AIBU to turn down Australia job offer because son has started A levels?

[FergussSingsTheBlues]

My husband has been offered a job in Australia. Neither is us can find full time work in the uk and we know we’ll need to sell our house in two years if this carries on. We are relieved to say the least. We’ve both lived abroad plenty so it’s something we know we can deal with.

The problem is my eldest son has literally last week just started a levels.
There are zero schools or colleges that do a levels where we would be going, it’s all IB.

Boarding won’t be an option or living apart, we’re a very close family and would find that traumatic.

Has anybody else been in this position? I don’t see how we can make this work because of education and think we’ll have to turn it down. (We know he’d be allowed domestic fees for university but I don’t know further information). My son is bright and hardworking and we don’t want to wreck his prospects

Will your son not need his own visa if he wants until he's finished A levels?
Personally. I'd make the move.

Ex teacher

I have taught both a levels and the IB.

many students are very successful with the IB. It’s not as well known in the U.K. but it’s based on the baccalaureate system that pretty much everyone on France or other European countries do.

this is a natural switch point and as others have said the Australian system starts the new academic year around Christmas which would give you time to get out there and a bit settled.

A levels are only 20 months. The job probably won't start immediately so you'd be apart for significantly less than that.

I think he should take the job, with regular visits home negotiated as per PP, and you should plan for an amazing extended summer in Oz all together from June 2027.

If you want more info on the IB then that’s easy to get. Maths and home language (English in his case) are compulsory and then there is a series of options.

some of the options are from the beginning (eg he can take up a new language if he’d like) some are continuations (eg physics, chemistry).

it’s a good preparation for university.

you choose three subjects to do at higher level and four at standard.

standard is less than an a level higher roughly the same.

I would say you and DH not having jobs and potentially losing your home would be way more traumatic than you all going to Australia and your son studying Australian Highers or IB.

Two years unemployed and in danger of your home being repossessed is the most important concern. You could sell the house or rent it . New start in Australia could be a positive thing for everyone. Speak to your son immediately he may surprise you with his opinion. Lots of people have to change their circumstances for financial reasons . It doesn't always have to be traumatic.

If move wouldn’t be until summer 27 at earliest he’s only got 9 months to go. I’d seriously consider sending husband ahead and you joining when son leaves school May or June 28.

You don’t have to answer but how do you get offered a job I Australia when you live here? Did you dh actively apply for that and does he have all the necessary papers to move and work there?

What a great opportunity. Dont turn it down. Your son is young and will soon catch up with the Australian ways. Given the opportunity I would be off there like a ahot

australian term starts in January does it not? Go to australia, give your son a few months off to see australia and start his IB in January.

I don't see how it wastes a year. He presummably had fun and learned stuff. Some people went to pre-IB (like me) and some went straight to IB. I didn't see it as a waste of time.

If you are going to move you need to do it sooner not later, otherwise it will really screw up his exam years.

Also confused as it would only be nine months until you son finishes exams (sept to may) for a levels? Why don’t you just live apart from your husband and then move out.

I personally wouldn't want to split up the family and would make the move all of you together. I keep telling my kids that life's a marathon, not a sprint. A year here or there is not as important as the bigger picture. It would be good to discuss the prospects of getting into an Australian university, what your son would like to do in general with his life (leaning science or arts etc) and what the prospects are over there for his preferred path. Also, is the job likely to lead to a permanent move or not? 18 post A levels is still very very young. Maybe your son would like to be closer to his parents long term. What does your extended social network look like in the UK? Is it better to keep it alive or just start completely afresh?... I'd say it's about a lot more than the A Levels, they'd be the least of my worries actually.

Isn’t the Oz school year Jan-Dec so if he’s up for it he can start Y12 without losing any time?

I agree what he wants will dictate matters quite significantly but I wouldn’t rule it out without testing it with him. Some kids can be very adaptable and it sounds like an amazing adventure for a close family to enjoy together.

we aren’t in a great place in the UK right now with our economy and other structural issues and I see no reason why this is going to get better anytime soon. I regret not making a move while younger.

The IB is a great qualification and this is a good point to move. However only if your DS is open minded about a new education system and a new country.
If he's going to be pining for 3 subjects and the rain and his friends, it won't work.

I would check fee implications for university, though if you’re going to lose your home that’s a second order concern. If he’s living out of the UK for too long he may have to pay international fees here. If he's not resident in Australia for long enough before university he may not be eligible for home fees there.

Why don’t you look to move him onto IB now? Does he school offer it? My sixth form (not private did)

That way he’s not wasted a year

I don't think this year is 'wasted' as such. He will have learnt a lot about how to study independently and built a foundation of knowledge in the subjects he is studying, which might help him in whatever he does next so he might be ahead a little in terms of knowledge and understanding. I think you need to talk it through as a family and make decisions from there. A job offer is obviously something to seriously consider - I am also out of work following redundancy and it's so hard! Weighing up every pro and con is important and it might be that he's up for it and would thrive at the change.

Just send DH ahead and you follow after A levels? Is he the only earner?

There were a lot more points I made in there for you to consider! I’m glad you are excited at the idea of going as well, and apologies that I got the wrong impression. If you haven’t been working and haven’t been claiming benefits, it may be worth looking into whether you can or should be claiming. Having survived for 2 years on a redundancy payment is surprising. It must have been a massive payout suggesting one of you was on an extremely high salary and/or had worked there for a very long time. Or were you both made redundant? 3 years is an incredibly long time to be job hunting and find nothing - I’m really sorry that you’ve found yourselves in that position. I’m guessing the person with the higher salary was in quite a niche role that doesn’t transfer easily to other jobs? Was one of you previously a SAHP?

if you choose to stay, could you both look for part time work, or much lower salaried full time work? It might help you in the short term without risk to your house?

I know “apart” sounds daunting, but in reality, it won’t be for that long. Your DH won’t be expected to start immediately - perhaps he can negotiate a January start? Will need time to sort out visas etc. You can spend the whole summer holidays as a family in Australia and your DH can use his annual leave to come home at Christmas. Then your DS will be heavily into A levels, but those finish mid June and you’ll be able to move there full time. At a push, you could manage some Easter trips as well, maybe? I’d just muddle through for what, in reality, will only be 18 months. Ideal? No. Doable? Yes.

I would definitely talk it through with the whole family. I did the equivalent of the IB in a European country growing up and personally, I think it is the better option over A-levels. Our eldest is moving on to a secondary that offers the IB and we're really glad it does, it gives them better options to study internationally and in my opinion a more rounded overall education.

And whilst I understand your son's sense that this year may have been wasted, I don't think any education is ever wasted! It will have still taught him something in addition to the topical learning, i.e. how to prepare study guides, plan your work etc.

Exactly this! Let him finish off his A levels.

When would the job begin? If after Christmas your son would be starting the new school year in Australia at the same time as his peers - perfect! The IB is a fantastic qualification and depending on what subjects he has chosen for A Levels he can almost certainly study them, plus a few more :)

we would be moving end summer 2027.

If A levels are 2 years, then he’d have already done a year of it?

So why doesn’t DH move at the end of summer 2027 and then you and DS move over a few months later when he finishes.

It’ll only be about 9 months and DH can come back for Xmas instead of buying Xmas presents.

You will hopefully be able to get some shop work or something in the meantime.

You could also put the house on the market and massively downsize etc

DS can choose to then go with you or it’s here and go uni in the UK (I’d probably encourage him coming over for a year and working and then he can always come back)