AIBU to turn down Australia job offer because son has started A levels?

[FergussSingsTheBlues]

My husband has been offered a job in Australia. Neither is us can find full time work in the uk and we know we’ll need to sell our house in two years if this carries on. We are relieved to say the least. We’ve both lived abroad plenty so it’s something we know we can deal with.

The problem is my eldest son has literally last week just started a levels.
There are zero schools or colleges that do a levels where we would be going, it’s all IB.

Boarding won’t be an option or living apart, we’re a very close family and would find that traumatic.

Has anybody else been in this position? I don’t see how we can make this work because of education and think we’ll have to turn it down. (We know he’d be allowed domestic fees for university but I don’t know further information). My son is bright and hardworking and we don’t want to wreck his prospects

It's 3 subjects at Higher Level, and also 3 subjects at Standard Level.

Maths, English, 1 language (can be beginner), 1 science, 1 humanity, and 1 arts (though in lieu of arts students can take a second science or humanity).

The marking system is out of 45, and the highest mark achievable in each subject is 7 (so, maximum of 42 pts). The remaining 3 pts come from a Theory of Knowledge (TOK) class + an Extended Essay that relates to one of the Higher Level subjects.

DH takes the job, you two stay for the few months with a trip out. DH sorts out setting up a home. DS looks at options for further education in Oz, or takes time off to work in Oz and get to know the place before deciding if he wants to study there or Uk.

it’s exciting and better than selling your house and not being able to afford uni.

we would be moving end summer 2027. He’s very academically independent and driven.

Some sixth form in England apparently do AS levels - is that an option so he's studying for a qualifciation this year? Then start IB in Aus?

TBH though I'd send the one with the job ahead - sort things there get settled and let him do the 9 months of second year of A-levels here. I think the problem then if he's doing Uni in UK then - as you'll be other side of the world.

I think this really.

Someone needs to get a job to support the family.

Is it A levels or AS Levels? I do think it's important for his future for him to complete A levels, could your husband negotiate flights every 2 months back. I would try to keep him in school if it's just one year of exams left

Have you floated the idea with him and seen if maybe he would be keen/excited?

My Dad moved for work when I was half way through my a-levels, different country but not as far as Oz. This was nearly 30 years ago when phone calls cost more and we were only just getting (dial up) internet. Video calls were sci fi then.

We opted to stay in England until exams finished and my Dad lived away for a while. The rest of the family joined at the end of the school year, except me as I merrily went of to uni. It wasn’t ideal but it worked, and it was really such a short period of time. It was harder for my mum than for me by far.

Your close knit little group of three will be significantly changing over the next two years as your son becomes an adult. Be wary of planning around the family dynamic you have now, rather than the one that is coming.

If you’ve been trying for years to find work, is it really an option not to take this job?

@FergussSingsTheBlues Is your son in his first year of A levels? Why not have him complete the Australian curriculum? It won't stop him from getting into university

What about International online A levels?

Don't write off the IB. It's different obviously but a capable student will excel in either. The life experience will also make him stand out when interviewing. Honestly, I think this will really help him rather than hold him back, so if he's the only reason you're wavering, grab it!

Yes, unless your husband's contract is fixed term or temporary your son is likely to be paying international fees at a UK university.

No way would my kids have wanted to leave at this stage. They would have been psyched up about doing their A-levels and then going off to University in the UK. They would not want to leave their friends. Does your son really not mind?

What an amazing opportunity for you all! Moving to a new country and gaining all those experiences will never be a waste of time. Education is not a race - he doesn't have to graduate from university at the same time as everyone else his age or else it's over for him.

IB is internationally recognized as the gold standard in education. There's no way his prospects could be ruined by doing the IB; quite the opposite. The Australian system is also well-esteemed.

Being financially insecure, otoh, could set your son back.

