AIBU not inviting my prankster brother to protect my fiancée's wedding day

[OneSereneBiscuit]

I am marrying the love of my life "Amanda" in a few months . We have a beautiful two year old son and a great life together. unfortunately she suffers from an anxiety disorder. She does see a therapist, but it is still something she has to manage on a daily basis, and wedding planning has been very hard for her emotionally.
I have an older brother "Jason" who is pretty famous for playing pranks that most people would consider over the line. For a few examples...

• tying a friend up and giving him a horrible spray tan
• setting his best friend up on a fake date and smashing pie all over her face as she waited thinking she got stood up
• filling a kids pool up with ice water inside the house and rolling his wife off the couch while she was sleeping

I'm just giving some context that his pranks are always over the top and would be a dealbreaker for most people. However he only does them to people he likes. We aren't very close and he has hardly interacted with Amanda at all. I really don't think he would pull a prank at the wedding, but she told me it is something she is extremely anxious about. Here is the thing, she has to manage her anxiety every day of her life and I want her wedding day to be perfect and as stress free as I can make it, so I decided not to invite Jason. This has really upset my parents. I've never seen them so furious. They are calling me a bad son, bad brother, saying I'm not a man. They feel we are "tearing apart the family" As for Jason I don't know if he even cares. He hasn't said anything one way or the other, but apparently his wife was telling people I'm just jealous of his money and his looks and don't want to be "shown up" She then made a nasty comment about Amanda's looks which solidified for me I made the right decision

Why don’t you invite him and then tie him somewhere up as a ‘joke’so he misses the entire wedding?

Jason's a dick, of course he shouldnt be invited

So what do you want from this thread???

It's your perogative to invite who you want to the wedding and it's obvious you don't even have a relationship with your brother who you say doesn't love you so I really don't get the point of the back and forth here.

Prioritize your fiancee because from what I've read you family is toxic and weird so I don't really see anything worth saving with them.

I wouldn't, but I also wouldn't invite him without her as he would lose his mind. I can't totally blame him. I wouldn't go to a wedding my fiancee wasn't welcome at

Sime things to consider:

• You don’t believe your brother will prank anyone at the wedding
• Amanda is anxious about this and you have chosen to exclude your own brother to appease her even when you are sure he won’t mess up.
• Your parents are outraged
• Your SIL is outraged too and has offended you in return.

There is nothing you can do to correct this, if you invite them, they will probably will not go and if they go they will be resentful and possibly more motivated to prank you at the wedding. And you both would also be stressed wondering what they may be up to.

I think however that Amanda’s need to exclude family from the wedding for reassurance will pay back for many years to come: They all now think that she is an unreasonable anxious woman that they better avoid not to risk her getting upset by her own anxiety rather than their actions toward her. They no longer like her. There’s no going back, she will not have to worry about unlikely pranks on the day even if it has costed you both the relationship with your family.

Find a hobby ☺️

I think Jason did, but assault isn't what I would call an enriching hobby.

Knowing human nature he'd be more likely to prank your wedding if he wasn't invited.

This comes off as rage bait. It sounds very fake.

Pranksters are a curse. I don’t suffer from anxiety, but if I was organising any kind of event, let alone a wedding, I would not invite someone who would deliberately upset other guests.

DH and I had one at our wedding after I had spent weeks organising tables trying to ensure that everyone was sat with people whose company they would enjoy.

The prankster shuffled up the place names, so that old friends with children who loved each other were sat on opposite sides of the room, a deaf elderly relative was among total strangers, a group of ex-colleagues who’d been looking forward to a reunion were scattered apart, etc.
Everyone was polite and coped, but it reduced a lot of people’s enjoyment.

”Jason” has forfeited his right to expect to be invited.

Changing 'notorious' to 'famous' doesn't change the fact that this is still AI generated bullshit.

And we already had this one last week in any case.

He needs to grow the fuck up. He sounds like a fool. I wouldn’t invite him either if I thought he couldn’t resist a prank.
Is he really that dumb that he cannot be trusted to behave at a wedding? I would have at least discussed it with him.