1st cousin marriage

[Wiseplumnet]

AIBU to ask your opinion on 1st cousin marriage?.I have read that the government is looking to ban it. I know it is more prevelent ( but declining) in the UK among people of Asian origin. I am not coming from a judgemental or racist angle. I am just interested to know how mum'snetters of all ethnicities feel about marriage between 1st cousin's. I know it used to be more common in the west at one time, apart from keeping money/property in families, people travelled less widely, so there was less choice of marriage partners.I worked with a girl ( White British) who was in a secret relationship with her 1st cousin and they are very reluctant to tell their family, so there seems to be a cultural taboo in 1st cousins being romantically involved.Genetic factors resulting in disabilities (statistically twice as many as in unrelated parents) is sometimes given as a reason for banning cousin marriage, however we have genetic screening now, and disabilities aren't always serious.As so many babies died in infancy before we had vaccines, better health care etc , it was probably difficult to differentiate whether the close relationship between parents was the cause of any disabilities their children . Speaking for myself,I can't imagine wanting to marry any of the cousins I was brought up with as they seem more like brothers to me, but I could understand why someone may be attracted to a 1st cousin who they first met as adults. Or does it give you the instant 'Yuk' ? Also is banning 1st cousin marriage the same as banning 1st cousin sexual relationships and children, or would that become illegal? Maybe there's no need for a legal ban as the tradition will just die out over time

Should be banned as it’s becoming more prevalent and often ‘forced’.

Agree it should be banned. Was surprised to learn it was still legal when I got married 20 years ago (not to a cousin I may add)!

I know two women who married their first cousins, it seems very weird to me but they have been together a long time and both seem very happy. In both cases they weren't raised together and hadn't met until they were in their late 20s.

A school friend married their first cousin. We all thought it was a bit weird. They hadn't met very often before they started going out together. The families seemed to be OK with it.

I’ve never met anyone who married their first cousin, and here we have a lot of them so in theory it’s harder to avoid.

It should definitely be banned. I think people think this is one of those things that’s only from imported cultures and fail to realise it’s legal in the UK.

The science around genegtics suggesgs its not a good idea. For that reason yes.

Socially... some people know their cousins. Some dont. Its no strangsr than marrying your childhood best friend in many ways.

My PILs are cousins. They found out at the wedding! (Estrangement between adults years earlier!)

To be fair the only people I have ever known have a relationship with their 1st cousin are white, British and people were 'too polite' to comment on it. I know it does go on elsewhere, but I would support a ban to bring us in line with other countries. How you enforce it though, when living together is the norm I don't know. It was easier to introduce in other countries years ago because being married was the social norms and there are clear checks and balances at the point of marriage.

It’s a very bad idea - would welcome a ban.

Also, in the UK historically its something the Upper class did, not that long ago either.

It should definitely be banned.

It's not something I'd personally go for and it does strike me as odd.

That said, Fanny Price, the heroine of Jane Austen's "Mansfield Park", married her first cousin to the happiness of most.

King Richard III apparently gave thought to marrying his niece Princess Elizabeth of York (with whom may have had an affair) after his wife died, but the nobles and Parliament were having none of it and put their foot down.

I'd forgive the former but not the latter.

I know some (white) first cousins who are married and their kids are fine. I do think they’re a bit weird because even my cousins who are objectively pretty good looking would be repulsive to me as I grew up with them. The genetic issues normally come in when it’s been several generations of first cousin marriage which is common in some Asian communities.

I think it needs to be banned, but I think it needs to be policed and enforced. If we ban it here, people will just drag young girls off to be forced to marry their cousins. We need a better safeguarding framework around it and we need to explicitly prioritise the safety of women and girls.

Yup it should be banned.

Genetically is not good and morally don’t screw your family.

I know someone (white British) who married her first cousin and they had kids. Seems so weird to me, especially as they’re a close family so they saw each other a lot growing up. Didn’t even have to change her surname 😬

Should be banned. And any children born to that marriage risk deformities. At the end of the day its inbreeding

Gross and should be banned.

Find it very odd especially if they’ve grown up together.
Overall I’d welcome a ban.

It should be banned. It’s cleaner to have a blanket ban than to say we can’t have generations of it but one offs are okay. Where do you draw the line then? Just stop it altogether. It happened in the Spanish royal family and ended up with awful genetic physical and cognitive issues after several generations.

Shouldn't be banned at all. We allow LGBT marriages. 2 consenting adults. The risk for a one-off one is minimal. We don't tell people who have genetic issues to not reproduce do well. If someone has Huntington's should we ban them from having kids?

It should be banned.

It would be if it wasn’t one of those ‘but we might offend a minority’ topics.

Which makes no sense if it is the minority bearing much of the brunt of the problem.

Laws should be made based on what is evidentially supported as right, and to protect people from harm.

Not based on ‘feelings’ like being offended

We allow LGBT marriages.

If you think that's relevant, I think you might have missed some biology lessons at school.

We don’t ban people with genetic illnesses from having children, even something extremely severe like huntingdon’s with a 50% chance of your child having it and a 100% fatality rate. ETA - and actually the comparison would be banning someone with Huntingdon’s from even getting married.
So I find the “we must ban it for the children” argument disingenuous tbh.

What on EARTH does same sex marriage have to do with this?

Your point about genetic disorders is an ethical discussion worth having, and relevant, but not sexuality, which is entirely a matter of opinion, not science.

I agree it should be banned. I only know personally one first cousin marriage (white British) but come across a lot of disabilities through work due to consanguinity in Asian families and it’s heartbreaking.

Sorry but it’s too weird. My child and my sibling’s child? How is that anything other than incest?