I can’t find a job after being a SAHM

[GroovyMinx]

I gave up my full time career (dental nurse) after having my eldest who is 10. It’s not a job I would want to go back to, especially now I’m nearing 40.
I had a few cafe jobs since (I now have 2 children) but after having a MH breakdown in 2024 I haven’t worked at all.

Youngest DC starts school next week and I cannot find a job at all. I’ve had 4 interviews - all of which actually ghosted me after the interview even when saying they would let me know either way.

i feel so useless.

You are not useless. Even people who haven’t got a CV gap are finding it tough to find work at the moment. In the meantime the best thing you can do is either volunteer or do some freelance work to get some recent experience and references on your CV. This will make you look good to employers as well as raising your own confidence

I’ve never left full time work and am in a growth sector. I am currently looking for a new job. I’ve sent maybe 150 cvs, have about 10 call backs and 3 interviews. And an about 6 months ago I interviewed for a job and they have just now called me back for a second stage.
This is normal right now. You have to keep going and keep applying. If you have time take something temporary and part time to show you are in work and can work and move along from there. You can’t give up after 4 interviews.
ghosting is standard now too so don’t take that to heart. It’s pretty standard to be ghosted sadly, so you have to grow a thick skin.
the fact you’ve had 4 interviews is pretty good in itself so take that a real positive and plow on.

This is such brilliant advice - for anyone. Thanks for your generosity in giving it @OutOfTheOtherSide

Exactly my thought. It sounds like you are writing yourself off doing a job with any degree of expertise because you are 40, which is frankly ridiculous.

I’ve just seen that Boots are now advertising for their seasonal staff. I presume other seasonal employees will be recruiting for staff now. I’d apply for anything that gives you a few weeks decent work experience.

Have you thought about starting your own business?

I'm actually in the same boat as you OP. Although not a SAHM, but I have been self-employed for the last 10 years and have done plenty of retail/customer service roles in the past but nobody will even look at me now as my experience was so long ago.

I am now currently volunteering for two different charities that are bringing me lots of great up to date experience, as well as references. I know what sector I want to go into and I am working towards that but my God, it's been tough! I am hoping next year, I will have a really solid C.V with up to date skills that a lot of employers will find useful, and will eventually get my foot in the door.

My advice would be to keep applying, but volunteer in places where you want to eventually work in.

The job market is terrible at the moment, I have multiple colleagues/friends in my industry in both the U.K. and US who have been jobhunting for 18 months or more after losing their jobs.
Hang in there but know that it’s a broader problem of lack of jobs/hiring - not because you’ve been a sahm - and don’t take it personally. Something will come along if you keep applying and tailoring your application to each role.
One tip though - look at it from their perspective, not yours. So don’t harp on about all the flexibility you need for your children, you need to convince an employer you are a reliable pair of hands that will get the job done. Don’t give them a reason to pass over you.

In the same boat. The jobs market is brutal and as they have their pick of all applicants at the moment even for menial jobs, as soon as they see 'school age children' I reckon they bin your CV.

I wish I didn't leave my career to look after my kids, I'm well and truly screwed now. Sorry I know this isn't making you feel better.

Totally agree. When we’re reviewing CVs at work, that would definitely get an eye roll whereas a simple “2016 to present - full time parent” would not.

I very much agree to just be factual re break in employment. It’s obviously not stopping you getting interviews.
Are there any courses you could do to help maybe ask at local college. Food hygiene, online safeguarding etc can all show you are willing and keeping up with skills.

I was similar. No GCSEs either due to barriers. Here’s what I did and what I think you could also do.

Lunchtime supervisor - primary school teaching assistant (then started an OU degree) - secondary school teaching assistant - pastoral assistant - pastoral manager - then I did a funded NHS postgrad in educational MH.

There’s always options, even in this crap market. Go find them.

People with no employment break and great CVs are struggling just as much these days, please don't think it's only you. The fact you've had a break is positive in many ways. Some people going for different work from their last job are being turned down because the employer is asking why they're not doing the same type of work.

I had 9 years off. I simply just put, a period of time looking after my children. I couldn’t give a shit if it gets an eye roll, it never went against me. I’m not just going to make out I was doing FA. Some of us don’t work when the kids are little, and I certainly don’t need to explain why I chose not too.

Just saying “a period looking after my children” is factual and won’t get an eye roll. Listing out all the varies things that involves, as PP suggested, is what would get the eye roll.

Fair enough must have missed that part.

Is there anything nhs.
eg this radiology booking clerical job you’d have transferrable skills for - used to working in medical environment, worked with patients, understand about confidentiality.
It’s 6 months, not ft and 3 different shift patterns. If you could get it then you are in so to speak and look for something else. No one is going to apply for that if they are already in a set hours ft job.
https://www.lancsteachinghospitals.nhs.uk/join-our-workforce#!/job/UK/Lancashire/Preston_Healthport_Community_Diagnostic_Centre/Lancashire_Teaching_Hospitals_NHS_Foundation_Trust/Radiology_Booking_Services/Radiology_Booking_Services-v8272349?_ts=924

It isn't just you - lots of reports on how women are filtered out by AI after having kids. There was a piece on a woman who had worked for over 30 years with major fashion brands all around the world who couldn't get a job for years and had to go on benefits to feed her kids on R4 the other day. It is AI filtering women out for having kids and also being lower earners, so not "as good" in data terms (salary) as men. Maybe just use your initials on next attempt?

Trying to be nice Op - how do you think you present at interview?

Consider your appearance, confidence, being prepared for interview questions.

Some charities will help mentor you back into work - worth looking out for?

When was it the norm to write about parenting on a CV?

Do you actually see all CVs? I think often companies filter using AI before anyone real sees them, which is where most women with years of experience are removed if they even mention a gap.

It's really rough out there. It might be worth considering dental roles again, I've been seeing tons of roles that mix dental nursing and receptionist and a lot are offering part time hours.

Try and think with every no, you are closer to getting your yes! Good luck

Absolutely disagree. I always did this and got really positive feedback ( as well as job offers).

Advantage of going for skilled work like dental is pool is smaller. Even if longterm job isn’t for you it gets you over hump of gap in cv.
Have you tried contacting all dental surgeries you can get to, to see if they need any reception cover over lunchtime or holidays to ease back in. Small places often don’t advertise.
Not sure of ins and outs with dental nursing but would something like this online refresher course help https://www.dentalnursenetwork.com/dental-courses/oral-health-refresher-course

Congratulations. Your experience isn't the same as everyone elses.