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AIBU?

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To think this is outrageously irresponsible parenting

189 replies

CaffeinatedMum · 30/08/2026 21:52

On holiday in France at a Eurocamp park. Yesterday I was in the outdoor pool and noticed a little boy maybe around 18 months, certainly no older than a young 2, bobbing around by himself in a float vest. For context my six year old was out of his depth in all of this pool apart from the steps to get in, so it wasn’t a toddler type splash pool.

I watched him for a minute as he didn’t seem to have anyone with him and then both me and another lady went up to him to ask him where his mummy or daddy was, obviously he didn’t reply as was very young. Led him to the steps and his older sister came rushing up to him, I can’t imagine she was more than five (considerably smaller than my six year old).

Long story short, the parents were watching the kids from the bar nearby with their friends. This isn’t a pool bar and they weren’t in swimwear. it’s the other side of a gate and foot bath. So yes you can see the kids but you’re a fair distance away, not just on a lounger next to it,

They absolutely fell about with laughter when their son was helped out of the pool.

I genuinely can’t believe how irresponsible this parenting was… I am assuming I will get a unanimous YANBU but obviously there are parents out there who think this is not only ok but funny.

Now kicking myself for not saying anything to them about it but didn’t want to cause a scene, they were quite a big intimidating group standing their laughing their heads off.

OP posts:
UnintentionalArcher · 31/08/2026 22:21

dreamiesformolly · 31/08/2026 15:15

It is. When I was little I was often laughed at for being upset or angry. People think small kids don't register this kind of thing, but I can still remember the feelings of hurt and utter powerlessness it caused me. Some people really shouldn't be parents.

I’m so sorry you experienced this. You’re right that some people shouldn’t be parents.

Minasama · 31/08/2026 22:24

Optimisticdramalarma · 31/08/2026 16:41

I work i retail (think golden arches)

The building is a two story building-walk in and the stairs are to the right

I cannot count how many times parents walk in,dart upstairs to order their food and then stare,slack jawed into their phones while the kids run riot (which is bad enough)

It's no fun walking around with hot food and drinks and a child runs out in front of you

Outside the main door (past the world's smallest carpark) is a very busy main road-cars zoom down it

Many is the time I've had to grab a toddler just before they get flattened and when you go with them to find their parent,they've not even noticed the child has gone (nor do they seem to care)

One family do it so often (no matter how many times we've 'had a word') I'm amazed she's still got all 5 kids still alive

Her youngest was 13 months when I dragged her away from going under a car-mum was upstairs,gawping at her phone and ignoring her dd's (God knows where the other two where)

Didn't bat an eyelid when I told her what had happened but she'd be the first to howl that it's everyone else's fault if the kid got run over

I would imagine that a large percentage of people who have five children may be lacking in responsibility, except the ones who are very well off. It’s hardly something a responsible person would do otherwise.

UnintentionalArcher · 31/08/2026 22:24

Optimisticdramalarma · 31/08/2026 16:41

I work i retail (think golden arches)

The building is a two story building-walk in and the stairs are to the right

I cannot count how many times parents walk in,dart upstairs to order their food and then stare,slack jawed into their phones while the kids run riot (which is bad enough)

It's no fun walking around with hot food and drinks and a child runs out in front of you

Outside the main door (past the world's smallest carpark) is a very busy main road-cars zoom down it

Many is the time I've had to grab a toddler just before they get flattened and when you go with them to find their parent,they've not even noticed the child has gone (nor do they seem to care)

One family do it so often (no matter how many times we've 'had a word') I'm amazed she's still got all 5 kids still alive

Her youngest was 13 months when I dragged her away from going under a car-mum was upstairs,gawping at her phone and ignoring her dd's (God knows where the other two where)

Didn't bat an eyelid when I told her what had happened but she'd be the first to howl that it's everyone else's fault if the kid got run over

That is truly shocking. This thread is so upsetting to read.

Kickinthenostalgia · 31/08/2026 22:46

When I was in Florida, there was a kid about the same age in the pool by himself, parents were actually at the side but I still thought he was a bit young to be by himself.

