I can’t find a job after being a SAHM

[GroovyMinx]

I gave up my full time career (dental nurse) after having my eldest who is 10. It’s not a job I would want to go back to, especially now I’m nearing 40.
I had a few cafe jobs since (I now have 2 children) but after having a MH breakdown in 2024 I haven’t worked at all.

Youngest DC starts school next week and I cannot find a job at all. I’ve had 4 interviews - all of which actually ghosted me after the interview even when saying they would let me know either way.

i feel so useless.

I believe this was a joke in 'Catastrophe'.

The reality is that the job market is very tough. Even tougher for a middle aged woman with a large gap on her CV. And yes, staying at home to care for children, however valuable a use of her time that may be, is indeed a gap. Which isn't to say she shouldn't continue looking and hopefully something will turn up for her.

Please don’t do this. Massive cringe and eye roll from me as someone who stayed in employment with two autistic children, ageing and dying relatives and my own mental health challenges. Hardest job in the work my arse.

Do not list everything you did as a SAHM!

Would you consider going back to dental nursing for 6-12 months to get recent work experience?

It’s so hard out there op my friend has just been offered a zero hours job after a year out of work, and honestly applying for hundreds of roles.

i Know this doesn’t help, but it’s not you

Knowing someone who has just done this - as well as finding a job, OP would need to do a LOT of CPD to get re-registered. It would be a real hassle and expensive if she was only doing it for a few months to look for something else.

Can you look into which jobs / careers are crying out for people at the moment - so the supply of jobs exceeds demand?

People I know who’ve successfully gone back to work after a big break have either

a. Gone into a career such as social work, teaching, nursing etc where they need people, or
b. Already had a skill that is very marketable, such as IT (at the time, I don’t know if AI has changed this)

You sound like you could almost straddle both - you have skills as a dental nurse - even if you don’t want to go back to that specifically, could it help you to get started with training into an in demand field?

What sort of thing are you applying for?

People I know who haven’t managed to get back into work have wanted to do jobs where supply massively exceeds demand, where employers have the pick of a massive field.

My Aunt returned to work, after a 20 year career break to raise a family, getting a job as a PA for specialist school transport, would something like that be an option to start? They are always looking for people to fill that role near where live.

Definitely don’t do this. It’ll likely offend those who are also full time parents but who also have careers. You’d be insinuating they are ‘part time parents’ which isn’t true. Also they have to do everything that SAHM have to do but also hold down a job.

From your CV they shouldn’t no your age or that you have kids. Even in the interview you don’t need to declare that. Does living rurally affect your ability to get to work?

Also agree with posters saying don’t inflate the skills required as a sahm- just note the reason for a gap. It is cringy as hell when people write they have been responsible for domestic duties, driving etc.

The job market is screwed so you have to persevere. Ghosting seems common unfortunately and is no reflection on you but I think it is the absolute height of rudeness. I still believe if you’re making candidates come in for interviews, the least they deserve is acknowledgement and a feedback call if requested. My husband had 5 interviews for one senior position and they ghosted him. I was so angry on his behalf. This is not a trend I think is acceptable.

It will be much easier if you start from an assumption that school age DC will need to be in wraparound so you can apply for full time work, than trying to find a unicorn job you can shoehorn around school runs.

We only accept applicants at my work who live within 30 miles of the office. We got sick of people lying and saying they were happy to commute two hours each way, only to then refuse to come in and want to wfh 4 days a week. Also from a wellbeing perspective we could see people were struggling with the travel time, it wasnt reasonable.

Try the Evenbreak website.

This

Have you looked at your local council. Things like school meals, school transport are always recruiting. Look for temp or fixed term roles often candidates already in work won’t touch them. Big generalisation but managers tend to be female in local govt and do appreciate transferable skills. Even if it’s not ideal role once you are in you can see all vacancies and there’s usually lots of free courses you can attend if you did want to gain office work type skills.

Is there anything dental adjacent. My friend does a role doing into schools for eye checks in yr R her background is nhs admin. Not sure I’d anything similar for dental.

Pretty much any employer would look at that, roll their eyes, and bin it. Just put Career Break (SAHM).

Absolutely do not do this. We have applications with this or similar and IIRC haven’t interviewed the applicants, it’s ruined their application entirely.

OP can you do some volunteering so you have recent experience and references? The job market is terrible at the moment so I think 4 interviews is actually a good sign.

I think you need to go back to dental nursing. Whether in private practice or nhs based

even if it’s reception.

every job is a stepping stone and you have qualifications and experience you can utilise

once you have done it for 1-2 years, you will be more employable

The good news is you’ve only been out of work a couple of years and before that had a decent job - so you have lots of transferable skills.

But the job market is truly awful right now!

Even the low level jobs are getting multiple applicants and I’ve found that going for ‘lower’ skilled jobs isn’t always good because they think you’re too qualified and will leave them as soon as you find something better.

I have no advice other than to keep trying.

Can I ask why dental nursing isn’t for you?
My DD was considering it.

@SchrodingersParrot

sorry but this doesn’t stack up. I see this a lot and immediately dismiss these applications in favour of those who have done all the “mum admin” whilst juggling a job in addition

I would definitely put in ‘full time parent’ as employees don’t like gaps.

But I definitely wouldn’t write down what a parent does - the person reading it is likely also a parent and does all of the same things on top of working FT, so it may come across as condescending.

At interview you could ask

How many people applied

How many people they interviewed

Exactly. The reason it’s likely to be viewed adversely is it suggests that being a parent is somehow unique and special to the OP and other workers wont understand what it entails.

The fact is the majority of employees and bosses ARE parents themselves and are well aware of the struggles involved.

Incidentally, it wont endure you to a childless boss either. It comes across as very patronising and lacking in wider societal awareness.

I agree. I sympathise it's tough but it's the reality for a lot of people of being a SAHM and taking a large time out the employment sector.

Things have changed a lot in 10 years. The OP could of course detail about raising kids in her CV. Just that she'll probably be up against mums who have stayed in the work place AND have combine working with "the hardest job in the world" and running a household. These mums won't have large gaps in their CVs or significant time out the work place and will always be preferable to a recruiter than someone that has stayed at home all this time.