I can’t find a job after being a SAHM

[GroovyMinx]

I gave up my full time career (dental nurse) after having my eldest who is 10. It’s not a job I would want to go back to, especially now I’m nearing 40.
I had a few cafe jobs since (I now have 2 children) but after having a MH breakdown in 2024 I haven’t worked at all.

Youngest DC starts school next week and I cannot find a job at all. I’ve had 4 interviews - all of which actually ghosted me after the interview even when saying they would let me know either way.

i feel so useless.

Lots of who have been made redundant and who have great experience and a solid CV are finding it difficult right now. It's an employer's market. Could you do something voluntary to give your CV a boost?

Just to echo that it’s much more likely due to the job market at the moment. If you’re getting interviews then there’s nothing wrong with your CV - so please do not change it as it’s clearly getting you through shortlisting and to interview. At my workplace we recently had hundreds of applications for one specialist post which, in the past, may have attracted up to 20 applications and not all of those would have been good enough for interview. We had to do an extra level of shortlisting this time, and every single one of the candidates interviewed very well indeed and could have been offered the role. The issue we had was how to tell the others who weren’t successful why they didn’t get the role, because no-one did anything wrong and they were all very good, it’s just that one was a tiny bit better in one aspect than the others.

I’m in one of those specialist roles myself, and I only got it after a year of job hunting and several interviews (including other job offers, but I decided the fit wasn’t as suitable for me at those other places; remember, interviews are a two-way thing and if you can afford to hang on if you’re not sure about one specific role, then do so). This was a few years ago when the job market wasn’t quite as bad as it was now, so do try to hang on in there! Good luck in your job search.

They will choose someone whos always managed to hold a job down with or without children than someone who hasnt worked. Its too risky for them

It’s so hard OP, I know. I started applying when my youngest started reception and only managed to get a job when she was coming to the end of year one, just a couple of months ago. I’m getting into the swing of it now and it’s so good to be working after eight years out.

My tip would be to be bold in what you apply for. If you have most but not all of the ‘essential’ criteria, give it a go anyway. But really tailor your responses for every application - something generic or AI written won’t work.

I didn’t include ‘SAHM skills’ on my applications but I did talk about other things I’d done during that time - running a volunteer playgroup (organisational skills, admin, basic accounting); volunteering as a run director at parkrun (leadership, working with others); working with the PTA (fundraising). Anything you’ve done, think of a transferable skill and stick it in.

You’ll get there! I know it’s tough after several years off, especially with how much work has changed in recent years. But you can do it!

Edited to add - check out the Work From Home Hub. https://www.theworkfromhomehub.co.uk It’s where I found my eventual job (public sector, reasonably well paid and fully remote - the dream!)

It’s the same in most industries right now, particularly entry level roles. Lots of graduates can’t find jobs. There’s always a shortage of TA’s, maybe try that? Alternatively retrain, look at being educated over the next few years instead?

I can also recommend successful mums. I did courses with them to return to office work. I've almost been back in employment 4 years.

I would make sure I'm up to date on dental nursing and then go back to that to build up confidence and get some money in the bank. Then you can decide what you want to do next from there, even if it's something completely different. You're more likely to succeed that way (pivoting from one job to another) than by starting from scratch.

What is it you don't like about dental nursing? As a pp has said it may be something you've got more of a chance in.

Have you considered being a dental receptionist?

Would you do cleaning? I cleaned for years when the kids were young. Perfect for fitting in around school hours, most of the time you're on your own, the pay is pretty good and you can be your own boss.

You potentially need some interview training
Your getting to that stage so your CV and applications are decent enough to get you there you just need to sell yourself

Did you get a jobs coach as part of your discharge team from your mental health crisis? I know some teams have that as one of the interventions

They are always crying out for carers. Pay not good and challenging but could also be rewarding and use it as a temporary bridge to a role you prefer. Teaching assistant, same. Coming up for Christmas temp jobs you could apply for too in retail, warehouses etc

Do you have personal contacts in the local hospitality industry - pub restaurants, golf clubs etc, who might be able to help? That might be a start. Also volunteering in a charity shop would give you something to put on your CV.

