To expect MoH to refund hen accommodation after we were refused access?

[Hennightmare]

I attended a hen party at the weekend - Friday to Sunday, staying close to a seaside resort in a private accommodation. I paid my share in advance - nearly £300.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by the owner who refused entry on the basis that hen parties (and same sex groups/stags) are not allowed and this is stated in the booking terms and conditions and elsewhere on the website. Despite reasoning, the owner was not backing down, and said there’d been an incident with a same sex group two weekends ago which required costly repairs.

MoH said she was aware of other hens who had stayed and this is how she found the place on instagram. She was told no refund would be given as there wouldn’t be time to let it again for the weekend.

We managed to find budget hotel rooms in the area but this scuppered the plans which were in place for the house - games etc.

I have looked myself and it is prominent on the website about the rules around hen parties etc. It is clear there has been inconsistent approaches in the past though.

Should the MoH cover us for her mistake? I am out of pocket after the hotel booking.

YABU - suck it up, it happened
YANBU - her mistake, she should offer to cover it

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The MOH is not helping herself here, has she actually apologised to the group for what happened?

Given the Bride has told you the truth, and assuming the MOH is included in the group text, I would hang fire and see what the MOHs response is. I would perhaps respond to the group post along the lines of "Fair question" so the poster does not feel alone but neither are you stirring the pot.

No she hasn’t apologised, her only comments on it have been to criticise the accommodation/owner (and their appearance).

3 of us have reacted to the message, there’s 3/4 who are close to the MoH so I doubt will speak up.

She is not looking good here, when someone makes a genuine mistake they apologise. Hang fire and see what she says, her and not her friends.

How have you reacted to the message? Just an emoji, or actually with some integrity?! Back up the only lass with the balls to call this out!!!?

A pile on is pointless at this point - I’ll await her response first.

I would do more than react to the message. I would post and say yes how are we getting our refunds, do you need bank details?

Don't leave the brave message sender isolated, post to support her.

Mmm, supporting the lady asking for this fair refund is neither pointless nor a pile on, and you know it. The truth is, you're scared and would rather moan on Mumsnet than do anything about it.

Yes, I am petrified. In true Mumsnet fashion, I am hiding behind my sofa shaking and sobbing.

🙄

I would absolutely send a message supporting brave hen (BH).

The ones who won’t speak up will be the type of passive people who “don’t like drama or confrontation” but will most likely bitch about the MoH behind her back instead of being direct.

OP, I’m very sorry that you’re in this shit predicament, but if you want your £300 back use your words!

Oh OP that’s so disappointing. It’s not a pile on. MoH made an absolute dogs dinner of this from start to finish and now eight people are out of pocket. This person seems to be the only one prepared to hold her feet to the fire. She needs support.

You can eyeroll all you want, but you know what needs to be done.

The hen that raised the question in the group chat has raised a fair and diplomatic question, other hens need to acknowledge the validity of the question, that's not piling on, that's acknowledging the issue and agreeing it is a question that needs answering to the group.

Piling on is going in guns blazing and not giving the MOH a chance to explain and apologise without feeling she is up for a public execution. And its important that this doesn't become an all out bun fight at this point and as it will upset the bride unduly and because it doesn't need to go that route unless the MOH does not accept responsibility.

Bear in mind here is that the Poster, only knows what actually happened because the bride told her. If it comes to court, unless they get it from the MOHs own mouth, they will then need to rely on the bride to confirm the truth of the situation. Getting the MOH to address it by text, is a smart move.

But the bride needs to appreciate that people have lost money because the MOH gambled and lost. Not everyone has the luxury of being able to stand the loss.

She has already said three of them have replied.

There comes a point in many a MN thread when I wonder if the thread-starter is more interested in dragging the thread out than in resolving their describes RL issue.

If you can find proof that it’s an inconsistent policy (ie insta pics of groups), then you could threaten the small claims court.
They can’t expect to keep your money and not provide a service.

And she has done it, she and two others have acknowledged the brave hens text message and should now wait to see what the MOH has to say. She may apologise and shock us all. The fact she hasn't already is pretty bad.

Whether it's an inconsistent policy or not, in this case the owner gave a clear and emphatic no to hen parties, with the option to cancel for full refund. They've absolutely no legal wriggle room to make any kind of claim on the owner. This is all down to the MoH gambling on getting away with it.

I totally understand the frustration OP, but in terms of being "out of pocket", are you not, strictly speaking, out of pocket only by the cost of the budget accommodation? I realise you didn't get the other which you were expecting, but on the basis that it is really about getting together to celebrate the bride's hen, not a holiday of your choice, I think in this circumstance it is a bit fairer to say you were expecting to pay £300 so you are out of pocket by whatever you paid above that.

TBH, I couldn't do this to my friend. I'd just suck it up at this point. Not ideal but it's a big event for her which will get tainted.

Look clearly the MoH fucked up. She’s not a professional MoH shes just the brides friend/family member. It’s on the bride to sort this out IMO. Shes essentially the CEO in this organisation.

@TwinklySquid I agree with SyvanMoon here.

The T&Cs said Hen/Stag by prior permission only, she did not ask for permission and then the owner wrote 2 weeks before confirming absolutely no hens, and offered a refund if the intention was a Hen do, and she ignored it. At the very least she should have put it to the vote, but she didn't, she gambled and then lied about it and still hasn't accepted responsibility.

This is not a situation of the landlords making, this is entirely the MOHs mistake and being derogatory about the £300 and saying that is just a night out in London is not being understanding of the potential financial hardship that could cause other Hens, its minimising her mistake.

She hasn't even apologised,

What is MOH?

They paid £300 each for the accommodation they did not get, they then had to pay again. So the MOH gambled with their £300 and lost, she owes them the £300 and if the replacement accommodation, was more, she owes them the difference too.

Most people have to budget for an event like this and you can't just double it and expect them to swallow it without as much as an acknowledgement of her mistake and an honest apology.

She has already missed three reasonable opportunities to explain. When she got the offer of a refund (1), when they were on the hen weekend (2) and when they returned (3). They have now asked in a very diplomatic manner so lets see if the MOH steps up. She may have something interesting to say that changes the story so asking her is the right thing to do.