AIBU to allow teen DD to swear at home?

[PyongyangKipperbang]

My mother is appalled by this. It came about when DD4 (15) came home in a mood about something at school, I was on the phone with my mother and sister. She said "Mr X said we cant use Y room at lunch any more for health and safety, which is bullshit, he just can't be arsed being in there".

I made sympathetic noises, she went up to her room.

Mother is disgusted that I "allow" this. DD has no younger siblings, and all her older siblings were allowed the same as long as they didnt do it in front of their not-at-senior-school younger sibs.

I just think that they are all swearing like dockers at school so what is the point in pretending they dont? I swear a lot, especially when driving, so it would be very hypocritical of me to censor her. Obviously, she knows where and when it s appropriate and never swears in front of her Grandma.

We’ve always allowed our kids to swear - it is just language after all 🤷🏻‍♀️ The key is appropriateness.

Never ‘at’ anyone, never in anger, or in professional/formal situations.

As long as they know how to behave in polite and civil situations, what’s the problem?

So am I, and I am sorry that you were unable to learn the difference between "saying it how I see it" and offensive. Your local college may be able to help.

Yes, but probably not in an English one. See if Google will help you.

I am allowed to have an option on people's behaviour. If people don't want to be called chavs don't behave like them.

Not sure how my local college could help. Unless of course to try and put left wing woke views into me.

Your mother actually sounds horrific OP. Bona fide abusive childhood and now nasty and judgemental.

@IronEverything but you do swear, yes?

Because "he was horrible" doesn't have the impact of "he was a complete bellend".

Context is everything, as with so much else in life. Swearing, when appropriate, is colourful and a great way to emphasise what you feel. It can be very funny and a bit of a bonding experience. A group of colleagues who have just been turned over by a horrible boss exhaling together and going "what an absolute wanker" is hugely cathartic.

If over-used, it is aggressive and coarsening. A bunch of kids hanging out on street corners calling all comers "cunts" is horrible.

But as someone else said upthread, the key is to teach children to read a room on when swearing is appropriate or not. Not to try to eliminate something which people have been doing for millenia and which is broadly harmless.

I'm also 'one of these working class people' and I wouldn't use the word 'chav' in a million years.

So what word do you use for the section of society with those traits then?

I am middle-aged and would still never use the 'f' word (and certainly not the c word) around my parents. It is just so disrespectful.

Never got the big deal, they're just words to express your feelings, swearing is really just part of everyday speech for a lot over here in Ireland, I would barely even notice 😂