Could my friend have munchausens?

[Anonnymouse124]

I have a friend with two children and they have both been diagnosed with autism. A mutual friend is convinced she’s manipulating the system to get attention and benefits as she had paid for private doctor appointments. I thought this was the most disgusting accusation so am trying to work out what I am missing. Is it even possible for this to happen?

And thats the whole point you can only write what you see so parents may well exaggerate but they are not getting the evidence to back up what they say so will most likely not be awarded due to lack of evidence

Because it's an easier diagnosis to make than trying to unpick the trauma that presents in a very similar way?
Because there are unscrupulous companies that take your money and then feel obliged to give you a diagnosis
Because a lot of a diagnosis goes on parental report, especially if there are other disabilities such as physical or learning disabilities which impact on social communication but may not be taken into account.
Because fudging the information is potentially worth it to get additional benefits.

I'm a healthcare professional working with children. I'm very concerned that there are children and young people being diagnosed with ASD and the underlying trauma/anxiety is ignored and not treated. Their outcomes could be so much better.b

I tend to agree. I know a good many people who exhibit behaviours that a lot of MN people would label as autistic.

My father had the traumatic death of his mother and separation from his father. He was brought up by an aunt who would not let him mix with other children. He could be labelled as 'an Aspie.' But there are also alternative explanations for his behaviour.

My younger brother is odd and obsessive and does not have good social skills.- again a possible autistic. But then as the longed for youngest child, my parents simply didn't give him the boundaries that my older brother and I were given. He was left out of the companionship my brother and I had and not allowed to have friends round. Playing elaborate solitary games offered an escape.He had terrible disfiguring acne as a young man. There are plenty of reasons why he struggles to fit in in some situations. He had a bad childhood and adolescence.

People's lives are complex and so often saying, 'Oh they're autistic' seems like a label that becomes more meaningless with each new diagnosis.

I’ve read my nephews ‘autism’ diagnosis report and honestly it’s completely bogus. All of the things listed as autistic traits are completely down to my DSIS parenting style.

For example - Timmy likes to eat the same foods repeatedly

Erm yeah, of course he does because DSIS loads him up with ice cream and chocolate right before dinnr, then gives Timmy a choice of what HE wants for dinner.

There wasn’t any input from nursery at all. This was all based on my DSIS over exaggerates words. Money to be made for these companies after all.

You’re not going to get a diagnosis for solitary playing on its own so not sure what your point is.

I accept that not every professional is trauma informed and mistakes may be made.
I completely disagree that diagnosis hinges on what parents report. There is a stringent assessment process that should be followed to diagnose.

I am not saying it’s fool proof or that some children are not mis-diagnosed, but it is not at the rate some posters are claiming.
I also don’t believe that any medical professional would risk their career by knowingly misdiagnosing a child.

I’ll say again, a diagnosis is not enough to receive DLA or carer benefits.

You may be a medical professional, but are you involved in the diagnostic process for neurodiversity? If not it’s no more relevant than my professional qualification.

Yeah but an armchair disgnosis from a bunch of posters on mumsnet is not the same a an actual diagnosis.

I could do a much longer list of ways in which my brother is 'different' - listing various failures to understand social norms, his one-sided interactions, his routines, rituals, sensitivities and behaviours. I'd hoped that Mumsnetters were astute enough to understand I was citing an example. (As a child I was simply puzzled about how most days he'd play a game that is meant for a number of players for himself and be distraught if someone else were to move a piece)

He has told me recently that he's wondered if he were autistic but has not sought a diagnosis. I think he's at a point in his career and personal life where he is really not sure a label would be positively useful.

And I really don't know how much it would be useful to him or others. Me and my older brother simply manage perfectly well by thinking, 'Well this is what Cedric is like.'

It is really since becoming aware of my younger relative's profound difficulties, differences and developmental delays that I have felt uneasy about how readily we suggest autism as a label for ourselves and our children.

