To expect MoH to refund hen accommodation after we were refused access?

[Hennightmare]

I attended a hen party at the weekend - Friday to Sunday, staying close to a seaside resort in a private accommodation. I paid my share in advance - nearly £300.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by the owner who refused entry on the basis that hen parties (and same sex groups/stags) are not allowed and this is stated in the booking terms and conditions and elsewhere on the website. Despite reasoning, the owner was not backing down, and said there’d been an incident with a same sex group two weekends ago which required costly repairs.

MoH said she was aware of other hens who had stayed and this is how she found the place on instagram. She was told no refund would be given as there wouldn’t be time to let it again for the weekend.

We managed to find budget hotel rooms in the area but this scuppered the plans which were in place for the house - games etc.

I have looked myself and it is prominent on the website about the rules around hen parties etc. It is clear there has been inconsistent approaches in the past though.

Should the MoH cover us for her mistake? I am out of pocket after the hotel booking.

YABU - suck it up, it happened
YANBU - her mistake, she should offer to cover it

Yes I've read the thread, all of this has been discussed :).

Only because the rest of the group apparently couldn’t be arsed to look at something they were paying £300 for.
And yes I KNOW she got an email saying they would get refunded if they were a hen party.
Bet she wishes she gave you all the money back and left it for someone else to sort.
Although I expect there would still be a MN post ..”AIBU MoH booked the wrong Airbnb and expects us to sort a great hen party with only 2 weeks notice”

Exactly! If she had told the owner about the hen at the very beginning and negotiated a damage deposit, I doubt the owner—after already agreeing—would have emailed later saying that hens are not allowed and canceled the reservation.

I think MOH is totally in the wrong. I have organised a hen or two and it is stressful so geel for her with that one. However, if you are specifically told on more than one occasion no hen parties, why would you chance it?
Also it was £130 pound extra as some people have pointed out, but I imagine the contrast in accommodation and activities was massive.
I feel sorry for the bride in this scenario as I can imagine the ill feeling towards the MOH and I just hope that it doesn't tarnish the wedding.

I do agree with your point of view, I think it can be difficult to organise a group of 10 people and make sure everyone's needs are met, it will be part of the reason why she didn't want any 'help' .. the more people jumping in with ideas/putting their own preferences above the group, the more difficult it is to get anywhere.

I could get behind her chancing the booking, knowing it was advertised as a hen/stag party location elsewhere and same sex groups being allowed at owners discretion.. I think a LOT of people would take the chance at that part and play dumb, but everything changed with that email, at that point She KNEW their same sex party wasn't going to be allowed to stay there, and she was offered a refund.. as she wasn't the one paying she should 100% have put it to the group, it was not her money to gamble.. that part isn't a genuine 'mistake', it was a deliberate decision that backfired, that is 100% her fuckup and she should absolutely be covering the extra costs everyone else incurred.

The bit that has thrown me though is that she would be so brazen as to all rock up at the same time to go in, at the very least she should have made arrangements to go first with maybe one other person, get the keys and then all go later, she must be pretty arrogant to think a same sex group would be allowed in when they have now been specifically told they are not allowed, it's not a leap to think the owner, who has been very clear, would be checking up on them!

MoH has shared an extract from an email sent to her by the owner in the group. He states he is refunding £300 (10%) as a gesture of goodwill. MoH suggests this is because he’s trying to prevent negative review(s).

MoH says she has spoken with a couple of the attendees and they agree that as it’s ’such a small amount’ and only amounts to £30 each, that it would be nice for her to accompany the bride to be on a trip to a spa in the run up to the Wedding given the stress of the weekend. The £300 would be used for this.

She has asked for anyone who disagrees to say so - one person has already replied to say they think the money should be equally refunded.

I’m in a very awkward position given I’ve been given a refund of sorts. I do think MoH is being a CF to use the money on a spa though!

I'm sorry what?! Your money is going to be used towards HER going on a spa weekend with the bride??!

WTAF

If I read a review that stated the owner didnt refund us for breaking the terms and conditions I would think good on them.
Her wanting to use the money on a spa day for herself is ridiculous!

🤣 yeah ok, I’m kind of done defending her.

I still stand by my view that more could’ve been asked by others in order to avoid it but in this situation, she should have offered everyone a share of the money to be refunded instead of suggesting it’s spent on the two of them.

What a messy situation…

She really is the gift that keeps giving isn't she

Can i come as your plus 1 to the wedding? The drama will be off the scale lol!

And why only an extract? Why not the full email? Is she hiding the bit where they point out that she was explicitly told no hens?

Almost certainly I imagine!

By taking her hush money and not sharing the information with the rest of the group, you're just as bad as is IMO.

It will 100% come back to bite you in the arse.

MoH has shared an extract from an email sent to her by the owner in the group. He states he is refunding £300 (10%) as a gesture of goodwill. MoH suggests this is because he’s trying to prevent negative review(s).

An extract suggests that there's more information in the rest of the message that would put her in a bad light.

And no, the money shouldn't be spent on a spa day for her and the bride, what a cheek!

It could of course. But I’m not sure how, unless one of the two decide to tell. But they are definitely trying to draw a line ahead of the Wedding. I feel bad for my friend (bride to be), so I don’t plan on causing any more drama by disclosing the payment I received.

You need to speak up OP. Your passive attitude to this could become incriminating.

Speak up and tell the MOH and Bride that you certainly do not accept the terms of their refund and see it as very dishonest. and also give your firm NO! to the suggestion that they reward themselves for their dishonesty with a spa day.

Speak up and tell the hens about your refund and the bribe that came with it.

Well you fit nicely into the friend group then, don't you.

Her cheek is never ending. She wants to use your refund on herself and the bride- I’m astounded.

I think this could backfire on you very badly if / when the group find out you have had a refund and they haven’t. It seems very awkward now anyway so I’d bite the bullet and get it all in the open. If I was one of the group and found out one person had been refunded and not everyone I’d be furious and it looks bad that you are keeping quiet.

There will be way more drama if they find out later. You're not doing yourself any favours keeping quiet

WTAF!!! 😳 This heavily cropped email and £300 spa thing is just off the scale cheeky fuckery - she really does have no shame!!

You have to either refund the payment she has sent and enlist the group to enforce payments for all or accept it and thank her in the WAG group suggesting they all send her their bank details.
Absolutely unbelievable

The MOH fucked up big time. She knew when you all turned up at the property that hen/same sex groups were no longer permitted. She stood there, argued the toss with the owner, whilst telling everyone in the hen party, that she didn't know. She'd also been advised well in advance of the change by the owner, who offered a full refund if the booking was cancelled 7 days in advance....which she chose to ignore.

Morally, the MOH should be refunding everyone their share and the bride should be upset and extremely angry that her MOH took such a huge risk with other people's money. If I'd been the bride, I'd feel dreadful that all these people have lost money because the person I chose to be MOH turned out to be an incompetent liar. It's not the bride's fault this has happened, but equally expecting people to just simply brush it all away and lose money isn't very supportive of her hens either.

Ok that's mental.

The fact that she's not sharing the refund is bloody outrageous.

the bride is also a CF if she's ok with this.

You need to share about the money you received.

Holding out for a spa invite, now you’re part of the gang?