My parents have become insufferable.

[PleasePleasePleaseDontProve]

I am really struggling with my parents. Both are mid-sixties, retired. It seems since retirement they have become quite bigoted, insufferable and insular in their viewpoints. Every time I meet up with them conversations revolve around:

• Illegal immigration / people on benefits / Reform and Nigel Farage. Essentially focussing around the latest GB news story (which they watch religiously).
• Their latest or ongoing health ailments and how poor, in their view, the NHS is.
• Unnecessary and rude descriptions to describe other people (could be random strangers) or people they know. For example, ‘our fat neighbour has put on tons of weight.’

I used to have a fantastic relationship with my parents, particularly my father, and I’m sure he wasn’t always like this. I’m starting to dislike meeting up with them as their attitudes seem to have changed towards life and people in general, and they constantly want to discuss the latest GB News story.

Has anybody else found this has happened to their parents?

They’re just not nice people. It was probably more hidden when they were busy working but the foundation of their thinking doesn’t change solely because of GB news or they would not watch it to begin with.
Mass immigration is a problem too.

Parents not so much but my grandparents are in their 70’s (they had children by 20 and I also have young parents) are just like this now. They used to be wonderful and I never heard anything negative from them, but the last couple of years it’s all about immigrants/benefits/handouts/boats/rape etc. Very racially focused and awful to listen to. They are well off and live more than very comfortably but act as if they are being personally restricted by literally anything going on. I’ve gone from adoring spending time with them to dreading our visits!

They probably feel the same. Go NC. Forgo the cash.

my dad is the same ever since he got with his racist partner they just sit there going on about immigrants and the nhs is prioritising them. it's very tiresome

Dps grandmother is the same, world news channel is always on! She talks to the other church sisters about what medications there all on for the same illnesses.
Migraine being a massive one atm she seems to think they all have Migraines&arthritis!
shes Windrush generation but also dont believe in illegal immigrants! Same conversations constantly 😴 shes 89 but dp speaks on the phone once a week now and visits once every blue moon 🌙( where 50miles away) luckily her daughter's go round daily.

How can truth be an 'awful' thing to say. They believe the crap they read in the trash rags.

Critical thinking is a key life skill.

As you're so clever, you will of course understand that the NHS do give priority care to asylum seekers. Right?

The irony!

Tell them to start posting on here. They’ll feel right at home.

I think retirement causes this, I hope I never have to retire 😁

I think working keeps people between the hedges.

@PleasePleasePleaseDontProve Illegal immigration / people on benefits / Reform and Nigel Farage. Essentially focussing around the latest GB news story (which they watch religiously).

The overwhelming majority of the UK thinks that it is wrong for people to come to the country illegally. If you disagree, you're in a tiny minority.

Their latest or ongoing health ailments and how poor, in their view, the NHS is.

If your parents are 60s, then you're likely very young. Just wait until you get older or you have a serious or debilitating medical condition, then you may have more empathy for those who are unwell.

Unnecessary and rude descriptions to describe other people (could be random strangers) or people they know. For example, ‘our fat neighbour has put on tons of weight.’

This is the only thing from your list that's obnoxious.

Critical thinking is a key life skill.
Agreed. Not one taught in university though. That’s a life skill some people never grasp.
Nothing to do with a university education.

Touched a nerve did I?

I'm not saying everyone who never went to uni lacks critical thinking skills of course FFS.

😆No

@Newusernameforthissif I could like this a thousand times, I would.

Well, there is One more obnoxious thing..

That's a very thoughtful point. I do agree retired people have more time on their hands and if they're constantly being told things are terrible, they're going to worry about that. To be honest, a lot of things are terrible but older people don't have the filters to deal with terrible things all their waking hours. I don't think any of us do, but most of us are busy with other stuff at least some of the time. It's a bit of a wake-up call not to spend too much time focusing on the bad things that are happening in the world and make space for happy things too.

Okay so I must’ve been hallucinating what I saw then. Because some snobby stranger implying I’m stupid on Mumsnet said so!

I don’t understand this comment? I absolutely adore them, they have always been incredibly involved, supportive and wonderful grandparents. We moved house 3 years ago specifically to a place that was hugely closer to their home so we could see them more, they were like a second set of parents growing up. I’m just saying it’s hard to watch the shift from seemingly wonderful and carefree to bigoted, racist and hateful to minorities. It’s a side of them I haven’t experienced and it’s upsetting have that shift. It’s not about money at all. They are still wonderful to us, dote on my toddler, but conversations are very difficult as we can’t just have lovely general conversation like we used to, so much less laughter and it’s sad

I think unfortunately some people do become rude and prejudiced about people as they age. I witnessed this with my late DM. She had always been unfailingly polite and would never be rude about anyone,strangers or otherwise,but I noticed as she reached her late 70s,this gradually changed. She'd make comments about peoples clothes,their weight,and their hair,in a not particularly quiet voice when we were out in public. When I'd ask to keep it down,she'd just retort 'Well,they shouldn't go out looking like a dogs dinner then!'.

My mum is very liberal but has become increasingly judgemental about people and has completely forgotten what it is like to have children. Very quick to judge parents, quite of the children should be seen and not heard variety and has very little time for mental health problems, just thinks everyone should just pull themselves together. Just very quick to judge and say whatever comes to her mind. She is 75. But socially is and always has been very liberal.

Yes I remember that post as well!
It was just as ageist and patronising as this one.

Breathe and don't take it personally. Unfortunately some people on MN like to say the deliberately most upsetting thing they can. Its a thing on here sadly. Not always a supportive place.

I empathise totally. It's a real shame. It's like a gradual brainwashing process. Have you watched 'the brainwashing of my dad'? I think its on youtube. Might help you.

A bit like in the US there are Trump supporters who have been slowly brainwashed away from their families, cult style.

It's like a personal grieving you have to go through and one of the hardest things you will have to do. A huge mental dilemma to see people you are so close to shift so much and become so miserable.

I'm not sure what the solution is TBH. If you find it, let me know!

You do know there are thousands of people on MN. And new people joining every week. Some topics do come up more than once!

They are your parents. You’ll miss them when they’re gone

Ugh, this kind of twee nonsense is one of the most irritating comments I read on Mumsnet. Not everybody has lovely caring parents. Some had shit childhoods. Some people definitely won’t miss theirs when they are gone.