Child sleeps on a mattress on the floor

[Ovenpizzasarerank]

Went for dinner and a playdate with my Ds new friend. Mum is very nice, child lovely. Ds called me upstairs to show me his friends lego building and his bed was a mattress on the floor, is this normal? Mum very bohemian, house very messy and not well looked after-I am not judging and these things don't bother me, my house needs painting and some new furniture, so I get it, but is a mattress as a bed ok?

FFS it's very easy to tell if it's a good scenario or not, personally mattress on floor didn't suit my mother's opinion but worked for our family, no problem pretty sure there would be better red flags than this.

It sounds like neglect tbh especially if the house is unclean. A mattress isn’t the issue. The lack of any bedding is. Perhaps the mother is struggling to cope?

I have no idea about this situation, but it's definitely possible that he's a co-sleeper with a sort-of 'bed' in his room. A sort of transitional thing.

If not this, and it's his actual bed, then its not ideal, but I'm not sure I'd rush to judgement.

A mattress on the floor/floor bed lends itself to being a seating platform, cushioned play area, den, extension of floor area during the day. Taking the bed linens off during the day and covering with a throw as you do with a sofa suggests this is what is happening. A sign of greater not lesser care.

As for all those judgemental bleeps who expect their kids and their playmates to play on the floor, or clamber up and into night-time bed linens and duvet if they want cushioning, I'd say it's they who are less attentive to children's rhythms and needs i.e. more neglectful.

I can never find the matching pillowcases for my duvet covers, no idea how they disappear, so in good weather I'll wash and dry the bedding and put it back on the bed, same with my son's bedding.

The mattress on the floor wouldn't bother me, the lack of duvet sheet the summer we've just had wouldn't either - DS doesn't have his duvet back yet. The sheet, I'd just assume it was in the wash, or that the build sleeps like mine did and the sheet comes off every night.

A cluttered, untidy house would just make me feel better about my cluttered, untidy house - my son is autistic and has a number of collections and he is very resistant to most storage ideas, my priorities at the moment for him are education and personal hygiene, so I live with the clutter.

Well you are judging so please don't say you aren't. I would have noticed and judged too particularly when there wasn't a sheet on the mattress.

But - it wasn't a futon was it? That would fit with Bohemian style mum?

Yikes, that's really awful that he has no bottom sheet or duvet. All our mattresses have a matress protector under the bottom sheet as well.

We did this for ages due to cosleeping. Then got DD a floor bed so she wouldn't fall far. Then she ended up in our bed anyway. Now we are struggling to all three fit in the bed so I have a human dog bed on the floor next to the big bed which I sleep on, with the dog. Honestly I'm extremely happy and have always preferred the floor anyway, ever since I was a teen. Sometimes DD and I swap and she goes in with the dog. And sometimes the dog goes in the big bed as well and it's just me on the floor.

Montessori floor bed for independence?

It's perfectly all right.

I've seen this in various situations and you have to take the whole situation into context.

There was one house I went into which just gave me a totally awful feeling. It was dark and dingy (DS later told me his friend was not allowed to turn lights on as her parents worried about electricity costs) there was a strong smell of weed, although unclear if this was coming from that flat or the neighbours', but certainly chip fat, cigarette smoke and general unwashed dirty smell. Locks on some of the doors high up where children could not reach, clutter and things piled up everywhere, every single thing in the house was dirty including the walls, and the child's bed was a bare mattress on the floor and seemed to be shared between at least 2 children. All the toys were mixed up or broken or lost in piles of clothing and random boxes, so the children mainly played with screens. I felt like things were biting and crawling on me during the very short time I was in the house to drop off and collect DC, and subsequently kept playdates to our house because I didn't like DS going there and he felt uncomfortable there as well. This child was always going up to different parents after school and asking to go to their house so I think she also felt uncomfortable at home :/

DS' friend was later taken into care (I did not report my concerns - perhaps I should have) and so I think in that case, a mattress on the floor was part of a much wider picture where the parents were either completely overwhelmed and unable to centre the children's needs, or they chose not to centre the children's needs because of other priorities. I don't know which it was and it's not my place to say anyway. I also know it must have been difficult for them to manage all the belongings they needed for their large family in a small flat. But the care was inadequate in several ways, the sleeping arrangement was only one part and couldn't be singled out.

Obviously it shouldn't have to be so stark, and all children should have a good level of care. But I think generally if a child seems well cared for and the parent seems warm and loving then a lot can and should be overlooked. A mattress with no sheet is not ideal from a hygiene perspective, but I don't think it's ultimately harmful in itself. There are various legitimate reasons to choose a floor bed as already explained in the thread, and various temporary reasons that a child might be without a bed frame or bedding.

I wouldnt say its normal but I know people who are a bit bohemian who had kids mattresses on the floor... theu took floor bed to be exactly that.
My kids have floor beds, mattresses are slightly off the floor... I couldnt bring myself to not get them a mattress.

