To expect MoH to refund hen accommodation after we were refused access?

[Hennightmare]

I attended a hen party at the weekend - Friday to Sunday, staying close to a seaside resort in a private accommodation. I paid my share in advance - nearly £300.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by the owner who refused entry on the basis that hen parties (and same sex groups/stags) are not allowed and this is stated in the booking terms and conditions and elsewhere on the website. Despite reasoning, the owner was not backing down, and said there’d been an incident with a same sex group two weekends ago which required costly repairs.

MoH said she was aware of other hens who had stayed and this is how she found the place on instagram. She was told no refund would be given as there wouldn’t be time to let it again for the weekend.

We managed to find budget hotel rooms in the area but this scuppered the plans which were in place for the house - games etc.

I have looked myself and it is prominent on the website about the rules around hen parties etc. It is clear there has been inconsistent approaches in the past though.

Should the MoH cover us for her mistake? I am out of pocket after the hotel booking.

YABU - suck it up, it happened
YANBU - her mistake, she should offer to cover it

MOH should really have put it to the group when she received the message about hen groups not being allowed, and give everyone a say. The owners had already stated it was at their discretion and she decided to hide it from them, so really it is all on her.

I wouldn't be asking her for the £300 back, but I would expect her to cough up for what the extra accommodation cost everyone, I can understand chancing it but she should have gone first on her own to make sure before all rocking up just to get turned away!

The owner is also ridiculous, they should be asking who is coming if they are so concerned about same sex groups, meeting a group of 10 people to tell them in person they cannot stay and will not receive a refund of the HUGE amount they have paid, must be incredibly stressful and risky, just do your due diligence instead!.. especially with the people that booked prior to them cracking down on it.

It wasn’t genuine. She chanced it and ignored the email saying no hens.

Wow! What a comment.
Stupid woman should have covered the cost of the budget hotel you all had to get at the least.
Id be mortified if I lost so many people’s money, especially people I don’t even know. Then, I’d not have gambled with their money.

The owners changing the rules so close to the date is very poor though. Something like that should have been a phone call, not an email that may not get noticed. I feel the should have honoured existing bookings, can’t change the rules afterwards. Clearly they allows it at the time of booking as it says so on the contract.
Small claims court - state the 7 day email wasn’t seen. Can’t change the contract after the fact.

If you read all OP'S updates, you would know that it wasn't a mistake. She was offered a refund if it was a hen party booking. She didn't take that opportunity, so the lost money is completely down to her.

Imo she should be refunding the 8 hens who are each down £300 (aka a Friday night out in London)...

@DraigCymraeg Yes, I've booked through Airbnb many times and there's a section in the property description titled "House Rules."

I've just looked up a couple of places that I've stayed at - one states: "Strictly no stag or hen groups" and another says, "No parties or events." The second one even says that the person booking must be at least 25!

These types of rules are very common and slating a property because the MOH refused to adhere to them is horrible.

I think this is a reasonable response to have. I'd perhaps create a separate WhatsApp group for the 8 women out of pocket here and propose you ask the MoH to either refund all of you in full, or at the very least give you half back. If £300 is just the cost of an evening out for the MoH, then all she's giving up is a week's worth of partying. But I think it's grossly unfair on all of you, who are spending more £££ than this on the wedding I'm sure, for the bride to ask you to just give it a rest.

Might be the reason the venue is inconsistent, they don’t let you in if you look trashy and OPs group looked trashy.

This is so tough. Most hen dos I've been on including one I helped to organise were in venues that stated they did not accept hen parties so it is common for people to say the booking is for a birthday or friend reunion. It's almost every large property around here that has these rules. I think it's crazy the venue owner took the money - they didn't provide a service. It is very frustrating but you can't really expect one person to pay, she must already be so embarrassed.

I imagine the owner trusted the previous group wasn't a hen party and allowed them to check in using the key safe. Their trust was betrayed and damage was caused. As a result they decided to double check next time by meeting the group at check in.

Nope. The owner sent MoH an email after the event two weeks prior to say that T&Cs had changed, and that hens were no longer discretionary because of the damage done to the property. That email was sent in good time for MoH to cancel and get a full refund. She didn’t - choosing to chance it instead because she thought entry was via keysafe. The fact that the owner turned up in person is an indication that they knew she was a CF.

