Could my friend have munchausens?

[Anonnymouse124]

I have a friend with two children and they have both been diagnosed with autism. A mutual friend is convinced she’s manipulating the system to get attention and benefits as she had paid for private doctor appointments. I thought this was the most disgusting accusation so am trying to work out what I am missing. Is it even possible for this to happen?

You don’t get money for an autism diagnosis!!!!! Any help is based on need and the bar is high.

I’m well aware of the Coventry grid, we use it often in my work.

I paid privately for my daughter’s autism assessment, none of it was online. Three appointments, in person, with a final appointment with me to go through her/our history.

You are factually incorrect.

I think it's a great shame the category of Asperger's was abolished. (Incidentally I am Jewish, and don't think that airbrushing Asperger out of history does anything to deal with anti-Semitism which is very much in the ascendant again.) I accept that 'high functioning' has its own problems as people who function very well in some ways are hopeless.

But I have another relative who fits the old Aspergers definition very well. He can be rather literal. He is disorganised. He can focus intensely on particular interests. He tends to monologue a lot. His thinking tends towards the black and white. It's a real struggle for him to accept alternative points of view and doing this can take him a lot of time, with outbreaks of frustration along the way.

I think anyone who is in his immediate circle needs to understand that he is wired a little differently, and that getting the best out of him sometimes requires a bit more understanding. But this is really much more like the sorts of 'making allowances' that we do for everyone. It is worlds away from the challenges of supporting the 6 year old - that I talked about higher up the thread.

I can see an adult lying to try and get diagnosed with something but not a child. Not convincingly enough. But some parents I'm sure do 'want' their kid to have something that makes them different. I think most people are just hoping to genuinely make their child's life easier though. And help them make the most out of life.

I’m not sure where you are but where I am you can get carers allowance, universal credit and disability allowance. It’s not always black and white but you certainly will be more likely to get these if you have a child with autism.

just to add I am not generalising and I know that the majority of people seeking these diagnosis’s will have these conditions but I’m just replying quite frankly to the concerns of OP and pointing out that sadly this does happen. Some of the things I have seen over the span of my career have been quite unbelievable and complex - nothing surprises me these days!

You don’t get universal credit for having a child with autism. You get the child element if you have children and meet the criteria regardless of whether the child is ND or not.

You can get the carers element of UC IF your child is in receipt of either middle rate or higher rate DLA.

DLA is incredibly difficult to get, it is not based on diagnosis but on care needs, and care needs must also be evidenced by professionals. It is a long, arduous process.

Nobody is getting additional money just because their child is ND.

Does she?

A few things

• 2 children diagnosed with autism in the same family is nowhere near unusual. Actually you even have whole families who are ND, including the parents. Would your friend also think it’s all fabricated?
• Going private for ann autism assessment is pretty normal these days due to the lengthy wait with CAMHS. And under the ‘Right to chose’, you often don’t even have to pay.
• Note also the use of an illness (Munchausen) when she is actually jumping on the bandwagon ‘too many people diagnosed. Theyre not autistic just badly behaved/badly parented’

Unless that ‘friend’ knows the children VERY well, has seen them at home and can say what is bothering her (not just mum I wants more attention), then is take that with a (huge) punched of salt abd give her a wide berth,

Interesting that you seem to be drawn towards diagnosing somebody with Munchausen syndrome from observations, but hunches rather than convincing evidence. You may feel uncomfortable about her actions, and the validity of the process that her children have gone through, but there is probably more to it than she feels ok to spill out to your or other friend.

And where you are, disability allowance (DLA) will be given based on NEEDS, not a diagnosis. Same with carer allowance (which is nothing, let’s remeber that too)
I don’t know anyone who is pursuing an autism diagnosis for those.

Parents who are looking fur a diagnosis do so because tge child has issues at school,agd tgey need support. All of which will be visible to the teachers because, once again, HEPC, support etc…is implemented based on needs, not a diagnosis

Does anyone who pays for a diagnosis of special needs ever not get it? I have never heard of anyone being told no, they don't have autism or other condition from a private referral. The biggest con of all is Irlens!

Which isn’t surprising seeing how judgemental the friend (and OP) are

@BadBadCat thats probably because people who are paying fur private won’t do it unless they’re sure theur chikd is ND.
Its not cheap!!

As fur not hearing about those who were told No.
Do you really think
1- when it’s NHS, they can’t make mistakes either
2- because you haven’t heard about such cases, they they dint exist
3- PROFESIONALS who diagnose children (or adults) like this would be ready to put themselves in a place where their professionalism will be put into question?

My nephew.

While they could see traits, the criteria for diagnosis wasn’t met. Private companies have to use the same assessment and diagnostic tools as the NHS, and be diagnosed by the same level of medical professional. It wouldn’t be worth their career to falsely diagnose.

I would imagine that by the time parents pursue a diagnosis they’re already pretty certain. Who is going to pay out thousands of pounds and put their child through an assessment process otherwise?

I presume you have reported him to the GMC to be investigated?

Think about why this might be.

If you thought you had a medical condition, and the NHS GP was refusing to diagnose it, would you jump straight to paying ££££ to have a private consultation even though you weren’t at all sure? Or, would you keep going with NHS to try and get it resolved until it was absolutely bloody obvious you had a condition and only then pay privately for the diagnosis?

If you’re going to judge your friend, at least use the correct terms.

Munchausens

Sorry, is it even possible to fake? Surely teachers would see. Also, how much is a private appointment? Where my sister works, it is £240 per appointment on average. So, say it takes £1200 and five appointments to issue an official diagnosis. So are you saying that a private psychiatrist would risk his or her career, i.e. being struck off from the BMA Register if it is discovered that the diagnosis it not real? For £1200 before tax? Seriously?

Current assessments tend to refer to level 1, 2 or 3 autism. It's possible to differentiate without using the term high functioning, or Asperger's.

What many people don't realise about people with autism who 'just need a bit of understanding' is how much the individual is usually hiding their struggles, or how much mental work it takes to get through the day. Just because someone isn't kicking off and throwing tables doesn't mean they're 'fine'.

The clinicians that I know won't offer an assessment unless the pre assessment screening processes indicate that it's likely. To assess, you're putting a child through a process and professional ethics requires that you only do that if there's an indication of need.

I have known children be assessed for ND and be told no, but referred on to another specialist, eg to consider PTSD or FASD. Generally though if they don't have needs they're not going to get an assessment session whether they're willing to pay or not.

Well I personally wouldn't waste money on getting assessed for something if there's a 99% chance I didn't have it

You and your gossipy friends need to take the finger out of your arse and stop judging your friends on an issue you have no understanding, and couldn't give a shit about.

Many parents with kids on the spectrum KNOW something is wrong LONG before a diagnosis. Even with a diagnosis it can take years to understand where they fall on the autistic spectrum, the functioning levels and impact on their lives as adultd.

I find unbelivable you'll mention Mounchansens (an incrdibly damaged mental disorder) because a "friend" is gossiping to you about it.

You have intrernet. There are hundreds of scholar reports on autism if you want to undersand. If you don't want to put the time to understand autism, at least stop being a shitty friend,

Sigh
It goes off need not diagnosis
In terms of DLA you need robust evidence not just a quick mum says note off the GP like many posters beleive.

It's not incredibly difficult if you fabricate and massively exaggerate things, it's difficult for those who tell the full truth but if you're prepared to lie then it's not that difficult. I know this because I know of two separate people who've done just that, they even brag about it.

Can you friend tell me about all the amazing benefits that come with a child's autism diagnosis? Cos I get naff all.

People will go to lengths you wouldn't believe to lie and force their way into getting these benefits.