They are referring to a specific checklist where a social worker or other worker makes an observation on the whole house and various aspects add up to add "points" as a very rough indication of whether a family might be at risk of needing support or a more serious intervention. It is meant to be more objective than a social worker just making a gut instinct decision, which I think is sensible because gut instinct can often be tainted with prejudice, although obviously a check box exercise has issues of its own.

This is one version of that: https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/system/files?file=2024-05/Home-Conditions-Form-Word.pdf

It's probably more like the example I gave where there are multiple concerns for the child's welfare in the home condition, not just a couple of things which are less than ideal but the other aspects of care are adequate or better.

Ive slept on a mattress on the floor myself when I was a student living on a grotty council estate. What is good enough for me is good enough for a child.

She’s probably co sleeping with him in her bed most of the time. Yes even at 8 — and for a long time beyond, that’s fine. Or doing Montessori bed, which is a mattress on the floor.

I would consider this a concern. Perhaps she is co sleeping as people mention. Perhaps the sheets were in the wash. However, bed poverty is a genuine challenge for some families for various reasons and it might be something you want to mention to a safeguarding lead a school - assume the children go to school together?

Here is a link to a charity for child bed poverty which may help you understand if it’s a bigger issue you want to report?

zarach.org/spotting-the-signs/

Yes, a mattress on the floor is fine if it's lifted up and put on its side for most of the daylight hours, as otherwise mould will grow - as pp have said, air needs to circulate. I had two Korean friends when young whose parents slept on a western style mattress in the sitting room that leant against a wall during the day, and I've used a floor bed myself when co-sleeping with toddlers.

But given there's no mattress protector, sheets, or proper blankets/duvet, it's clear it's a situation of (mild?) neglect, not a deliberate choice.

If the child is otherwise well-looked after and happy, though, I don't think it's an issue.

Honest to God Ive never heard so many judgy comments about the lack of a bed frame which is basically a bit of cheap wood lifting a mattress up a short distance off the floor.
Here in Glastonbury there are families living in vans and sleeping on floors and social services dont seem to be bothered at all.

I dont see the issue. My neighbours dd sleeps on a floor mattress because she's a wriggly sleeper, even at age 10, and she kept hurting herself falling out of bed. Also, my dd slept on a mattress for a few months, as she broke the slats of her bed. I'm a single parent and couldn't afford a new bed (of decent quality) immediately, so she just slept on a mattress for a while.

My child wets bed every night- often twice a night. Won't wear pulls ups due his complex needs. I am constantly washing sheets and duvets. Most of the time if you turn up to my house, his bed has no bedding on. He always goes to sleep in a clean bed with clean sheets and duvet. It's exhausting. I guess if someone saw it with no background information they might think I'm not looking after my child well.

I think it fully depends on circumstances. My DCs slept on a couple of mattresses the last time we moved for about 3 weeks as we had zero furniture and was buying everything new. Fitted sheets didn’t fit so multiple flat sheets thrown down. DH slept with them while I slept on a cheap futon I was able to get delivery on move in day. All duvets and pillows had appropriate bedding.

The only person I’ve known that grew up sleeping like this lived with 2 hoarder parents, their home was vomit inducing. We were late teens when we met and she didn’t think anything of her lifestyle. When she moved in with her boyfriend she could not sleep in a normal bed. Her boyfriend could only stand a mattress on the floor so long.

i agree with others it’s not healthy. It’s different if it’s a bad on a floor with a base to allow ventilation, but also you have no idea how much the parents ventilate. If it’s temporary then I suppose it’s fine.

i grew up very very poor, a bed is a necessity even in the poorest families. Myself and my siblings slept in draws not baskets or cots until we went in beds. Both my parents were one of 10 surviving children, one side was 12 in a 1 bed flat, but they had a bed they shared, my grandparents slept on a sofa, same on the other side but they were lucky to have a 2 bed house. Funnily enough the friend who slept on a mattress in a horrible disgusting house was posh, posh school, posh parents who ate out 7 nights a week (I waited on them) and decent jobs, but zero hygiene skills of basic knowledge of parenting skills.

Our trick was to layer:

wet mattress protector
fitted sheet
wet mattress protector
fitted sheet
wet mattress protector
fitted sheet

ready made up pillow and duvet ready to go. Works for bed wetting and vomiting bugs. Our DCs are older now but we still keep a ready made up duvet and pillow for emergencies.

All you have to do is remove the wet stuff and not worry about making up the bed entirely. Ours are in bunk beds and made our life’s so much easier, especially in potty training and nursery bug days.

I slept on a bed on the floor at my flat while I was a uni. Worked fine, no problems.

We used to stick children up chimneys...

its 2026, the world has moved on, evolved etc, straw and bugs ffs

Loving all the how i survived on one packet of cheap noodles a day and slept on a mattress with a coat as a blanket comments, as if this scenario is acceptable for a child 🙄.
Christ alive 🫣.