Absolutelynot2 · 31/08/2026 23:46

Blakeley · 31/08/2026 14:21

When my son was younger and having swimming lessons a woman used to come to the pool every week with a very young toddler, she looked like she was maybe his grandmother not mum. She’d leave him in the toddler pool and go and do lengths by herself in the adult pool. She’d leave wouldn’t once even look at him. I would spend every Saturday watching this child whilst my husband watched our son as I was terrified he’d drown. Some people are so clueless on the dangers of water.

Edited

They're not clueless, they just don't care. When people show you who they are, and all that.

Hollyhobbi · 01/09/2026 00:05

Optimisticdramalarma · 31/08/2026 08:30

Ds was about 10 (ish) and a bloody strong swimmer

I was at the side of the pool (heavily pregnant and ghe size of a double decker bus) with his much younger siblings (who where in the buggy)

I turned for a second not noticing as had come up behind us and he slipped and fell in

It was that fast-thankfully the lifeguard got him out and he was fine

I was sat there,watching them closely and in the second it took to pass his brother a drink,he'd fallen in

I've never been so scared in my whole life-thankfully he made a massive splash and the lifeguard got him out as I realised what had happened

How anyone can wander off and leave them is beyond me

My father is a gardener (he does it all the organic way-no chemicals) and part of this is having frogs in his garden

It's not unusual to be at theirs and a frog jumps past

The 'pond' is ds's old baby bath-its not a massive pond but big enough for frogspawn/a handful of frogs

To get to it,you have to walk down to the greenhouse at the bottom of the garden,wade through about 5 feet of nettles and hunt for it (you wouldn't see it until you stood in it)

I never let the dc in that garden without an adult (normally me as my parents would have wandered off)

My parents thought it was overkill and 'it wouldn't happen' (my parents just don't see danger-'it'll be right' is their catchphrase) but it was still a risk-no matter how small

Not a chance would I have left them to be near water on their own-and it still happened with me next to him

Your ds was 10 and a strong swimmer so why were you worried when he fell in?

GarlicAnything · 01/09/2026 00:17

Namenamchange · 30/08/2026 23:13

No, but would be blaming someone else

I once pulled out a girl of about 8 who was drowning - I'd been keeping an eye on her, she just sank quietly to the bottom of the pool. She was unconscious. I turned her upside down and passed her to the parents, who'd belatedly appeared from the bar.They went mad at me for handling their child 🙄

Did anyone see last week's thread from a MNer who had a four-year-old pestering her all day, as his parents didn't want to know?

DeftGoldHedgehog · 01/09/2026 05:43

CaffeinatedMum · 31/08/2026 13:59

Few people saying European people are more laid back / better swimmers from a young age… the family were all British!

It also worries me in a way when kids can swim from a young age, it gives some parents carte blanche to not be in the pool with them when they still ought to be supervising closely and in the water with them. Yes, ok, the child might have less risk of drowning with lessons, but they are still little and you need to be with them.

Peonies12 · 01/09/2026 06:07

That’s awful, has really upset me. I don’t like flotation devices as I think it’s enabling irresponsible behaviour like this. I’d have reported it to the camp staff

Packofsix · 01/09/2026 06:49

Oh I would have said something for sure. And also reported it to staff

TheGlitterFairy · 01/09/2026 07:19

So much poor parenting in and around the poolside. We saw this in Greece this year. DH and I spent all day every day in the pool with DS; supervising, watching him play, playing etc - SO many kids in the water on their own with no parents nearby but expecting us to watch theirs. It’s so irresponsible but also unfair. My holiday is with my family; it’s my job to look after my child - which I do but not my job to look after other children when they’re on a sunlounger with a cocktail. I sent many a child over to where their parents were (other side of kids pool) as frankly don’t want to be supervising half of the under 5s in the water!!

HeyThereDelila · 01/09/2026 07:23

YANBU. That poor little boy.

If you’re still at the holiday park it’s worth reporting it.

Beepen · 01/09/2026 07:45

birdofparadise26 · 31/08/2026 06:27

I am not seeing where there is any liability for the site owners. It’s all a bit ‘tell the teacher’ isn’t it?

