I can’t find a job after being a SAHM

[GroovyMinx]

I gave up my full time career (dental nurse) after having my eldest who is 10. It’s not a job I would want to go back to, especially now I’m nearing 40.
I had a few cafe jobs since (I now have 2 children) but after having a MH breakdown in 2024 I haven’t worked at all.

Youngest DC starts school next week and I cannot find a job at all. I’ve had 4 interviews - all of which actually ghosted me after the interview even when saying they would let me know either way.

i feel so useless.

The job market is dreadful at the moment
what sort of roles are you going for? There’s a lot of competition so you’re going to have to be prepared for a bit of a slog

@rubyslippers I’ve tried a few things - retail, cafes, a care home activities co ordinator, no luck 😔 I don’t know if it’s cos I’ve got a gap in my CV, I live rurally and have school aged children so why would they choose me over someone younger who doesn’t have to know shifts in advance to organise school picks up etc 😔

Have at look at successful mums they run returners workshops some are online

successfulmums.co.uk/our-courses/

It's not about age, it's about risk. If there are 2 candidates; Candidate 1 has worked consistently for the last 5 years and is used to committing to getting up and going to work every day and Candidate 2 has dipped in and out of employment (no matter what the reason), regularly, you would always pick Candidate 1 unless Candidate 2 can offer something that meaningfully differentiates them. So that's your trick and what you need to work out, what makes you different/better than other candidates? Think about your skillsets and what you can offer. Also, look at roles which are notoriously difficult to recruit for (the care sector is one). It's tough and one of the many downsides to being a SAHM but keep going. You're getting interviews which is a really positive start, some don't even get over that hurdle. Good luck!

Also, make sure you explain clearly that you have cover for school pick ups etc. You're right about that, there are many roles that are not able to flex for early/late starts so don't let a potential employer worry about you being unreliable, knock it on the head from the offset stating that you have childcare in place.

Could you work from home? The Work From Home hub and Five Hour Club might be useful websites?
best of luck

You can ask for a post-interview feedback. Probably more difficult with cafe and retail jobs but would be absolutely standard for care sector and NHS. Then you will know.
With your background, I would look for health and social care jobs which often struggle for staff - hospital admin, GP receptionist, HCA, care worker etc.
I don't think your age is a barrier, I haven't had any difficulty with jobs and I am in my mid 40s. Have you considered that you may simply be seen as over-qualified for the jobs you are applying for? I am a Band 7 clinician and I wouldn't be even considered for a rehab assistant job because the employer will simply assume that I will get bored and leave the post. Or overstep professional boundaries of the role. Which is fair enough.
Having children shouldn't be a barrier because that would be shocking discrimination but if you have limited availability which doesn't work for your employer, they are absolutely allowed to chose a more flexible candidate. Gap in your CV can be problematic unless you have a good explanation for it.
Would you consider re-training?

I understand there are other issues at play here and you say you don't want to return to your previous career but approaching 40 is hardly old OP, why is that a factor?

Could you piggyback off of your previous experience and look for roles such as dental receptionist or Health Care Assistant? Something where the experience is directly desirable.

I appreciate it is really tough but you’re going to have to prepare yourself for applying for loads of jobs before you manage to get one.

We had 1,053 applications for two entry roles at my work this month! It’s really tough out there.

Why don’t you fancy going back to what you did before? It might be easier as you have relevant experience.

Op, have you highlighted your transferable skills in your CV
I know that there are various vacancies for PAC primary network coordinators whose role is to basically liaise with GPs , nurses , social worker etc to ensure that vulnerable people in the community get assistance, reducing the risk of them ending up in hospital .
These are relatively new roles .

What sort of jobs are you applying for ? I know with general nursing you can do return to practice course not sure if that is the case with dental nursing . If all your experience is in dental nursing you are really starting from scratch in the workplace if that is not what you would like to do. Could you do any courses ? There are plenty of courses out there that could open up opportunities for you and I don’t mean degrees .

I think you're not expecting to get a job, also, have you done a mock interview with someone, it's possible you talk about the kids too much or arrangements, I suggest that you use "family responsibilities" or similar as your reason for not working, BTW both my daughters took time out, one 5 years one 10, and both got jobs almost immediately. One in a school, and the one with the economics degree loved her time at Tesco, early start part time, the family didn't even know she was out!

Talk up the time you weren't working by saying that you acted as backup for other parents. organised something, even if only Mcmillan morning,

Companies rarely think that someone is too good for a job or will get bored, unless they made it clear at the interview they were too good for it!

Lastly, you are more likely to get a more senior job than a "lower" one, there is far less competition in the senior, better paid one,

All the best,

Can you list the gaps in employment and explain what you’ve been doing? I did that as I had a ten year gap. I explained I was caring for a disabled family member and had young children to take to school and was also a volunteer at the local primary school. They seemed satisfied and offered me jobs.

What about a teaching assistant in a primary? Pay isn’t good but hours might work round your mum role. Good luck xx

Ok if you’re getting interviews this is a huge plus. Many don’t get any, so your cv is definitely good.

something is going wrong at interview process. What are you saying to excuse your absence from the workforce, politely are you telling them about your mental health issues? Or are you just saying took time out to raise family, enjoyed every moment, excited for a new challenge and getting back to work?

The ghosting is shit but also pretty standard in my experience of job hunting recently. So please don’t think it’s because of you or let it deter you from looking

I had the same issue and ended up going back into education and doing voluntary work. It was the voluntary work that actually helped me get my current job because it gave me recent work experience.

What field would you like to go into? Places like CAB give you office skills/working as part of a team/customer care as a voluntary advisor.

Maybe try for a TA job. The jobs market is horrendous right now. Graduates can't get jobs, neither can some experienced people who've been made redundant, older people, school leavers etc. AI isn't helping either.

Assuming you were decent at dental nursing then I wonder if going back to that for a bit may be your best bet. Going through contacts from your previous work often works best. As pp says nobody likes a risk so someone “known” has a big advantage.

Also as another pp said there is less competition for experienced / qualified hires than for entry level “no experience” jobs as there are so many trying for those.

Then at least you have some recent paid work on your CV, recent employer references, shown you can work round the kids, and that may all make it a lot easier to find other jobs. See it as a stepping stone not forever.

OP, what you describe as "a gap in your CV" isn't a gap at all - you were actually doing the hardest job in the world. Rename it as "full-time parent", and describe all the duties and responsibilities which this involves.

Please please do not do this OP
It’ll get a massive eye roll from employers who probably also have kids and know full well what it involves.

Really? When did this become the norm?

Don’t do this op. Honestly you will never get another interview.

Hi op im more or less in the same position!
I managed to get a seasonal job (I work match days for a football club) and that has kept me going although the hours are infrequent.

I've had so many interviews and ghosted all the time! Im hoping I'll get another seasonal job with Xmas approaching.

Hand hold, its shit out there.

Weird take. Everyone has "duties and responsibilities" outside of their official employment. It's fine to add them as strengths, include relevent matches in a cover letter even. Writing them up like a job is a horrible idea. I wouldn't interview based on that C.V.