Child sleeps on a mattress on the floor

[Ovenpizzasarerank]

Went for dinner and a playdate with my Ds new friend. Mum is very nice, child lovely. Ds called me upstairs to show me his friends lego building and his bed was a mattress on the floor, is this normal? Mum very bohemian, house very messy and not well looked after-I am not judging and these things don't bother me, my house needs painting and some new furniture, so I get it, but is a mattress as a bed ok?

It's not the absence of structure that's problematic but the absence of sheets and duvet. A simple mattress on the floor with nothing is unhygienic and sign of neglect.

I dont see a problem with it. A lot of adults do this.

But if you were doing this properly you'd have a slatted floor bed base. £80 in B&Q

A mattress really shouldnt be directly on the floor.

Do you ? It's been quite hot for a while and still gets pretty warm at night. Maybe he only uses the duvet when it's colder.

My DS (7) has a bunk bed,but still occasionally wets the bed,so I keep his old toddler bed mattress on standby, with clean waterproof and bottom sheets so that he does have an accident,I can give him a quick clean up and then get him back to sleep. Many a time,I've put him to bed and when I've gone to check on him,he's moved himself onto the mattress instead because he sometimes prefers it. And he quite often uses a fleecy blanket (similar to a throw) because he gets too hot at night,even in winter. So,IMHO,I don't think it's that concerning as long as there are no other red flags.

Well, I think a themed bedroom or some matching is a bit odd. I can’t quite picture what you mean. I’ve never seen a themed bedroom. Certainly my dc didn’t have them. And what do you mean by “ some matching”? Like a light shade in the same pattern as a duvet cover? That seems completely over the top. Never seen that, either.

It's very common isn't it? Both of mine had big mattresses so I could hop in with them and they wouldn't get hurt if they rolled out 🤷‍♀️

You obviously don't live in the real world, sorry ........

If you have no money just putting the mattress on pallets is a good idea, otherwise they do go mouldy

It's worth pointing out that many people world-wide sleep on futons right on the floor.

I just checked DD's mattress, having been made slightly paranoid by this thread, and there are no signs of mould there, although he's been floor sleeping for years, at his own request. We got rid of his bed after a year of him taking the mattress off to move it to the floor. He prefers a mattress on the floor, and we make sure he has suitable bedding, a desk, chair etc in his room. At 16, he's responsible for washing his own bedding, though, so it's not always as clean as I would prefer, but he's just done a big declutter/tidy/clean ready for the start of term so his room in in pretty decent shape at the moment.

My friend and her sister shared a double mattress in their house as teens. The house was immaculate and clean. Each week when they stripped sheets off the mattress was stood on its side for the day before turned over and remade .

I don't recall any mould issues

I slept on a mattress on the floor aged 12 to 18, I had the whole attic room to myself, we quite low ceilings and had two single mattresses on the floor in one corner. It was super cosy and I loved it! I did have a bed up there in another bit, but much preferred my mattress bit so slept there! My mates were always round as I had the best bedroom 🤣

This touches on a really interesting point, which has often struck me on MN and which I have also observed IRL.

There was a thread a while back discussing a home where the mother was a GP. The OP had visited and said the mum spent her spare time playing with the children on the outside play equipment etc, but all the time there were dirty plates in the sink and toys and games piled on the spare bed when she went to get in.

I know several mothers - and one in particular - who would consider herself a far superior mother to most because she has an absolutely immaculate home - immaculate to the point there is almost nothing in it, and, to be honest, not a house I could feel comfortable in, with its lack of interest, books, games and just general self-expression of some sort. There is a large and very expensive tv centre stage on one wall. Nothing comes out of a kitchen cupboard but that it is scooped up and whisked back in the minute it has been used. She seems constantly to be wiping the nearest surfaces (though, in all honesty, I sometimes think to myself I'd rather let the mess build a bit, then get a clean cloth and do the job once with a cloth designed for that specific purpose) so everything LOOKS clean (even if it was swiped at with the same cloth as she dabbed at a spot on the floor with). Under NO circumstances would her dc sleep on a mattress on the floor.

BUT at the same time, under no circumstances would guests be traipsing upstairs to be shown a model made by the dc when the bed wasn't immaculate - and in fact I'd give the model three days post construction of being allowed to remain disturbing the empty aesthetic before it was spirited off to the bin - and that's if such a messy activity was allowed in the house in the first place. Her dc have very, very few toys ("can't stand clutter" she'll say as if it tops her belief system), they have hardly any books and I know she seldom if ever reads to them, let alone plays with them.

Personally, it isn't my aesthetic to have bedding on the floor, and I love a freshly-made bed, but when I read this thread, it did occur to me that possibly that was far less the thing to be judging the "neglect" on than the fact the child had a model that the mum had taken enough interest in to suggest the dc has the input of people going up to see it.

MN can be a funny old world at times.

This describes the sort of childhood I'd call idyllic! Rich in fantasy and generally embracing the delight of chidlhood.

@Calliopespa

I quite agree

I would add the seeming inability to distinguish between a lack of cleanliness and being cluttered and untidy.
My home is often untidy, there are usually dishes in the sink. As a foster carer I have frequent social worker visits. Never had a problem. Because a bit of clutter doesn't mean its not clean.

It encourages mould growth on the mattress.

Only if it’s not properly aired. Like most things, really.

Well thats quite a modern thing, kids rooms having a 'theme' like its a playground or something

Its not my cup of tea but I know people tend to do that.

It’s not ideal, but it’s fine. My DH grew up like because they couldn’t afford a bed for him, he’s fine. But, do you have other concerns?

A proper childs bedroom I mean

How? Your sofa doesn't get mouldy ?

Maybe the bed frame broke and she hasn’t been able to replace it. I’d expect her to say that though when you went to look, so you knew and didn’t judge as you are here. I know it’s common in East Asian countries to sleep closer to the floor on futons but obviously not just a bed mattress on the floor… It’s the lack of sheet for me though, the thought makes me feel really ill.

The absence of a duvet is not a sign of anything, there was a throw on it.

The absence of a sheet may be a sign of something, but not if, like me, she's taken the sheets off and is putting a new sheet on later. My mattresses are currently sheetless because Im doing washing today and tomorrow. The beds that have no one on them will probably be renewed tomorrow. Our bed will hae the sheet put on later tonight when I get round to it.

Sheetless all day!!! Horrific

No I just mean for example you might see Spiderman covers and curtains/lampshade, books , toys, a desk, carpet/rug, just a comfortable, pleasant kids bedroom-is this not usual? Feel lke i'm going mad here