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1st cousin marriage

1000 replies

Wiseplumnet · 26/08/2026 16:00

AIBU to ask your opinion on 1st cousin marriage?.I have read that the government is looking to ban it. I know it is more prevelent ( but declining) in the UK among people of Asian origin. I am not coming from a judgemental or racist angle. I am just interested to know how mum'snetters of all ethnicities feel about marriage between 1st cousin's. I know it used to be more common in the west at one time, apart from keeping money/property in families, people travelled less widely, so there was less choice of marriage partners.I worked with a girl ( White British) who was in a secret relationship with her 1st cousin and they are very reluctant to tell their family, so there seems to be a cultural taboo in 1st cousins being romantically involved.Genetic factors resulting in disabilities (statistically twice as many as in unrelated parents) is sometimes given as a reason for banning cousin marriage, however we have genetic screening now, and disabilities aren't always serious.As so many babies died in infancy before we had vaccines, better health care etc , it was probably difficult to differentiate whether the close relationship between parents was the cause of any disabilities their children . Speaking for myself,I can't imagine wanting to marry any of the cousins I was brought up with as they seem more like brothers to me, but I could understand why someone may be attracted to a 1st cousin who they first met as adults. Or does it give you the instant 'Yuk' ? Also is banning 1st cousin marriage the same as banning 1st cousin sexual relationships and children, or would that become illegal? Maybe there's no need for a legal ban as the tradition will just die out over time

OP posts:
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zanahoria · 29/08/2026 11:59

Why I said no to marrying my cousin

Iram Ramzan

archive.ph/51DbH

RafaFan · 29/08/2026 13:18

LifetimesAgo · 28/08/2026 18:38

Clearly you do need “a lecture on genetics” if you didn’t understand my perfectly clear poste about it and have misunderstood them as significantly as your response to me implied. If you now accept that what I have said was correct, in my multiple posts both before and after you sent me these silly comments and personal insults, then apologise, because it’s evident to anybody who actually had read my comments on the thread that your silly responses to me were a complete misrepresentation of what I have stated, repeatedly.

As for you trying to pretend I don’t understand science when I’ve spent most of this thread correcting posts from people who don’t understand it, and you’ve already admitted that you didn’t even bother to read my posts before sending these accusations and personal insults to me, you are just making yourself look ridiculous, frankly.

Yet more attempts to try to discredit people who actually know what they’re talking about: the usual tactic employed by people who have no rational or scientific counterargument.

If you actually have anything of worth to add to the scientific and legal discussions on the thread then please go ahead. If all you are capable of is making personal attacks on other posters and trying to misrepresent their posts out of context then please stop wasting the time of those of us trying to have a transparent discussion about this topic based on science and fact.

Your arrogance astounds me. This is Mumsnet, not a scientific conference where participants might be expected to get themselves fully up to speed on all prior discussions.Nor is it a place where everybody can be expected to have the same level of scientific knowledge.

Somebody entering a Mumsnet thread for the first time on page 35 has probably not read the entire thing. There was a little trail of posts about haemophilia, which you responded to with incorrect information as regards the inheritance of haemophilia. I pointed out this was wrong. You then said, "oh but I wasn't referring to haemophilia, I was talking about the whole discussion in general". Okay, I believe you. But you didn't say that in the post in response to that haemophilia post. Your reply was not "perfectly clear" as you seem to think. It was wrong with respect to haemophilia.

Instead of just admitting that yes, maybe that post wasn't very clear, I should have clarified it more, (or even just ignoring my comment) you then spend several paragraphs over more than one post accusing me of not understanding genetics. Nothing I have posted about genetics in this thread has been wrong. As I said before, I do not require a lesson on genetics from you.

bafta16 · 29/08/2026 14:08

It's not a scientific conference but I had a quick glance over the article in your link and it appears to stating an increase in problems for children whose parents are cousins.

Missey85 · 29/08/2026 15:36

SnowFrogJelly · 28/08/2026 23:34

Why is it disgusting?

It’s allowed and one of my family members married a cousin so be careful what you say

It might be considered normal in your family but they would say that if their doing it themselves 🤢 it's incest and gross

Missey85 · 29/08/2026 15:43

Huxon · 26/08/2026 16:51

Why allow one and not the other? Two consenting adults, and love is love isn't it?

The big difference being the LGBT Couple aren't related? Whereas sleeping with your cousin is incest!

