AIBU to refuse the camp bed after hand surgery?

[NotAgainAbby]

I’m going into hospital tomorrow for reconstructive surgery on my hand, meaning it’ll be unusable for a couple weeks at least, certainly in a sling for the first few days anyway. The hospital is 90 miles away and I need to be there early, so DH and I had decided to stay nearer there tonight, and his brother and wife are going to stay at our house to watch DC6 and take him to school in the morning. They haven’t babysat before as we aren’t particularly close and not had a need for a sitter.
DH say they need to have our bed which I have prepared all fresh and clean, and that I should have the inflatable camp bed I’d set up for them in our home office, and to use that for a week or two myself so he won’t disturb me in the night (he snores, and DC gets in our bed often, and he does sometimes have a bad back).
I’ve just tried it and it’s so low to the ground I can’t easily get up with both hands let alone with one arm. It’s also a walk to the bathroom whereas our room has an ensuite (and my period has started today). He’s taken them to the pub for a quick drink. Am I right to tell him no, i’m having our bed to recover and he can have the camp bed, even after they’ve gone?
Ive never had surgery before and he says I’m being dramatic about it all.

Good luck with the surgery and please report back on the logistics of googling divorce lawyers one-handed.

Could you have your child's bed and your child sleep on the inflatable? Your brother is law is helping you put, they shouldn't have to sleep on a camp bed and be inconvenienced. Children generally love temporary things like this it will be an adventure and their young bones don't suffer from beds like that. And you can sleep in their bed.

That's what I would do...

I hope the surgery goes smoothly 🙏

He's an arse. Him not understanding, I can semi forgive as he not had surgery before and can perhaps be forgiven for underestimating the pain, exhaustion, incapacity etc as you recover. But the silent treatment, especially at a time when he should be considerate that you might be worried and nervous, is utterly unforgivable. Is he always so selfish? What was he like when you were recovering from labour and birth?

Those posters suggesting he pop out to buy new bedding and make it up for her - I'm getting the impression this is a total pipe dream unfortunately. But many, most, men absolutely would take care of this without being asked.

Also, having had a fair few operations under general and sedation over the years ranging from hour long procedures to 8+ hour surgeries, I need to prepare you for not feeling immediately ok for a while, even if your pain is controlled. I tolerate pain relief and anaesthesia well, but I will invariably have trouble sleeping for the next few nights after. It's almost like the deep sleep of sedation or anaesthesia totally knocks my circadian rhythm out and I'll sleep for 3 hours max - exhausted and uncomfortable But not able to sleep. You should be in your own bed with a supply of drinks, snacks, pain relief and a book on hand just incase.

Please don't let him coerce you into just getting on with things too soon to make his own life easier. You need looking after. If he can't muster enough love and empathy, I think you need to really re-evaluate things.

I get the hotel suggestions, and I'm glad you are prepared to advocate for yourself, but you honestly shouldn't be alone and it makes me sad that you have to go to this extreme in order to get the rest you need.