Of course there would be liability. They would face an awful harrowing investigation

It's definitely not "tell the teacher". The owners deserve to know and be given the chance to take action

Beepen · 01/09/2026 07:49

Sadly I am unsurprised
I reported some parents at my private gym pool as I was swimming lengths and they came in with a 3 year old and a 5 year old who could not swim well then proceeded to sit poolside staring at their phones

And when my children were little I lost count of the number of toddlers I fished out of the paddling pool in the park while their parents were obliviously staring at their phones.

Beepen · 01/09/2026 07:51

DeftGoldHedgehog · 01/09/2026 05:43

It also worries me in a way when kids can swim from a young age, it gives some parents carte blanche to not be in the pool with them when they still ought to be supervising closely and in the water with them. Yes, ok, the child might have less risk of drowning with lessons, but they are still little and you need to be with them.

Agree. Mine had swimming lessons from babyhood and were strong swimmers but I still stayed within the pool work them until they were into their teens

Optimisticdramalarma · 01/09/2026 07:52

Hollyhobbi · 01/09/2026 00:05

Your ds was 10 and a strong swimmer so why were you worried when he fell in?

Because he slipped and somehow knocked himself out as he hit the water

Just goes to show accidents can happen I a second

withoutapaddl · 01/09/2026 07:55

On holiday currently and I fished two brothers who were drowning each other out of a very deep pool on the first day of our holiday. Parents on sun loungers, the mum came over to ask me what I was doing….
they were fairly confident swimmers on their own, but one got into difficulty, the other tried to help and they just kept pulling each other under. It was awful to see.
they continued to be in the pool unsupervised even after I pulled them out.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 01/09/2026 07:58

I used to work next to the personal injury team in an open plan office. Hearing about a child dying of secondary drowning gave me some sleepless nights, I can tell you.

DangerousAlchemy · 01/09/2026 08:30

whatsnewpussycatt · 30/08/2026 23:02

I’m on holiday just now.
Today by the pool a toddler, similar age, definitely younger than 2, was leaning over the pool trying to fill up a little cup. This was a deep pool where I can’t stand up, apart from the steps, very much like you describe. Toddler had no floats on or anything. No parents in sight. He was leaning so far over, he was almost in and could have fallen any second. Eventually a little girl, who was probably his sister, who was only about 3 herself, started screaming looking at him. She didn’t seem to be able to voice her concerns but looked on screaming as if to get attention. Dad eventually comes strolling from god knows where. followed by mum. Neither batted an eye. Sad that big sister, just a toddler herself, has had to learn what is unsafe parenting and can only scream on helplessly. I obviously stayed next to him but parents didn’t even notice.
A different family left their very young baby and toddler strapped in push chairs sleeping, in the blazing sun, while they went off, probably to the bar but who knows. The children were left strapped in at the pool side alone in the heat for a long long time. Parents gone and out of sight. No one checking on them, they could have overheated or anything. Other guests and staff intervened because parents eventually returned looking annoyed.
I could probably give many more examples. You see it all the time. It’s ridiculous.

Edited

Urrgh can't bear to see kids in pushchairs in direct sun. Even if the child is shaded by the hood they will be so, so hot. My friend's daughter's friend, (F22), forgot to put suncream on her back a few weeks ago whilst abroad with a group of friends. One of the Canary Islands I believe. Her back was so blistered and infected she's had to visit the burns unit 10 times to get dressings changed nows she's home and has been told she'll be left with life-altering scars. She was in so much pain flying back from that holiday she couldn't sit down on her seat and her parents had to take her straight to a&e. She was admitted immediately so it was obviously very serious. I hate the way many people don't take heatstroke/sunstroke/sunburn seriously enough plus water safety especially when on holiday too & when kids are involved.

dreamiesformolly · 01/09/2026 08:35

UnintentionalArcher · 31/08/2026 22:21

I’m so sorry you experienced this. You’re right that some people shouldn’t be parents.

Thanks. I think for some reason they thought I was too little for it to affect me long-term, but it definitely did.

