Pure Cremation is body disposal right?

[josephiine]

The advert makes it sound like it’s a lovely thing and saves money. I get that it’s cheaper but surely that’s because it is literally a body disposal service?
My FIL has just planned his, he asked my husband if he minds which he doesn’t, but it got us talking, am I missing anything?

I’m not sure I agree with the closure thing. My Dad died this year, he had a direct cremation organised by the local funeral directors. He is still dead, I’m still grieving. What difference would a funeral service have made? What does it ‘close’?

Don't mind the concept and in fact its potentially appealing, but I hate the tone of the adverts which (to me) seem to be trying to guilt trip those who do want a traditional type of funeral into thinking its wrong and overpriced.

I've been to enough funerals, including my parents, to know that that final act of rememberance where their friends might get togther for the last time was hugely valuable and did provide closure.

Yeah but they don’t set fire to your body and yeet you into the street, don’t worry

Yes it’s just body disposal. A lot of people fall for the adverts. It’s often cheaper to pay your local crematorium to do the same.

This is exactly how I feel . Personally I think a memorial get together within a week or so without going to the crem was a more pleasant way to celebrate the life of someone, especially if it’s only a few close people, an empty big crematorium room always seems really sad even though it may be the case due to age or family relationships whereas 10 people in a nice small room without the preliminaries or the curtains stuff to me seems preferable -

I can fully understand people who do not want a funeral service, or a grave. Who wish to be remembered and/or have their life celebrated in some other way.

I do think that promoting it simply on the basis of low cost is in poor taste.

Everyone has their own opinion on things.
This is why it’s so important to write your funeral wishes down or get your a direct cremation
That way , it doesn’t cause an argument that’s unnecessary between family. As it’s all been sorted previously

I’ve done a direct cremation paid for upfront @ £999,
I have a partner & son and have no close friends
and can’t see my sisters coming to the other side of town and paying for taxi’s

So dp & son can do whatever they want to do on that day. Ashes will be returned .

I've said to my dc I'd like this and then for them to have a picnic at a park (unless they feel they want funeral)

"it's a respectful process...."
Sez who? No-one's allowed to attend (of course) so we won't know if this is true or not

But where there's an actual funeral service it's just another step in the process, @KaleidoscopeSmile, and unless loved ones have attended at every stage of the preparation they won't know how respectfully that's been handled either

That's how we got the dreadful Robert Bush and his Legacy funeral home in Hull, so rather than direct cremation itself being an issue that seems to me an argument for properly regulating the industry as a whole

aren't all bodies disposed of in one way or another?

This.

I agree.

Actually I don't. There will be loads of people who don't want money wasted on their own funerals and families who would struggle to afford the price of a real funeral.

I don't see an issue with this. If you donate your body to science, then the medical school takes it upon death and will give you the ashes when they've finished with it. My DM did this and we held a church funeral for her and another family gathering to remember her life later in the year. It was lovely and I'm glad that her body could be of some use in death.

I agree.

Are not all cremations body disposal ?

I think I might be required to attend my own cremation though. 😀

I haven’t read all the comments as this is a sore subject for me. I appreciate everyone has had a different experience of this company. My DF signed up as he hated to spend money, hated the idea of his money being spent on feeding people he never saw/liked after his death and plus he got a voucher, he loved a freebie. My personal experience was that they are honest, too honest perhaps. They don’t dress the body, they tell you exactly what state the body is in when they receive it. It took over a month from his death for them to cremate him. They consistently got his name wrong, he used a different name, think Tom rather than Thomas which I made clear at the start. They sent his ashes to my mother rather than me, which was not requested. I complained, as funnily enough she got a bit upset at a random car pulling up and a box containing his ashes turning up when she was about to go out. And the ‘urn’ At the time, no photo was on their website and it was basically like a big plastic cereal container with a paper sleeve . His had red poppies on it which, perhaps I am being silly, but I associate these solely with Remembrance Day and the military, he wasn’t military and his death/cremation wasn’t in November. I did complain, they did a cut and paste letter and gave my mum £150 in vouchers. The sad thing was, after he died and I was on hold to the hospital to arrange for my mum to see him, the booklet from the hospital had loads of adverts for local undertakers offering the same direct cremation at the same price. At least then, we could have gone to the undertakers and not had to lie to my mother letting her think he was dressed rather than as the resuscitation team had left him.

It is probably great if you are single or if you have a wake or something arranged. My DF wanted nothing and my mother didn’t want to go against him, we had no closure and my dead pets were treated far better. Funnily enough my sibling and I have said we won’t use them for my mother, my DF wouldn’t have approved as he paid for the both of them.

Speaking to other people who have dealt with Pure Cremation, I have heard some awful stories, the wurst was when the dead relative was collected from their home and popped into an estate car. I have no reason to not believe this person’s experience.

All I can say, is they are very honest in telling you what the whole process is, but dignified, not in my view.

I think you can get a natural burial, it's on un-consecreated (not sure that's spelled incorrectly) land and you are not in a coffin, you just rot into the soil. Your family can plant a tree above.if it isn't a thing it should be, maybe a green burial?

Dh and I have decided on direct cremations and we have told the (adult) kids so that everyone is on the same page when the time comes. When dss died we had a big “celebration of his life”, which is what his siblings wanted. However as lovely as it was, it was a huge expense and exhausting at a time when we really didn’t need it. I think it is probably the right thing to do for a younger person but when us oldies go I think they would rather split the extra cash simple will be better.

I deal with bereavement as part of my job and this seems to be by far the most popular type of “funeral” at the moment.
Im guessing if the person has planned their own funeral they’ve decided they want no fuss and no extra expense for their family.
It certainly seems the way funerals are going.

It’s great, we’ve just organised one for a close relative and we were very impressed. Buying coffins and hiring hearses seems so pointless and wasteful. You can still say a few words while scattering ashes if you wish or go for a few drinks.
The ashes from pure cremation come in a container that is biodegradable so you can bury it if you choose. DH and I are both going to have direct cremations.

Well, I found it entirely appropriate for giving my mum a good send off, but of course opinions may differ. Calling someone "performative" - to at all indicate that I wanted to show off, impress others or give a performance after my mum dying of pancreatic cancer is a seriously fucking shit thing to say to anyone by the way.

burials too.

My dad had what they called an unaccompanied cremation- his wishes. It is as it sounds and I found a lovely local funeral director to do it. They said they will take him in to the chapel, place him on the what ever its called and pay him a few moments of respect and then leave. I was advised these types of cremations are usually early in the morning. My mum saw him in the chapel of rest in what she felt was a suitable coffin with a name plate with born and died dates and his name.