He was very touchy-feely on date BUT I didn't object and kissed him back.

104 replies

NickyC1975 · 13/09/2026 23:50

I was on a 1st date with a very attractive, confident, cheeky man (we're both 50s) and he was very touchy with his moves eg. stroking my knees/legs, holding my hands, kissing my shoulder and lips and even my chest a couple times. I never kissed on a 1st date before but I let him do all this with very little complaint but part of me was just being polite as I did feel uncomfortable about it afterwards and so ended it next day. He sent a voice-clip apologizing and sounded very sincere, took full responsibility and understood and offered to sit on his hands if we meet again. He said he was unexpectantly overwhelmed at how attracted he was to me, esp my soft skin. I did enjoy kissing/hand holding etc but still I felt it was a lot.

I NEVER stopped him and in fact I touched him BACK and NEVER even flinched so it would be very easy for him to assume I was OK with it. But I did feel uncomfortable as I'm a slow-burn. He was a very nice guy though and said he respected my boundaries and would not go too far and was really looking forward to seeing me again and I was planning to see him again until I had a change of heart next day.

Am I being unreasonable for ending it and not just communicating better? He's not a mind reader but part of me feels he should have read my cues better even though I do realise it was confusing cos I never stopped him or even said NOI!

OP posts:

YourGoldLurker · Yesterday 22:33

What's wrong with kissing on a first date ?

YourGoldLurker · Yesterday 22:59

There is nothing wrong with feeling uncomfortable but I'm sorry your rules are odd. No kissing on a first date. Sitting across tables. That is just weird.

LadyGAgain · Yesterday 23:47

I’ve reported this post as I don’t believe it at all. And your ambiguity around this (which isn’t) doesn’t serve us women well.

LadyGAgain · Yesterday 23:48

NickyC1975 · Yesterday 18:57

I was on the date for 3hrs and he was quite touchy from early on and even kissed me within an hour-ish so I was uneasy throughout most of it. After we finished our drinks about 2hrs later, he offered me a 2nd round and I accepted. I could've gone home after first drink but didn't. When we kissed goodbye, I said I'd text him when I got home and told him, 'thanks for the date, hope you got home safe.' But next day I ended it.

I believe touching and kissing is not for first dates. Even if you're a couple in an established relationship you should only be sitting opposite each other at a table. On previous dates when men have touched me, I've been put off.

I wasn't asking if I'm unreasonable for ending it, I was asking if I was unreasonable for not communicating better and expecting him to know what I was thinking - yes, I know I touched/kissed him back, didn't flinch and accepted a 2nd drink and stayed 3hrs and I know people do all this but it's just not me. I was hoping the responses here would be more objective and fair and not biased simply cos I'm a fellow-woman as it defeats the purpose of asking - but I guess that's MN. Someone mentioned if this was a court case, I'd have to do better.

This isn’t a real post. At all. Reported.

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