I moved from Canada to the UK at his age, switched from Canadian system to A-levels, and flourished. (I went to boarding school as well and had a fabulous time!). If he's bright and hardworking there is not much to worry about.
Edited to add: and I was super-keen to make the change.

I haven’t read the entire thread and not sure whereabouts in Australia you would be living but no assume if you leave UK before the end of the year, DS could then start year 11 at the beginning of the school year in Australia. Is there a reason you would want him to do IB rather than the standard local curriculum eg VCE in Victoria?

My main concern for a late teen would be the upheaval at that point in their education, leaving their friends etc, but if they are happy from that perspective I would not be too concerned about the different educational systems. The be advantage in Australia is that the final two years of school are still quite broad - maths and English are generally required, plus 3-4 additional subjects. First year degree courses can be very broad and flexible too. Children in the UK have generally had a bit longer in school compared to their AU counterparts (depending on where their birthday falls).

I also tend to think that nothing is wasted and their are lots of pathways and opportunities if a bit of adjustment time is needed.

Good luck, it is a big move but it sounds like it could be right for your family.

If you wouldn't be moving until summer 2027 either DH goes on his own until DS finishes his A levels (May/June 2028) or try to find somewhere local offering the IB and move DS onto that now.

Sorry that's a very simplistic view. Totally ignoring the impact such a move at such a time could have on him as a person. He could be really messed up by it (my friend's son was, who was also taken out of the UK at 16, to Aus actually. Took him 10 years to get back to his old self.).We've lived in several different countries, we took our children when they were smaller, what an experience for them. But I'd never do it now in the middle of secondary school / A Levels.

The easier compromise is that dad goes now and ensures he has flights to and from for all of them on a regular basis. Mum joins him when kid goes to uni (no foreign / international student fees required, bonus).

IF your son came with you to Oz, and studied there, would he be regarded as an international student IF he then wanted to go to university in UK? In Oz?

Personally I would do whatever I could to enable the move to Oz (including staying in UK with DS) but I wanted to raise another issue to think about.

I had the same problem with my DD many years ago, after she got into one of the best state schools in the country, not UK. Fortunately, a recently married niece took over our accommodation for the period. The office paid all the half term school holiday flights to China, she flew by herself, they also paid for the taxi to and from the airport. She managed to get excellent marks at the BAC but she was and still is determined person, 30 years on.

Once your son is a legal adult might it have implications on whether he can move with you as part of the family?

Op I think you're letting your past trauma haunt you. Speak to your son, you're not 'shoving' him in boarding school. Discuss all options with him and see where you end up. He may be fine with boarding, fine doing online, fine finding something in Australia, he might not be either. You won't know until you have a chat with him. Have the chat as a family n start from there.

Why can't he continue his education there?
Im just back from an extended trip to Australia I would move there in a shot if I could (too old unfortunately)

no one is asking you to separate! Just live in different countries for a short few months.

You are being ridiculous, even "close family" can spend a few weeks/ months apart! You cannot be that dependent on another adult, it's not healthy.

I think your husband should take the job. There are very, very few opportunities for 50+ recruitment at the moment in the UK. It's the worse for nearly twenty years.
I have friends that have been out of work for two years. Ex blue chip.
Fwiw I'm c-suite. I got offered a Denmark based job when my son was a baby. Huge mistake by turning it down. I lost out in the MBO. Later when my daughter was about to do A levels I was offered a African based role. I accepted but COVID hit. She was to have her IB paid for at a international school. Is that an option @FergussSingsTheBlues ? She's reserved but was thrilled by the idea.

What package has he been offered?

I think your husband should accept the job offer and you stay behind with son. It will probably take about a year to get the VISA and by that time your soon will only have one year left. Your husband could sort your accommodation out and get a taste of Aussie life. Hopefully you can all join after his last year of a levels but it would be interesting to hear your son’s take it on.

The school year in Australia starts in January. He’ll be fine. Get your husband to go ahead of you, register your son for schools and follow at Christmas. That way your husband has some time to know the job will work.