To think it's impossible to work full time and keep a clean/tidy house without a cleaner?

[FishfingerFlinger]

I feel like I'm constantly desperately trying to keep our house from falling into complete squalor, panicking about unexpected guests when the place looks like a bombsite and it's all generally getting me down.

If you're generally keeping on top of having a presentable, clean house while having a full-time job, DC, but without paying a cleaner...HOW DO YOU DO IT?

Like, really break it down for me - what are you doing, when are you doing it, how much time does it take? Where am I going wrong?

(and before anyone says its a DH problem - he more than pulls his weight, has a demanding full time job and is also managing a renovation project on the side so he's swamped).

Another ‘we manage it’. If there’s two adults cleaning a house and helping out with every household task then yes it is manageable and infinitely easier than one woman working full time then doing the whole lot on her own. It’s not even comparable.

I can't even do it part time. It's almost impossible in a small house and a child with SEN. I think if I had a few weeks off work to sort storage and de-clutter a bit I could make it better, but it wouldn't be great.

If you feel it's cluttered rather than dirty then, as others have said, you have too much stuff that doesn't have a specific home.

So realistically you get rid of some of the stuff or you look into additional storage.

A tidy house is easier and quicker to keep clean as you have a clear run through with the hoover or mop etc., and you can wipe down surfaces without having to move stuff from here to there and back again.

When I worked full time I did one load of washing each night before I went to bed then pegged it out or put it on the airer when I got up. I never did a load bigger than what the airer would take, I used two airers in the winter as clothes were bulkier. It was dry by the evening and I ironed what needed ironing while DH did dinner.

When I put the load in the washing machine before I went to bed, I also gave the kitchen a wipe down, did any left over washing up etc.

I did find that keeping in top of the laundry and the kitchen every day helped.

It is not possible. Simple as that. Unless you are killing
yourself spending a weekend cleaning.

people have too much clutter anyway.

quite honestly I’m a sahm and I have a cleaner! I want a clean home not just a tidy one. I’ve never understood why it’s such a big issue to have a cleaner. Absolutely everyone I know has one. Sahp/working parent- everyone I know has one and it’s not even an issue.

But it is possible…

My partner leaves for work at 6-6.30, and gets home at 6-6.30, if not later, so during the week it’s all on me - school runs, dinner, homework, sickness/holiday cover, Dr/dentist appointments, laundry, cleaning. I genuinely just think it’s far easier once you’ve got a routine in place, keep on top of it regularly so it never gets too bad a regularly declutter.

Don’t bother lol. I agree it’s absolutely possible as millions of families seem to manage it without any drama but this is MN where cleaning your own home seems to be the equivalent of working another full time job 😂

I don't know a single person who has one.

Plus the 'mental load', which seems to be some paperwork.

Yeah the “mental load” and “life admin”…it’s just “things we need to do” it’s called life!

Meanwhile…..in the real world!

Or organising things like car insurance which only happen annually 😂

I know! 😆

Literally did mine the other day…took 15mins.

Another onerous task is responding to invitations. 😁

Which is hilarious as most party invites we have had over the last 3 years have been on WhatsApp 🤣

well yes, but it still takes time and someone needs to do it.

It's well and good to say your car only needs 1 MOT a year but you still need to book it and then find a slot to take the car and pick it up. Repeat when you have 2 cars
and the insurance. and organising and booking the holidays (no one is complaining about holidays, just pointing out you still need to make the time to plan them, and getting all the right outfits for the kids because they grow all the time)
and the kids birthdays, and the dentist appointments for everybody, and booking the weekends for the kids competition when they are away, and sorting the kits, and your smear test, and your tax return, and the school emails and events...

Individually, nothing is a big deal or complicated.
It just adds up, and in real life, it's not a 15mn job every week, it's a lot more than that.

It becomes a "mental load" when 2 adults live together, but one has decided not to burden themselves with anything, and expect the partner to deal and plan everything, including things for their in-laws

Same!

Then stop for a month?

6 is early! Then I guess he helps out in the evening. We are doing ourselves no favours pretending that working full time then doing everything at home - all the cooking and the cleaning and everything to do with the kids is easy. There are no medals given out…

When the reality looks different.

If you are a single Mum who works full time with multiple kids then come and tell me keeping your home clean and tidy is easy (I am sure someone on here will in a minute).

We do all realise this is the opposite of progress? You are not having it all you are doing it all and probably exhausting yourself in the process. Do you think men sit around asking each other how to keep their houses clean and work full time?

We need to spell out that it’s a lot.

Yes, my point is though they are not as taxing as people let on. I do all those things and I work full time…and my house is tidy. I’m not superwoman but it’s not THAT crazy. Unless you have extra needs how often do most people go to the dentist? Twice a year? Insurance..once a year. Smear test…every few years…kids activities are just added to the calendar. Kids clothing…shop online. It’s not rocket science

stop what?

How letting things pile up , and missing deadlines and appointments would help anyone?

Exactly.
I have passed everything to do with the in-laws to DH. Then he forgets the nephews and nieces birthdays and I get the blame. FFS!

I am not saying it's rocket science, I work and I have a house that's more show-home than anything. I like it calm.

Things work because I keep on top of them and I don't run around playing catch-up all the time.

I am just saying that it's completely disingenuous to pretend that "admin" is a couple of emails and a whatsapp once every few months. Things add up, and there's always more to add to the list.

Kids clothing…shop online.
great, but it's still something to do. And then trying them on, and getting rid of the old clothes. It's not a 30 seconds job, that's all I am saying.

how often do most people go to the dentist? Twice a year?
yes, during work hours, and that's twice a year per person.
Not all dentists have appointments available for the entire family in the same afternoon, it's already a luxury to have an available dentist 😂

Nothing is just a 5mn job. It takes me a lot more than 5mn to go to my local surgery for my smear test, even if I jog there and back not to waste the day completely

Blame from who?