I do have a bit of sympathy for the MOH as she had made all of the arrangements for 10 people, and the most important aspect, ie the accommodation, became unsuitable at very short notice when it would have been hard to find somewhere else.
I don’t agree with the decision she made not to discuss this with everyone, but I can sort of see why she took the chance.
What I can’t understand is why, knowing that a Hen Party would not be accepted, she didn’t at least try to check in with just a couple of others in normal, non Hen Party attire.
I’m in 2 minds about her refunding. Yes it was her fault, and she caused others to be out of pocket for alternative accommodation, but she passed on the payments to the accommodation owner, so it’s not like she still has it. I can see why others think she should pay to put things right though.

It's her mistake and she should cover it. But are you going to request this? If she didn't block anyone from doing their own checks then you will need to see it as a lesson learned.

Same as others said. This is why I would never let someone else plan my holiday. I nearly went on a hen do abroad and immediately, the organiser got the price wrong, because she was looking at the wrong fucking year 😒😅 - it was actually twice as expensive. No way would I have trusted those airheads to book me a hair appointment, never mind a trip abroad.

If I'm not the one booking, then I'm asking for receipts / telephone numbers / Ts&Cs etc so I can check everything myself.

That's a separate matter and not the issue at hand.

But personally I think the amount of money guests are supposed to spend for weddings, hen/stag do's is too much now and expecting the hens to pay for the brides Hen Do accommodation is too much. If someone wants to gift it, fair enough but it shouldn't be an expectation as many do not have that sort of money.

She was offered a full refund and passed on it.

It wasn't a mistake or an oversight, her actions clearly show she didn't think she would get caught!

Arrogant much! I hope you don’t see a penny back.

Oh the basis of this, I've changed my vote: she was a numpty not to cancel when she got that email. She could have found another house at short notice, that didn't have that rule. Your loss of £300 is on her.

Well yes. But the point you were replying to was that she’s human and mistakes happen.
Shes just been the job of MoH by the bride, rather than being a professional party planner. She’s put her own time and effort into sorting a big event for a random group. Unfortunately the bride picked someone who thought a key box would be worth the risk. The alternative was putting more untrained time and effort into an alternative at short notice.
Personally I think any compensation should come from the bride.

I think you are missing an important fact here. The MOH selected accommodation where it states that Hen/Stag do's are only accepted with prior permission, she did not declare it when she booked so as far as the landlord is concerned it is not a hen/stag do.

Then due to a costly experience with a Hen/Stag do, the accommodation emailed out 7 days before they were due and explained this and said if they were a Hen do, they needed to cancel and they would get a full refund at that point. This wasn't the owner changing the rules, he was firing a shot over the bow as he was suspicious it was a hen do but the MOH had not requested permission as stated on the pre-booking info. The MOH ignored it and thought she could get away with it. She should have come clean to the Hen do attendees at this point - she did not.

When they were turned away from the accommodations, she conveniently did not have her booking email. If she was innocent she would have but I can kind of understand why she said she didn't on the spot as it would change the mood of the weekend for her, if she was to blame.

If they go to the small claims court (which would not be my first port of call without giving her a chance to address this amicably), the rest of the attendees trusted her to organise this, a genuine mistake could have been addressed when the refund was offered and she decided to risk it. That is her responsibility and that why this wasn't a genuine mistake it was a gamble and you do not gamble with other peoples money.

They lost the accommodation that cost them £300 each and then had to pay again for further accommodation and lost time finding somewhere else and the capacity to undertake some of the activities due to the mistake.

£300 for a weekend away is a stretch for many, having to pay that again when they got there due to her gamble will be beyond the means of many.

Absolutely this.

This was not a mistake, a genuine mistake I could accept, but this was not a mistake. She booked without advising it was a hen do and seeking permission as per the T&Cs, I could get my head around that as a mistake. But not when they wrote to her and re-iterated no Hen Do's, and you can get a full refund if you advise now. The MOH decided to gamble that they would not get caught. And as it was the MOH who gambled with their money, not the bride, the MOH needs to put this right.

She doesn't even seem contrite, I would have been mortified and apologised and she hadn't even admitted to anyone but the bride what she did.

One of the girls who went has put a message in the group tonight. It’s politely worded but is along the lines of ‘now the weekend is over what can be done about us all being £300 out of pocket and what went wrong in the build up to be denied entry’. This person isn’t a friend of MoH either so I suspect they are also extremely unimpressed with events.

Sorry can’t find the post to quote - we did all offer to chip in for the bride to be’s accommodation too - MoH insisted she’d cover it herself.

I wouldn’t let it go, you basically paid double for accommodation because she thought it was ok to gamble with your money!