after you anyway?

Yes, have the bed. I broke my wrist a couple of years ago, and still shared a (king size) bed with dh. I rested my wrist on pillows. The person who has the Op always takes priority!

This has to be a joke?

Your DH is a selfish prick and you should have the bed.

You offer your guests your bed while you are away.

DH then changes the bedding when you return. You have the bed upon return as good sleep is vital for a quicker recovery. Especially if you are having a general.

Your DH can sleep on the camp bed, sofa, in your dc’s bedroom etc for the first few nights at least.

He can’t expect you to sleep on a camp bed after you’ve had surgery. You take priority. He needs to pull his weight and get bedding changed so you can sleep in bed.

dh broke his foot and we tried sleeping in the same bed when he got home from the hospital but I was worried I’d hurt him . I slept on the floor for a few nights. The floor, no camp bed, his recovery was priority!

Your husband’s brother and your SIL should have the bed tonight, and then your DH should make it up with fresh bedding for you.

I don't think it's OK for you to sleep on the camp bed, but it's also not OK to put your guests who are doing you a massive favour on a camp bed. Can DS6 not take the camp bed, and you sleep on his bed? If that's not a possibility, then you need to pay for a hotel for either yourself or your ILs.

Actually, your DH should move into your DC’s room temporarily so that he can deal with any night wakings as he is prone to coming in to your room.

He’s a peach. When I had surgery my DH slept on the sofa for a week to give my space to recover! I can’t imagine him suggesting that I should have taken the sofa!

Why can’t he sleep on the camp bed? I also don’t understand what it is to do with BIL and his wife either, they will leave when you come home presumably so he just can change the bedding?

And it’s one night, I don’t think OP needs to be putting people up in hotels! I’d be happy with an inflatable bed for one night. I feel weird sleeping in other people’s main beds though in their rooms!

How on earth are you going to get out of a camp bed after hand surgery? Your DH must be either stupid or insanely selfish.

Unless you're going to drip feed that you need reconstructive surgery on your hand because you damaged it punching your 'D'H for being a selfish arsehole, then you absolutely need the bed and not the camp bed!

You sleep in the bed.
Who can sleep on a airbed for 2 weeks let alone a night.

We don’t actually have a second set of bedding yet (we bought king size to replace double last month). DH can’t fit in DC’s bed (it’s a small single built to fit alcove in his room) but he could sleep on the floor in there. In laws are staying the night to watch DC and they will go home after the school run (they live 20 mins away and work PT so have the day off).
I truly don’t think DH has a clue how I could be feeling after the operation. He thinks I’m massively overreacting about it all.

Honestly, my dss bf fussed over her more when she fell and scraped her knee. Yanbu.

In that case relatives will have to suck up the camp bed. At least it’s just for one night. Then obviously yes you go home to your bed. No one should be on airbed/camp for more than the odd night. So for that reason I’d get earplugs if DH’s snoring is an issue because I wouldn’t be expecting him to spend weeks on it either. But if you must sleep apart obviously the person that’s had the surgery (you) gets the bed. And get a second set of sheets! Especially if you have a child coming into your bed regularly because what if they’re sick or have an accident?

You need the bed and lots of tlc.

Your husband would rather put you out of your own bed post op.

Tell him to fuck off. What a stupid suggestion.

What on earth am I reading?!

Get a second set of bedding now, so that after the op, DH can put fresh sheets on the bed for you. You have your own bed, with easy access to en-suite. DH can sleep on camp bed in DS's room or in the spare room.

Is he usually this much of an arsehole?! How was he after DC was born? Has he ever had surgery?

It's not even just about physical limitations. I recently had surgery and I felt dreadful for about 7 days afterwards from the anaesthesia/sedation. You need to be in your own bed to recover.

I’ve had hand surgery. I was supposed to keep my hand elevated at all times for the first several days. I was also laying im bed during that time. I had a full nest built up. A camp bed would not have worked at all. I was in pain and an inadequate bed would have hurt my body, added to my pain, and made resetting the nest as I needed to shift or get up periodically so much harder.

even once I was more mobile, I still had a nest for about a week.

ymmv. I can’t have most pain killers so rest and ice play bigger roles for me than average.