To be worried about my five year old on a day trip without me?

[esrlymorningdark]

Next week, ds was going to spend a few hours at a friends house because I’m at work. DH can WFH that day so in my mind, DS would spend a couple of hours playing with his friend in the morning, home maybe for or just after lunch, and then DH could put a film on or he would play himself here and then I’d probably be home around 330.

However, my friend has told me she plans on taking the boys on a day out which is a really lovely thought and I understand why. My worry is that it’s a good hour away and if ds is upset or missing us then there’s not anything we can really do. The other worry is that DS’s behaviour has been a bit tricky these past few weeks. He’s had a spate of ear infections and has barely got over one before the next and he is actually having grommets fitted in early October so hopefully not long to go. I am mindful though that he has been very argumentative and peevish lately and in all honesty his friend has a similar temperament and on occasion they can bring out the absolute worst in one another and I don’t want to inflict that on my friend!

So - AIBU? DH can take the day off so no issue there.

Overthinking parent again
Let him go, let him cope with what happens when Mum isn't around.
Best to prime other Mum about it.
Think how he might like a day off from Mum supervising his every move.

Why is your first thought if your son gets upset to go and get him? How do you think that will set him up for his life?
If he's upset and you're not there he will learn to get over it himself or with help from his friend or your friend.

I’m saying that you should be having a conversation with the other child’s mother OP! Express your concerns to her.

Why did you agree to the playdate in the first place then? Sounds like your son can be challenging and most kids are better out the house than in, so if she knows they don't generally play well she probably thought best to get them out and about.

If she has already bought tickets then I think it's rude to cancel and you should have never agreed to this in the first place and just got your DH to book the day off (as I think you say somewhere this isn't an issue). This would have saved wasting the mums time and effort in sorting something out and also thinking her own child would have company for the day which she might need to now rethink when you inevitably cancel.

Why are you expecting him to freak out without you? Has this happened previously?

Good idea. I always put a bright t shirt on my two. Makes it much easier to monitor them.

There’s always at least two people. One at the front of the line of kids and one at the back to make sure the stragglers don’t wander off.

I think in general people don't volunteer to do things beyond their capacity. Sometimes it's easier managing kids outside the house rather than indoors.

It is worth explaining the acoustic problems with soft play and that she may need to be in front of him and looking at him for him to hear her.

Worth sending paracetamol/ ibuprofen with him to administer at lunchtime if he's in ongoing pain.

Other than that trust that she can manage him if he is upset like she'd manage her own and in an emergency you or your husband could be available by video call.

He's 5 years old and goes to school - why on earth would he miss you on a day out? And why don't you think his friends' mum can cope with two school-aged children?