To not want any more people around me

[onabranch]

I am all people’d out, we are coming to the end of the 6 week holidays where I have had 3 kids with me 24/7 we have just got back from visiting family and Dh has been home this week and we are currently on our way home where older dc wants to come over as it’s bank holiday.
I feel like I want to cry, I just can’t handle any more people.
I know I can’t escape everyone at home but AIBU to say no to anyone else coming.
Everyone else wants to see them and I’m doing a family roast so they should be here, I haven’t said anything yet but they did text to say they would come over when we get back but my social battery is drained and I just can’t handle any more socialising.
Should I just be honest or suck it up so nobody feels left out.

Anyone else I'd agree with you, but your own child? When you're having a family dinner anyway.....

I’m not sure what your question is. Do you mean you can cope with older DC visiting but don’t want to invite wider family who might want to see them at yours?

Yesh, just keep it to yourself and afterwards say it was a last minute thing.

I probably wouldn’t stop the older DC coming over but as for anyone else I’d say I’m exhausted and all peopled out so we’ll get together next weekend. Sending hugs

Ooo I think I may have misunderstood is it just the older child wanting to come over? I thought everyone else meant wider family but reading again do you mean just the family that live at home?

I get the exhaustion of people,but do you actually mean you want to tell your older child they aren't welcome?

I understand how you feel, but I would make an exception for your daughter.

I wouldn’t exclude one DC from a family roast.

Your post isn't that clear? Who's everyone else? Do you mean wider family are coming to see older DC and you don't want them to come but your DH and DC do? Is it that you don't want to see older DC but his dad and siblings do?

It’s your child ffs not some randome stranger!! Think how you’d feel if you were them.

Unless your DC is bringing a spouse and 5 young children with them, I don’t understand why you’d say no. You don’t have to entertain them, they’re your DC.

I think it’s because the older child is coming to see us so it will be more social and hosting where the ones who live here would just be in their rooms or doing their own thing otherwise.

You want to exclude one of your kids?

I mean, I don't enjoy being around people, so I chose to only have one other person in my house.

Is it a step child? Why don’t you want your own DC to come over?

This is a bit strange.

as a pp said, I would understand if it were anybody else…..but your own child?!

is there some sort of backstory here?

Oh. I misunderstood.

No, that would be really mean.

Unless of course they are your least favourite child?

I don’t think you can exclude your older dc op but after lunch why not leave your dh to clear up and look after the others and take your older dc out for a coffee or just spend some quiet time together. Or just go upstairs and lie down in your bedroom.

The real issue here is that you feel overwhelmed and burnt out. Has your dh stepped up enough during the holidays?
Why are you feeling so exhausted this time?

Did you get any time off? Are you able to chill a bit once everyone is back at school?

I do need to entertain them, they’ll expect me sit down and make conversation and be sociable if they have come over and everyone who would otherwise disperse will be all sitting around with us.

Did your older child join any of the six-week holiday? I think it would be mean to say they cannot come over in any case, but especially if they didn't join any of the holiday.

Or is this a different issue? Is the older child a step child?

Isn't this something you sign up for when you have multiple children?

Although, I totally understand why you want some down time.

You can’t tell your own child that they’re not welcome to family dinner. Sorry.

Are you saying you don’t want to welcome your own children to your home? Appreciate you need some time to yourself as well but you have a lot of children so isn’t that just part of life with a big family? It’s one day and then everyone goes back to their normal lives so I can’t quite see the issue.

I do need to entertain them, they’ll expect me sit down and make conversation and be sociable if they have come over and everyone who would otherwise disperse will be all sitting around with us.

You must deal with their expectations. Say that it is lovely to see everyone but you are very exhausted and need to go to your room for an hour or so and rest. Leave them to cook.

I think YABU. You said you’ve just been away so your older DC presumably hasn’t seen you? I have 2 DC’s who have moved out but I’d never stop them coming to a family meal because I was people’d out.
Do you like your older DC? I genuinely love spending time with mine when they come over

So don’t sit down with them, do your own thing and let them chat to the rest of the family. With your immediate family you can be as comfortable as you like.

How strange.

Bit harsh to exclude your own child. If your tired just whack the TV on and find a good movie to watch between you. Your child will understand!