Yes, we were overwhelmed. We had to use an ATS to screen candidates before shortlisting.

AI has really shaken the world upside down.

Actually this is a good time to apply for Christmas jobs

Retail & hospitality will be advertising for these type of seasonal jobs now

Good luck

I also agree investigate voluntary roles too to put on your CV

Don't give up. I was in a similar situation to you, I had 10 years as a SAHM, a choice which felt right at the time but not one I'd ever make if I had the chance again. It affected my confidence and I always felt odd being totally reliant on my husband as his career progressed while I shrank away into a smaller version of myself. After many rejections I went back to my previous career in a junior role (I was in a senior position when I left), a career I said I'd never return to, just to get back in the workforce again. I hated every minute of it but stuck it out for a year before applying for jobs again. I went for a job I thought I didn't have any chance of getting (complete career change), and got it even though there were people more qualified than me at the interview. It's my dream job, fits around the children and I'm so happy. Just keep trying, it's possible, but in hindsight I was unrealistic expecting to walk into the perfect job after 10 years off, even with my previous qualifications and experience. Best of luck.

You are not useless.

You could do a course to train in something else. Have a look online and see what is available locally.

Care home activities co ordinator roles come up frequently (I also live rurally & there are lots of care homes nearby). Do you have relevant experience for this role? It’s a shame you didn’t get any feedback after your interview. Do keep applying if you have good ideas for activities!

I am in the same boat. There are lots of volunteer opportunities about, working an hour here and there in a charity shop, driving people to hospital, delivering meals, etc. none of which may sound particularly exciting but may be the step up you need to get up to date cv experience, show reliability, and get once or two references. Could make all the difference. I'm starting there and hoping for the best.

Dear God don't do this.

Many parents raise children and work full time. If I had "full time mummy" and then a list of all the things mummy does, you would be filtered out by one of my staff and I'd never even see your CV. Although they did present me one once where there were genuinely emojis, but at least that applicant was a teenager, so marginally more excusable.

Being very real with you, because I don't think sugarcoating benefits anyone here, you need to up your game if you seriously want a job. If the only thing you've got experience of is being a dental nurse, then I'm going to assume you don't have any qualifications otherwise. So, your CV lands on my desk, and honestly, this is the review:

Qualifications, none: Ok, if I'm offering a menial/minimum wage position this isn't too much of an issue, let see how reliable you look.

Two kids: Well that's put you lower down the list than anyone with no kids or one kid. Because that's three people who could get ill that result in you not turning up. With no kids, I only have to worry about you being sick. Which leads me on to...

MH breakdown: If this is something you're disclosing, then I wouldn't hire you on that basis, not that my firm would ever admit it, but realistically that's a no thank you from 99% of firms. What with sick pay and rights from day one of employment now, and you've got history of long term sick? As an employer I see a liability waiting to happen. If I found out during your probation I'd find a reason not to continue your employment.

All three of those combined? Sorry but the likelihood of you being the preferred candidate above the multitude of applicants I'll have? Not good. I've hired 3 people at my business in the last 5 months. For those 3 roles, 2 of which are min wage, we had just over 600 applicants. One of our min wage hires holds a degree.

So, what can you do? Train yourself. In something useful. Can you do an evening course in Xero or QuickBooks, that would make you appealing for office work? The other thing is to put yourself on agency books and take what's put your way but it's likely to be production line. If you live near a Center Parcs, they are always hiring for housekeeping staff.

Maybe it’s time for the children’s dad to take on more of the school runs. That would give you more availability for work and allow you to show employers that you can be flexible with your hours and days. It sounds like you’ve spent a long time being the default parent, and your career has had to take a back seat because of it. You’ve done your share — it’s only fair that their dad steps up and does his too.

This is absolutely terrible horrific advice

Look at doing a medical secretary course. It’s better than minimum wage. There is room for promotion.
There is plenty to care work too if you’re not squeamish, one or two HCA modules will get you in the door.
You’ll pick up Christmas retail, packing or delivery jobs while you’re a training over Christmas.