To cancel going to friends wedding

[Watdidusay]

We have a close friends wedding to attend in 6 weeks. It's been booked about 6 months in advance. We've prepaid for travel, hotels, childminding and bought traditional clothing for the event. I'm in the wedding party.

Just received an invite to my SILs wedding today (DHs sister) for the same date. In 6 weeks time.
Different part of the country.

Family are all saying we have to cancel the other wedding. We are going to be out hundreds of £.

AIBU to go to family wedding instead just to make my life easier? Everyone is angry at me for even considering not going to DHs sisters wedding. I feel terrible.

well done OP

I disagree with this,I would absolutely expect my husband to go to his sisters wedding,

I wouldnt, really. She didn't even check they were free on that date so is she bothered about either of them being there?

The last minute wedding and not checking your availability either means they’re not bothered whether you can make it or not or they’re arrogant and assume you will drop everything for them. Neither is good.

mosr people don’t sit and check their wedding dates with folks to be fair.

So if you planned a wedding in 6 weeks you wouldn’t check sibling availability?! Odd.

they generally do for the people they most want in attendance.
it’s totally unreasonable to not check availability but then get funny about an invitation being declined due ti a prior arrangement.

Most people don’t announce the date 6 weeks in advance either

I would go to my friends and my husband to his sisters. Yes your friend may be angry that he cancelled but I agree he shouldn’t miss his sisters. You have plans in advance and are a big part of the wedding you shouldn’t miss your friends wedding and even though his family may be upset they also should of checked with you you had no plans before setting a date. That’s on them.

No

Have you never heard of a save the date a year in advance?

They do and they dont.

For immediate family who you want to be there, and who want to be there, you do.

Has anyone got any plans for the date being considered, any teachers in the family? Either weekend dates then or midweek only during the holidays. Grandma isnt very well so perhaps we should bring it forward to X month. That sort of thing.

Sounds like SIL is way too used to shouting "jump" and her parents asking "how high?"

Agree. DH and I checked with our parents and siblings before setting at date. We wanted to make sure our closest family members were there.

Hard disagree.

1. The OP is a bridesmaid at the friend's wedding, and it is really bad form to pull out
2. The OP has already paid for travel, hotels, childminding and traditional clothing and I doubt that any of it is refundable
3. The SIL sounds like a nasty bully who expects everyone to jump to her demands

What is trivial about a wedding? It is one of the biggest occasions in someone’s life.