AIBU to turn down Australia job offer because son has started A levels?

[FergussSingsTheBlues]

My husband has been offered a job in Australia. Neither is us can find full time work in the uk and we know we’ll need to sell our house in two years if this carries on. We are relieved to say the least. We’ve both lived abroad plenty so it’s something we know we can deal with.

The problem is my eldest son has literally last week just started a levels.
There are zero schools or colleges that do a levels where we would be going, it’s all IB.

Boarding won’t be an option or living apart, we’re a very close family and would find that traumatic.

Has anybody else been in this position? I don’t see how we can make this work because of education and think we’ll have to turn it down. (We know he’d be allowed domestic fees for university but I don’t know further information). My son is bright and hardworking and we don’t want to wreck his prospects

Australia? No way. It’s not practical

“He could be really messed up by it (my friend's son was, who was also taken out of the UK at 16, to Aus actually. Took him 10 years to get back to his old self.)”

That is rather unusual - what is there to get over from? And took 10 years?! He wasn’t in jail!

I moved from Croatia to the UK at 15; tough but it was an alazing experience. I then moved to Australia when I was 27 - again, amazing experience. I feel truly lucky that I was given these chances to move around. It has been a bit tough at times - but it has also been incredibly adventurous and fun. That’s what life is about.

I now have 3 passports and a high flying career.

OP’s son will be absolutely fine. No language barrier, no culture barrier. Go.

@CoventryCity

Have you both been unemployed for 2 years?

Extremely close families can & do live apart so there’s no reason that if you’re determined your son does A-levels, that you stay with him & your DH goes to Australia alone - it’s only for a short period of time.

Would you be planning to remain there permanently? If not, your best options would be either for OH to go alone, or you all to go but DS to do his A levels on line.
If you are planning stay permanently, does it really matter what type of qualifications he has? Surely he would just study whatever they study over there and that’s what uni and employers over there would be looking for.

Not enough information, do you even want to emigrate? Are there genuinely no employment opportunities, even if it means selling your home, renting and working lower grade jobs until your son finishes his education. Unless relocating has always been part of the life plan and its just come earlier than you would have liked

Can one stay and one go? Is there anyway for him trf to equivalent studies? Is it really that impossible for you both to find work in Australia?

What made your DH apply for a job in Australia in the first place if this was going to be a big issue?

If you would be moving at the end of Summer 27 then that is about a year away and I would say definitely go for it. Your son will be finished A levels in May/June 28 so your husband could go ahead and you would only be 8/9 months behind. Then your son wouldn't have any issues about uni fees if he wants to go to uni in the UK

Assuming he is in year 12 I’d go. He’s barely started. Get there for term to start in Jan. if it’s year 13 send your husband ahead, and move yourself in June.

I think if OP had clarified at the start that the move would be August 2027 and DS takes exams May 2028, then everyone would be agreeing with this post. It's just obvious in this case that DH should go on his own. This would also confirm the job/location/package are all ok before uprooting your son.

There's nothing wrong with IB (it's harder, more subjects and all exams at the end not in 2 parts, get to experience essay writing that preps you well for uni and volunteering). It sells you much better for uni and is much more rounded

I got forced into IB as the grammar school I went to for 6th form only allowed you to sit a-levels if they deemed you "too stupid" to do IB (about 4 people in the year

It isn't ideal for applying to medical schools as the universities don't understand it do used to set impossible ucas targets of like 8 a* equivalent, when the alevel ucas was AAA

But was v fair for non-medicine subjects and great for those who were undecided as to careers as you still to English maths science language humanity and free choice

Learning is never "wasted". If he re-starts, on the IB, taking the same subjects at higher level, that will give him a leg up on those. Combined with being "incredibly bright" he will have a relatively easy first year on the IB academically, which is just what he would need in order to spend time finding his feet and making friends. Talk to him about it that way.

The only thing that would make me hesitate slightly would be Australian climate change issues. Other than that I would be packing my bags now. We have awful work/life balance in this country. If you can afford a nice house, pool etc, do it!

How much have your A-levels mattered in your life? Is it more or less than the experience of living in a new country? He's just started so the sunk cost is low. You have no work here. I'd absolutely move. I can't believe you're thinking twice.

A lot of posters skimming over a 16/17 year old spending a year studying for exams he won’t sit, listening to his peers going to university open days & planning their futures, as some kind of jolly exercise.

I’d move; incredible experience and he will find losing his home a lot more disruptive.

@FergussSingsTheBlues why 2 years unemployed? Is it a very niche occupation?

No year is wasted unless you waste it op.

I don't want to sound critical (and am genuinely wanting to be supportive), but the biggest problem you are facing seems to me to be a bit of a failure to lift your eyes above the horizon and think outside the box. You don't have to tread the path most followed just because that's all you have thought about until now. I know it's natural to have expectations and there can be an adjustment period while you open your mind a bit. You have fantastic opportunities here!

There is really no reason to feel he needs A levels just because that is what you were expecting. The IB is a fantastic qualification, and I know quite a few very bright UK students who are now looking to apply to the top Australian universities as a shake-up continues here on intakes. He might well get a far better offer there in real terms.

I was at a very prestigious UK university and can honestly say the Aussie international students there were among the best and brightest: their education system is pretty rigorous and they were sort of unblinkered in the way they think. A levels is actually quite a narrowly-focused leaver's qualification.

He can use the time of cross-over in so many ways that would give him a point of difference. Approach this with optimism and like a fighter! Take him with you: it's a huge opportunity and his CV will look fresh and distinctive, quite apart from the benefits of a change of scene and perspective.

Completely agree!

It sounds like OP hasn't even told her son about this yet, his reaction is the most important thing.

Hi OP,

So I think you need to look into the visa and schooling options in more detail. Right now it sounds like you are eager to go but worried about your son and putting his welfare first (rightly so).

But it comes across that your looking at all the negative points for your son and not the positive. So as one poster put it, even if he did have to restart and do an IB he might have leg up from doing his a levels for a year. Or are their International schools that do A-levels?

Also if this maybe a permanent move for you and your dh it may be a lot easier if your son moves with you as minor for visa reasons and may open an easier pathway for permeant residency for your son giving him literally a whole other continent of opportunity. I don't know the visa rules but this is something I would definitely look into.

And even if these are not options I do think what other posters say that you dh could move first you would only be separated for about 10 months, which though I understand would be an upheaval the fact that you are both living of redundancy and savings is also not a long term plan.

So quite long post sorry, but do look at visa and schooling options more and also look at the positives points for your family too.

And lots of students make a shift to a local sixth form college for sixth form anyway. It is just his new school will be rather more miles away ... Australia will bring fresh experiences and perspectives, but it isn't so foreign that he will struggle culturally or with the language. I don't think it will be appreciably harder for him to make new friends than if he were to transfer to a new Sixth Form college in the UK - which plenty do every year.

we would be moving end summer 2027

I missed this bit! He’ll have finished his A levels in the middle of June 2028. You’d be talking about a time period of less than 9 months when you’d be apart (and presumably either you or your DH could do a trip over the Christmas holidays). Surely he can finish his A levels here and apply for higher education in Australia? The “all of us or none of us”
seems extreme when you’re talking about months apart.

But your son's view is an important piece in the puzzle here OP.

You need to involve him.

Australian school year starts Jan/Feb so your son could start IB then at a school in Oz (or Oz equivalent of A levels).