DangerousAlchemy · 01/09/2026 08:36

Optimisticdramalarma · 31/08/2026 16:41

I work i retail (think golden arches)

The building is a two story building-walk in and the stairs are to the right

I cannot count how many times parents walk in,dart upstairs to order their food and then stare,slack jawed into their phones while the kids run riot (which is bad enough)

It's no fun walking around with hot food and drinks and a child runs out in front of you

Outside the main door (past the world's smallest carpark) is a very busy main road-cars zoom down it

Many is the time I've had to grab a toddler just before they get flattened and when you go with them to find their parent,they've not even noticed the child has gone (nor do they seem to care)

One family do it so often (no matter how many times we've 'had a word') I'm amazed she's still got all 5 kids still alive

Her youngest was 13 months when I dragged her away from going under a car-mum was upstairs,gawping at her phone and ignoring her dd's (God knows where the other two where)

Didn't bat an eyelid when I told her what had happened but she'd be the first to howl that it's everyone else's fault if the kid got run over

Jeez! You still work there? Please report these parents to social services next time it happens. Those poor, poor kids. & thank you for being so vigilant in the meantime.

dreamiesformolly · 01/09/2026 08:39

GarlicAnything · 01/09/2026 00:17

I once pulled out a girl of about 8 who was drowning - I'd been keeping an eye on her, she just sank quietly to the bottom of the pool. She was unconscious. I turned her upside down and passed her to the parents, who'd belatedly appeared from the bar.They went mad at me for handling their child 🙄

Did anyone see last week's thread from a MNer who had a four-year-old pestering her all day, as his parents didn't want to know?

Yep, that's the thread that this one reminded me of. That could have so nearly ended in tragedy. 😕

DangerousAlchemy · 01/09/2026 08:40

GarlicAnything · 01/09/2026 00:17

I once pulled out a girl of about 8 who was drowning - I'd been keeping an eye on her, she just sank quietly to the bottom of the pool. She was unconscious. I turned her upside down and passed her to the parents, who'd belatedly appeared from the bar.They went mad at me for handling their child 🙄

Did anyone see last week's thread from a MNer who had a four-year-old pestering her all day, as his parents didn't want to know?

I'd have been so furious with those parents. I get they were acting defensively because they were scared etc but to get angry with you?? You had just saved her life. I don't understand some people at all.

DangerousAlchemy · 01/09/2026 08:44

Bigreddog25 · 31/08/2026 18:44

The main reason I'm put off All inclusive hotel holidays (I used to love them) is because I can't cope with all the shit parenting. Drunk parents giving zero fucks about their children.

I was in Mexico in 2023 and a 4 year old girl drowned in the pool. Huge group of about 15 adults all at the bar getting drunk. Whilst the kid drowns. Fucking twats.

That's just so so awful 💔 that poor little girl. I've been to an AI place in Portugal with a friend a few years back where the parents' main focus was just getting drunk and being twats.

Optimisticdramalarma · 01/09/2026 09:24

DangerousAlchemy · 01/09/2026 08:36

Jeez! You still work there? Please report these parents to social services next time it happens. Those poor, poor kids. & thank you for being so vigilant in the meantime.

We have reported her to the police (along with the fools who allow their kids to hang out of car windows) but they don't do anything

I don't know where she lives/kids go to school (I know their first names but not surnames) or I'd be banging down the door of ss (she's a customer,i dont know her personal details like surname or address)

She's a joke-she sent her ds round to a house that had two of those xlbullies and one almost tore the lads face off (I saw him afterwards-it wasn't pretty-im amazed it wasn't picked up in the papers)

Not her fault-it's the fault of the owners,she was innocent

She sent him round,she knew that dog was dangerous,she laughed about the dangers until it happened to her/the ds

She's a shit mother but I do know the schools have raised concerns with ss (she was bleating on about it) so hopefully something will be done before a child is killed (which won't be her fault)

One of her ds's is part of a gang and she doesn't give a shit-ignoring her dc is the least of it

It's bloody frustrating as the family need help but I can't do anything (and believe me,I get a sniff of where they go to school/a surname/address and I'll report her)

It sounds like I'm making excuses but I do report her to the police everytime (which is about as far as I can go)