Ratherhaveacupofteaandabiscuit · 29/08/2026 15:47

It is not racist to acknowledge that a cultural custom is dangerous.

See also FGM.

Interpreting racism in such a way that nothing can be questioned or criticised is harmful in itself.

bafta16 · 29/08/2026 16:11

Watch the film mentioned up thread. Its absolutely heart breaking for all concerned.
Its on You tube.

Wake up, its in no way connected to LGBT

It's a hideous, outmoded and cruel thing.

EasternStandard · 29/08/2026 16:18

SnowFrogJelly · 28/08/2026 23:34

Why is it disgusting?

It’s allowed and one of my family members married a cousin so be careful what you say

Well no. It should be banned.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/08/2026 16:26

NeedANapAgain · 29/08/2026 00:47

Probably already answered, but Victoria being a carrier for hemophilia had nothing to do with marrying her cousin. It was a spontaneous mutation, most likely caused by her father being over 50 when she was conceived.

Yes, but it was also prevalent in her descendants. Did none of them inter-marry?
I know QEII and her husband were both descendants so I presume there would have been others in the meantime.

And even if the inter-marrying didn't cause haemophilia, or make it more common in the Royal Family, it's still not good for the gene pool, is it?

Gwenhwyfar · 29/08/2026 16:28

SnowFrogJelly · 28/08/2026 23:34

Why is it disgusting?

It’s allowed and one of my family members married a cousin so be careful what you say

It's allowed now, but this is about future marriages.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'be careful what you say'. Are you saying people can't have freedom of expression or are you threatening them?

Also, as explained many times, the problem is when it happens multiple times in the same family.

zanahoria · 29/08/2026 20:54

The Case for Banning Cousin Marriage

Patrick S Nash

Oxford Journal of Law and Religion, Volume 13, Issue 1, February 2024, Pages 98–118

https://academic.oup.com/ojlr/article/13/1/98/7685593

Zov · 29/08/2026 20:59

EasternStandard · 29/08/2026 16:18

Well no. It should be banned.

100% agree. It really needs banning. I am shocked that it is still legal.

gezzab33 · 29/08/2026 21:16

x2boys · 28/08/2026 21:51

Identicle?
If so surely that makes them biological hslf siblings ?

I know....And then they had children. It's all really hard.

Totaldramallama · 29/08/2026 21:18

SnowFrogJelly · 28/08/2026 23:34

Why is it disgusting?

It’s allowed and one of my family members married a cousin so be careful what you say

What on earth does be careful what you say mean 😂

It is disgusting because it is incest. Not that hard to understand

gezzab33 · 29/08/2026 21:18

BlueFahrenheit · 28/08/2026 21:59

Ugh, my stomach churned.

🤮

Same. They don't really talk to anyone now but it's a bit of a mess. My family wouldn't know what to do with that so I've never mentioned it to them. It just isn't right.

x2boys · 29/08/2026 21:47

gezzab33 · 29/08/2026 21:16

I know....And then they had children. It's all really hard.

Is that even allowed ?whilst technically they are cousins
If their fathers are identicle twins they will have exactley the same DNA ?

Neverstopwondering · 29/08/2026 21:49

Apart from the whole genetic defect thing it is wrong because a large majority of marriages are forced. If you ask the bribe they may say they agreed to it and in theory they did. However they more often than not are told who they are going to marry and agree to it because they love their parents/family.

My friend is Somali raised in London. When she was 14 she was told who she was going to marry. At 18 after a few years of getting used to the idea she was wed. It turned out to be a very abusive marriage. She escaped both it and Islam eventually but her parents were not happy. Especially the leaving Islam part, they believe jinns (evil spirts) have taken over her. Over the years they have turned up on her doorstep with various religious men that have insisted on doing exersioms.

I also have met the odd woman that was told to marry her sibling. Have listened to a lady explaining to her son that yes he has 6 uncles but one is also him father. Therefore don't count him because it confuses people and they could then start asking questions. She doesn't get on with the grandparents but when hers sons are with dad they still see kids because there is just one set of grandparents.

London 2026!

Zov · 29/08/2026 22:07

x2boys · 29/08/2026 21:47

Is that even allowed ?whilst technically they are cousins
If their fathers are identicle twins they will have exactley the same DNA ?

I googled this...

Here's what came up..

