AIBU to refuse the camp bed after hand surgery?

[NotAgainAbby]

I’m going into hospital tomorrow for reconstructive surgery on my hand, meaning it’ll be unusable for a couple weeks at least, certainly in a sling for the first few days anyway. The hospital is 90 miles away and I need to be there early, so DH and I had decided to stay nearer there tonight, and his brother and wife are going to stay at our house to watch DC6 and take him to school in the morning. They haven’t babysat before as we aren’t particularly close and not had a need for a sitter.
DH say they need to have our bed which I have prepared all fresh and clean, and that I should have the inflatable camp bed I’d set up for them in our home office, and to use that for a week or two myself so he won’t disturb me in the night (he snores, and DC gets in our bed often, and he does sometimes have a bad back).
I’ve just tried it and it’s so low to the ground I can’t easily get up with both hands let alone with one arm. It’s also a walk to the bathroom whereas our room has an ensuite (and my period has started today). He’s taken them to the pub for a quick drink. Am I right to tell him no, i’m having our bed to recover and he can have the camp bed, even after they’ve gone?
Ive never had surgery before and he says I’m being dramatic about it all.

Tonight I'd sleep on the campbed as your inlaws are doing you a favour. Tomorrow night you need to be back in your own bed so you can recover. If anyone needs to sleep elsewhere it's your husband.

When you say you don't have extra bedding, do you mean you only have one set of sheets and duvet cover? If so, order another set tonight and either sleep in the sheets your inlaws have used for the one night, or use your old bedding and have fresh pillow cases and a double duvet instead of a king-size one and change the fitted sheet when the new ones arrive.

In laws get the bed tonight and you and DH go on the camp bed. You don't need the bed anymore than them tonight so it's polite to let the guests have the better bed, especially when they are being guests to help you.

After that, either you both sleep in your normal bed or you have the normal bed and DH has the camp bed because you are injured and so need the bed that's easier to get in and out of.

Amazon and another bed set will arrive by morning 🤷‍♀️

Get a second set of bedding now,

Yep.

Agree with everyone else

Give the in laws your bed but once you've had the op you need to be back in your bed

When you go for your op, DH needs to drive to dunelm and buy a new set of sheets.

Is he normally so selfish?

That's really not OK. The inlaws are coming, presumably at their own expense and inconvenience purely to do OP a favour. She needs to provide them with a clean, fresh proper bed, or pay for them to stay in a hotel. If I was OP, I'd probably opt to stay in a hotel myself to ensure proper rest and peace and quiet.

Once they've gone, obviously DH should have the camp bed and OP the proper bed (with clean spare sheets that will take 2 seconds to order from Amazon...)

Yeah I agree, I would have absolutely sorted sheets out, and I don’t know who only has the 1 set, but it’s a bit late now what with shops being shut. Amazon may manage it in time. But they’d have to leave the delivery in a safe place as the house will be empty tomorrow and if something goes wrong there OP doesn’t have any clean bedding. Hotel last minute is going to be spendy and that’s if there even are any decent ones nearby with space. So I think the only solution now is just to apologise profusely to the ILs but it’ll have to be the airbed.

Your husband is a truly insensitive and stupid individual.

This. I have had surgery on my hand. You need to be in a proper bed and he needs to be helping you with everything. I couldn’t pull my pants up and spent 4 weeks on morphine. He needs to step up.

Or any decent sized supermarket, or Argos, will have bedding sets he can go and pick up tomorrow. Is he always this lazy and unempathetic? And as for you 'making a fuss' about surgery, is he some kind of veteran who's had dozens of operations himself?

Sorry for being a thicko but I don’t understand?

You're not at home tonight so your in laws sleep in your bed whilst you’re close to the hospital? Is that right?

If so, you come home after the operation, they go home, you get your bed back.

Your DH can sleep with you or in the sofa or camp bed. How on earth can he think you should be anywhere other than the bed?

I'm not actually sure if OP and the inlaws are going to be there on the same night as OP is in a hotel tonight. But if they are, OP needs to pay for a hotel room (however expensive) for the in laws if they don't have a proper bed for them.

But I don't think that's the actual problem. I think the issue is a mix between just one set of sheets (ridiculous, and easily solved), and OP's DH expecting to take the bed himself alone, and boot OP onto the camp bed (utterly selfish of him, and a hard NO!)

So many options Asda do bedding for under £10
he sleeps on sofa you can get a single mattress cheap enough
if your arms in a sling you can get out if camp bed
just get in your bed
but yes in-law have your bed the night they stay

Is the camp bed a double? Because if not, where will they sleep, one on the camp bed and one on the sofa? You might need to either get a second set of sheets or do a quick laundry turnaround!

Tonight, the in-laws have the bed.

Tomorrow, in-laws leave and, if they’re very nice, strip the bed and put in the wash.

You have your operation and DH spends the time buying luxurious spare bedding and lots of nice treats for you.

DH collects you, installs you on the sofa with tea, snacks, painkillers and the remote. DH changes the bedding and makes it lovely for you. You rest. DH feeds you in bed. DH looks after child and sleeps on camp bed. Any less and he’s a selfish arse.

Your husband is being very insensitive and inconsiderate. Of course you should sleep in a comfortable bed before and after surgery. If the two of you can't share your bed, he'll have to sleep somewhere else. I'd refuse anything else and think very poorly of him if he argues.

I can't imagine he'll be much help during your recovery, if this is his attitude!

Is this not one to solve by buying a second set of bedding. Either you have a method of washing and drying in a day, in which case do that, tasking them with the washing if needs be, or you don't in which case you're not delaying the cost by more than a week or two so may as well buy it now.

I'd tell them at the hospital that you're going home to a camp bed on the floor as your DH has the bed. They might be able to back you up and tell him that you need a proper bed to recover. Is he going to help you with personal care etc? When I had surgery I was only allowed home if they were confident someone could support me.

Surely it is up to you whether you’ll be disturbed and need to sleep somewhere else?
if his snoring bothers you you can kick him out - but why would he want you to sleep on a camp bed post surgery?????

You definitely should have the bed, and the room with the en suite.

But separately, if you're young enough to have a six-year-old child and otherwise able, you should ideally be able to get up off the floor or a low bed without using both hands.

Hard no. Is he always such a gent?!

What's ymmv?

Is that supposed to say, "He can sleep on an airbed..."?

This is what should happen

Oh no! The wifebot has malfunctioned!

fieget changing the sheets; just get in your own bed. He will get the message xx speedy healing xxx