Could my friend have munchausens?

[Anonnymouse124]

I have a friend with two children and they have both been diagnosed with autism. A mutual friend is convinced she’s manipulating the system to get attention and benefits as she had paid for private doctor appointments. I thought this was the most disgusting accusation so am trying to work out what I am missing. Is it even possible for this to happen?

But you need evidence. You can't just say my child has no understanding of danger and get DLA

Of course you do.

How do they get the outside evidence that’s needed? Do they bribe the school staff/doctors/SALT teams?

People who say their child has autism with no diagnosis may be incorrect.

If you have an actual diagnosis then it’s highly unlikely that the medical expert has got it wrong.
They get paid per assessment, not per diagnosis - there is nothing in it for them to lie.

If a doctor diagnosed them with cancer, meningitis or acne - would she still think it was made up?

Well then hes a very stupid Doctor teliing evrryone he does this and will likely get struck off at some point.

If they're that money oriented, why would they pay 3k for a diagnosis when having a diagnosis isn't relevant to the benefits decision?

Your last paragraph is so true - we're quick to question ASD diagnoses but if it's physical people tend not to, even if we can't see the physical disability

Well my DC1 didn't get it through NHS, had traits but not debilitating enough - then they did another new test on him which then got him diagnosis. All through NHS. It's not just private where things can evolve.

Yes, 2 early teens in the same family who had a presentation that schools, medical professionals, and similar were confidently predicting as 'classic ADHD' and supporting the route to diagnosis. For various reasons, social services and regular therapists were already involved.
There were definitely needs there that mainstream school did not help. The effects of being there had impacts both on the individuals and the family.
The process for diagnosing ND was started but because there was definitely known trauma and separation issues from the 0-2 stage, which can produce the same or very similar effects, the advice was that it would be detrimental to pursue that.

Yes but it goes off need not diagnosis
The spectrum is huge
A diagnosis on its own is not enough.

I think this is a bit silly. Lots of parents end up saying for neuro assessments because the waiting lists for NHS assessments are very long (3-5 years in most areas) and they want help sooner.

It seems far more likely to be a parent trying their best for their dc to me.

If anything a diagnosis could make it less likely to get benefits, if the parent is trying to lie to get them - if the clinician provides evidence that the childs needs are 'relatively' (in DLA terms) low, they'll believe the clinician!

You can lie untill your blue in the face but they dont just take your word for it you need robust evidence

But I'm not 'fine'. We all 'mask' in order not to get arrested or disciplined at worl. We all feel grief and anger struggle at times with social rules and want to kick off. Adults will sometimes deal with that by having alcohol or casual sex or seeking a whole alternative life in an online community.

Children don't have those opportunites and will find other ways to act out.

I honestly believe that in an earlier era where children had more unsupervised outdoor play, were more free to just be with their peers and where they were less scrutinised by anxious adults who were concerned about their achivements, a lot of children could just muddle through - gaining some skills along the way.

My sister works in FE for young people with EHCPs and she says that in the system it is known and accepted that some of this goes on. We speak about this often because when it is suspected, she feels it is a battle against the system to actually do anything and she finds it frustrating.

She also says that the approach taken is to look firstly at the potential of harm caused to the young person and not necessarily jump claiming the parent has Munchausen by proxy - now referred to as FII - Fabricated or Induced Illness. This is stated in Safeguarding and Education literature and guidelines for those working across the sector.

Also safeguarding guidance does recognise that there will a small number of parents that will be motivated to get a diagnosis for financial gain.

So @Anonnymouse124 the system is there to safeguard and protect young ones, because it does unfortunately happen occasionally.

Painting a smile on is not the same as autistic masking. You're misunderstanding the term, and frankly, being discriminatory by doing so.

I had plenty of opportunities to play out as a child, as did my uncle and grandma. We're all clearly autistic, I'm first to be diagnosed. My uncle and grandparents have had issues all their lives which looking back are clearly autism related. Including my grandma being placed in a mental institution when she hit menopause (temporarily, thankfully)

Just to add, I don't think the term masking really helps, I have read of clinicians using the term compensating instead, because it's clearer that it's broader, and it's about the strategies autistic people use to navigate which aren't just how they behave in the moment, but the planning and rehearsing ahead of time and the down time or self regulating after. A bit like how people with chronic fatigue use the idea of 'spoons', you have to structure your life in a way you can function and that is limiting, even if it means on the face of it you have a 'good' life.

I absolutely agree but if the OP if correct, and her friend is using this diagnosis to get ‘attention and benefits’ I would think she will very much push the need for them and say what needs to be said.

Again you need robust evidence
You can say what you want lie
Exaggerate etc but without evidence you wont get very far.

How, if she has no evidence? You have to have robust evidence.

The issue is so much of the diagnosis is self reported. The same with the DLA claim and the PIP claim. I could fill it in tomorrow saying I couldn't do xyz.

You could but it would be pointless without evidence
And by that i mean from professionals not just a quick note from the Gp

Try it, and see how effective it is.

😂

My son has multiple NHS diagnoses, a list of medication, umpteen hospital admissions, meeting notes and is under tier 3 services. He didn’t qualify for PIP. What are you going to say to get PIP so easily?

Medical misogynists are so annoying my friend was adamant her child had asthma i have two asthmatic children and an asthmatic father i "know" the cough the dr refused to listen to her i said send your husband in he came away with inhalers.....months of back and forth its a cold its hay-fever its nothing and dad had to take time off work to say the exact same thing and inhaler immediately

You could, but you would be awarded absolutely nothing without evidence from professionals.