If two identical twin brothers (or sisters) have a child each with two separate, unrelated women or men, their children are first cousins who share about 25% of their DNA—making them genetically equivalent to half-siblings rather than typical first cousins (who share 12.5%)

So the children won't have exactly 100% the same DNA, (if their fathers/mothers are identical twins,) but they will share more DNA than if their parents are just non-identical siblings, indeed they will be the equivalent of half siblings, and the risk of genetic mutations and health issues is greater.

Overall though, first cousins getting married/having babies really needs banning IMO. As has been said, it is pretty much incest. It's too close a kin...

x2boys · 29/08/2026 22:10

Zov · 29/08/2026 22:07

I googled this...

Here's what came up..

If two identical twin brothers (or sisters) have a child each with two separate, unrelated women or men, their children are first cousins who share about 25% of their DNA—making them genetically equivalent to half-siblings rather than typical first cousins (who share 12.5%)

So the children won't have exactly 100% the same DNA, (if their fathers/mothers are identical twins,) but they will share more DNA than if their parents are just non-identical siblings, indeed they will be the equivalent of half siblings, and the risk of genetic mutations and health issues is greater.

Overall though, first cousins getting married/having babies really needs banning IMO. As has been said, it is pretty much incest. It's too close a kin...

Thanks but rightly so half siblings wouldnt be able to marry and reproduce legally.

RafaFan · 29/08/2026 22:39

81Claire81 · 28/08/2026 19:29

It is genuinely worrying how many people on that thread only think this is wrong because of the genetic problems, completely failing to acknowledge the "ick factor." It's proper creepy!!

Expecting humans to avoid mating with close family is not an unreasonable standard, it is basic biology. You would expect a Jack Russell terrier to mate with its cousin, but human beings are supposed to know better. People should not even have these creepy desires in the first place, and it is baffling that some wronguns try to brush off that reaction as if it is normal.

That immediate turn off is not just an arbitrary feeling, science actually has a name for it: the Westermarck effect. Evolutionary biologists have shown that humans naturally develop a psychological aversion to people they grow up around or share close genetic markers with. It is nature's hardwired defence mechanism, evolved specifically to protect our species from the severe genetic degradation caused by inbreeding. The instinctual disgust people feel is literally evolutionary biology doing its job.

Yet, relying on natural taboos alone clearly is not working when coercive family structures push people into these unions anyway. For young women especially, saying no to a cousin often means standing up to an entire extended family network at once. The pressure to retain property, satisfy elders, or secure visas turns consent into an illusion, leaving women isolated under the thumb of in laws who double as blood relatives. When basic boundaries and social norms are ignored by wronguns, the law must step in to protect vulnerable individuals from coercive pressure.

It's interesting though that this "ick factor" is not felt by everyone, as evidenced by the many posts on here from people who are related to or know people in cousin relationships which are not forced or arranged. I mentioned in an earlier post that I know a married couple of my generation (aged 50 ish) who are first cousins. They're just ordinary people living ordinary lives, both intelligent and highly educated. As far as I know they had a pretty regular upbringing, knew each other as kids etc.

SnowFrogJelly · 29/08/2026 22:50

Totaldramallama · 29/08/2026 21:18

What on earth does be careful what you say mean 😂

It is disgusting because it is incest. Not that hard to understand

It’s not incest.. it’s legal
and it’s not disgusting

try to get your facts right love

SnowFrogJelly · 29/08/2026 22:55

Missey85 · 29/08/2026 15:36

It might be considered normal in your family but they would say that if their doing it themselves 🤢 it's incest and gross

It’s not incest it’s not gross and it doesn’t merit a stupid green face if the two people involved are consenting adults and remain happily married for many years.. there are so many worse things happening in the world right now

Totaldramallama · 29/08/2026 22:58

SnowFrogJelly · 29/08/2026 22:55

It’s not incest it’s not gross and it doesn’t merit a stupid green face if the two people involved are consenting adults and remain happily married for many years.. there are so many worse things happening in the world right now

Of course it is incest. They are related. And if you read this thread you will seen the main concern is intergenerational cousin marriage leads to genetic issues and disabilities. How can you possible argue that it's fine?

SnowFrogJelly · 29/08/2026 23:10

First cousin marriage is generally not classified as legal incest in many regions

SnowFrogJelly · 29/08/2026 23:12

Check your facts first.. I don’t really care about the thread, it’s fine in my family

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