To expect MoH to refund hen accommodation after we were refused access?

[Hennightmare]

I attended a hen party at the weekend - Friday to Sunday, staying close to a seaside resort in a private accommodation. I paid my share in advance - nearly £300.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by the owner who refused entry on the basis that hen parties (and same sex groups/stags) are not allowed and this is stated in the booking terms and conditions and elsewhere on the website. Despite reasoning, the owner was not backing down, and said there’d been an incident with a same sex group two weekends ago which required costly repairs.

MoH said she was aware of other hens who had stayed and this is how she found the place on instagram. She was told no refund would be given as there wouldn’t be time to let it again for the weekend.

We managed to find budget hotel rooms in the area but this scuppered the plans which were in place for the house - games etc.

I have looked myself and it is prominent on the website about the rules around hen parties etc. It is clear there has been inconsistent approaches in the past though.

Should the MoH cover us for her mistake? I am out of pocket after the hotel booking.

YABU - suck it up, it happened
YANBU - her mistake, she should offer to cover it

Honestly @Hennightmare you know that the MOH is being a complete CF.

I think this is really poor form and really highlights your poor values - the MOH, the bride and you.

The spa day is honestly such a fucking batshit suggestion and insulting to all the other hens.

MOH needs to own up. You cannot be a bystander anymore. You have to pick a side. It sounds like you will capitulate and fall in line with the MOH and the bride - what a coven you are, you deserve each other.

BTW - all the hens will be pissed off with the bride and MOH if nothing changes so if that's what they are so worried about - that's already happened.
I hope none of the hens buy the bride a present as they've already spent £430

@Hennightmare Sorry but I really think you have let yourself down here.

MOH offers you your money back in exchanged for not revealing what you know and you were thinking about it, but before you responded they transferred it to you (or at least that is what you are claiming) as the bride had your bank details and gave them to the MOH.

Now they are sending an extract of the landlords response and claiming the 10% refund for a spa visit for them and you are still keeping quiet - sorry OP but you have now crossed the line.

You need to copy all messages and exchanges before anyone deletes anything.

Personally I would message back and ask for the full and unedited response from the accommodation. I would also consider going public about what has happened although in doing so you will blow your relationship with the MOH and potentially the bride but morally I think you need to tell the truth now. You have your money!

I think you are now becoming just as divisive as them,

Well yes, that’s all true and fair up until the point the MOH got the email saying no hen parties. At that point she took a unilateral decision to continue knowing something she should have told the group.

This is astounding. The hens have the right to know that their money has been purposefully chanced on and effectively stolen since the MOH refused the refund and knew they wouldn’t be able to stay there.

They also have the right to know that the bride is blackmailing people and has covered this up. They need the chance to decide if they want to attend the brides wedding and waste more money on it because I know I sure wouldn’t wedding or no wedding! The bride believes that her wedding is more important than £3000 of other people’s money. People that are supposed to be her friends! Scandalous cheek of the pair of them. I’ve never heard of anything like it.

Yes and she was wrong to do that, I agree. However, had someone actually checked the details of the accommodation upon booking, they could have pointed this out to the MOH, and enquiries could have been made to see if the accommodation would allow them. She couldn't simply ignore if if someone else had stepped in and said, hang on, it says no hens are allowed.

My God, she's an even cheekier fucker than she's already been. So she's using the partial refund to treat herself & the bride who was never even out of pocket.

That's even if she hasn't doctored the amount when sharing the "extract" with the group.

I think you need to speak up with your opinion that the £300 should be refunded to the hens, it's irrelevant that she's transferred you £130. She still owes you another £170 anyway.

Would she even be able to afford to refund it? What would the total figure be/number of atendees?

I was supportive of you OP as can be seen by my previous posts however I now think you’re being deceitful towards the other hens by not speaking up about things now they have escalated. You’ve taken their money and seem to be doing exactly as the bride and MoH wanted ie keep quiet, don’t try and get anyone’s money back or tell them what has actually happened. You are keeping the truth from them which is unfair especially as it includes their money.

I wonder what you would be doing if you hadn’t received some of your money back?

Seems to be now oh well I’m ok, got money back, why rock the boat as I’m fine thanks.

if you don’t speak up about this you’re just as bad as the MoH and bride.

It’s only the one person (who is someone I’m relatively friendly with/knew before the hen) who has opposed the proposed use of the refund. MoH has therefore said she’s proceeding as planned given the majority position - taking silence as acceptance.

The girl who disagreed is kicking off and said she’s writing a Google review tonight for the venue which will be scathing.

My hands are tied - I have been put in an impossible position.

Bride to be doesn't wand any stress, or fall outs, in the lead up to her wedding day. Also bride to be: willing to go on a spa day, on the back of her friends refunded money, when she wasn't even out of pocket herself in the first place!

I can see a few last minute drop outs to the wedding itself, and even more people (if they do still go to wedding) juat slowly and gradually distancing themselves from bride after the wesding.

If I were the bride, I would be insisting to my MoH that everyone gets their £30 back.

Why are your hands tied?

You never replied to the email bribing you with £130 in return for your sharing what you know.

I have supported you up to this point, but now i think you're being very dishonest, and unfair to the other hens who have lost out.

If I start WW3 then it will have implications for my friend’s wedding. I can’t bring myself to do that.

What have you actually SAID on the WA chat?

Am really confused as to why your hands are tied @Hennightmare

@Hennightmare Your hands are only tied because of your apathy and poor decision making.

The very least you can do is contact MOH and tell her the spa idea is fucking stupid and tone deaf

I think your friend (the bride) agreeing, and going to, a spa at the cost of everyone else's 10% refund could also have implications for her wedding day ...

I don’t think they are. You have options- you just don’t want to rock the boat and seems like you’d like to keep your refund.

You’re not coming out of this very well now. Just get it all out in the open so the hens have full knowledge of what’s happened. Keeping info from them is deceitful and nasty.

Instead of this option you are actively choosing to keep quiet and keep your refund.

Oh give over

Ii am sure a group of women can put on smiles for the wedding - stop conflating the 2 situations.

Yes they are linked, but they are also 2 different things - the MoH keeping people's money, and her deciding what a partial refund should be spent on is NOTHING to do with a wedding and all about her outrageous conduct! Get a backbone fgs

B2B has contributed to any shitstorm by not insisting on everyone receiving a share of the refund at the very least.

She obviously agrees that the MoH is responsible for everyone losing their £300.

She should do something about it.

Really poor behaviour from the MoH and bride. Personally I would message the group chat stating what happened and that you were bribed £300 to keep quiet. I would then decline the wedding invitation and end the friendship with bride and Moh. I wouldn't want friends like these people.

If feeling generous I would split the £300 between the people who missed out, but if I needed that money I would keep it and encourage the other ladies to pursue their share.

I haven’t received £300.

This. Incredibly cowardly behaviour. The only one with any integrity is being badly let down.

Do you know any of the other people involved? Will you see them again? Were you all strangers before the hen weekend?

Your ‘friend’ the bride is a grifter.

And the MoH deserves to be taken to the small claims court.

You should let the other women know what’s going on.

I certainly wouldn’t be attending any wedding after this, do you honestly want to maintain a friendship with this woman?

I’m not friends with MoH.