I have no doubt that many parents struggle with their children and that many children struggle at school and in social settings. There should be more support in schools. CAMHS should be better funded. There should not be long waiting lists in the NHS - though as a society we're most unwilling to pay the higher taxes that would make this all possible.

Society should get away from a culture which labels difference and slower development as problems that must always be medicalised.

But it concerns me deeply that there is a group of people, who are in so many ways 'able' who are focusing very much on the ways in which they are different and claiming that this is profoundly disabling.

It is this constant claim on those of us who get labelled 'neurotypical' that they must give compassion, flexibility, allowances, make way, sideline their own needs and discomforts - in a way that goes far beyond ordinary decency and tolerance.

And the real killer is that all this noise around the ever-expanding pool of behaviours labelled as 'autistic' diverts attention from those with the profoundest forms of disability.

This doesn't mean that they will be diagnosed autistic though?
I was reluctant at first to be assessed for autism because I'm aware there was neglect in my childhood, and I knew enough about child development to worry that I would be reporting false positives. I spoke to the assessor about this in the screening process. During the assessment she unpicked what was likely to be trauma, what could be either trauma or autism, and what was autism.

What's clearer now looking back, is that the things I struggled with that are neglect related, I've gradually been able to work on or overcome as an adult. The things that I struggle with due to autism, I've found strategies to cope, but I find certain things just as difficult as I did when I was a child. Simple things such as still needing to research and plan maps and routes to places and rehearse small talk for something as simple as going to a cafe, despite being a generally functioning adult and living independently since I was 18.

I work with children who have experienced trauma, many are referred for assessments and some are diagnosed ND, some are referred on, and some are assessed as both things being relevant, eg they are ND and are affected by abuse/trauma.

Kids I work with are on DLA when on the assessment pathway. Parents can get aggressive if they are not diagnosed and they are likely to lose income.
The last time I pushed back on an assessment, I saw the scores of the parent consultation which indicated autism. No the child didn't play alongside others at the age of 5. Yes they struggle with unexpected changes. The report failed to mention the significant physical and cognitive disabilities the child has. Developmentally they are not yet 5. Parents managed the disability through a very strict routine. Unexpected changes are something the child hasn't much experience of.
There won't be an ados because the child has significant physical and learning disabilities. They cannot meaningfully be assessed but somehow a bloke can do a phone call and a diagnosis given.
My reports form part of the assessment . I work with these kids for significant periods of time before, during and after assessment.

DLA isn’t based on diagnosis, it’s based on care needs, so a lack of diagnosis wouldn’t mean income was lost if the care needs remained the same.

I am not sure what you’re trying to say here? It sounds like you think autism/adhd can’t be present in children with physical and or/learning disabilities? Surely as a medical professional you are well aware of diagnostic shadowing and don’t make assumptions just because the child is learning disabled or physically disabled?

Did you or the other friend ask for her opinion? The friend may want to consider if her speech is truthful, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind. If not, maybe not speak.

I say this for people in general. We would all speak far less if we did so.

The other thing is why does it bother you OP? I understand you care, and at the same time if its not your business is it helpful to worry about this?

Yeah and I guess that’s what I’m trying to say. Munchausen is very much different from benefits fraud.

Also a GP prescribing because of quotas isn’t going to be advertising this, or doing it for cash under the table like was being insinuated by a previous poster

Yeah, but given the previous poster used ‘Munchausen’ it made sense to define it using those same terms rather than being pedantic

I believe it happens. There’s so much information available on the internet and people to help parents fill in forms. Not everyone is honest which makes it so difficult for the honest ones. Also when you get the first child diagnosed additional ones will be much easier. ( runs in families doesn’t it ?)
I know of a young person who apparently has some kind of loss of feeling in their legs which may require wheelchair use in the future. Once the new council house was approved they’ve improved a lot. Almost like there was nothing wrong with them at all. People are naive if they don’t think that the world is full of chancers. Why would you work if you would only earn min wage and you can get the same amount of money to stay at home? You’re no worse off and you have all the time in the world with the family.

One of the signs is constantly changing doctors across a locality.