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AIBU?

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Original poster

To cancel going to friends wedding

833 replies

Watdidusay · 12/09/2026 21:18

We have a close friends wedding to attend in 6 weeks. It's been booked about 6 months in advance. We've prepaid for travel, hotels, childminding and bought traditional clothing for the event. I'm in the wedding party.

Just received an invite to my SILs wedding today (DHs sister) for the same date. In 6 weeks time.
Different part of the country.

Family are all saying we have to cancel the other wedding. We are going to be out hundreds of £.

AIBU to go to family wedding instead just to make my life easier? Everyone is angry at me for even considering not going to DHs sisters wedding. I feel terrible.

OP posts:
Chilly80 · Today 12:40

Stay strong 💪

LarryForPrimeMinister · Today 12:44

Stay strong. They would of booked months if not over a year ago. Not your problem they couldn't be arsed to at least mention the date!

Iocanepowder · Today 12:47

This definitely allows a situation where a child can tell their parent they are acting like a child.

BigBilly · Today 12:49

AnonyMumAuDHD · Today 12:01

I agree - I think your DH should text to state that the discussion is closed. He and you are unable to attend due to the short notice, prior commitment and considerable financial loss that would be suffered by both yourselves and the friends for cancelled travel arrangement etc. It is a shame you cannot be there, and you wish them all a fab day, but there is nothing you can do about it at this late stage. Further, you will not be taking any more calls if they persist on this matter and may have no choice but to temporarily mute/block their messages.

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This is the ideal response 😃⬆️ firm and polite.

LiteraryBambi · Today 12:51

Watdidusay · Today 10:47

So I have an update. Still no response from SIL but FIL and MIL phoned DH last night with MIL sobbing in the background. "How could you choose someone else over your own family" was said. DH did argue that SIL never asked us to save the date and response was essentially "you know she finds this stuff stressful" so DH continuing to be guilt tripped. I did not let on that I was listening to the call.

Oh that line from your ILs really resonates.

My SIL is absolutely useless and we're NC now because she is also a terrible person. But we are told endlessly by MIL and other family that 'that is how she is" and "you know she really struggles with life".

I don't care. Our job is not to make her life more comfortable or easier.

Don't pander to this OP, you've made the right call.

Daygloboo · Today 12:58

Watdidusay · 12/09/2026 21:28

Family are angry at me for even suggesting this though,that's the problem.

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You'll have to fall out with them then. Just argue your corner. If they are being so unreasonable then the gloves are off.

themarvelofmarvels · Today 13:25

He hasn't chosen anyone though, you have a prior engagement that you have already paid out a lot of money for.

Anyone who arranges a wedding in just 6 weeks, can't expect everyone to be able to attend, including family.

SIL could change her date if she wants her DB there.

Pipsquiggle · Today 13:27

We are going to another wedding.
My sister didn't ask if we were free on that date or any other date.
If she wants her family to attend her wedding, she needs to check in advance and give more than 6 weeks notice.

Rinse and repeat. It's not your problem

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