To expect MoH to refund hen accommodation after we were refused access?

[Hennightmare]

I attended a hen party at the weekend - Friday to Sunday, staying close to a seaside resort in a private accommodation. I paid my share in advance - nearly £300.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by the owner who refused entry on the basis that hen parties (and same sex groups/stags) are not allowed and this is stated in the booking terms and conditions and elsewhere on the website. Despite reasoning, the owner was not backing down, and said there’d been an incident with a same sex group two weekends ago which required costly repairs.

MoH said she was aware of other hens who had stayed and this is how she found the place on instagram. She was told no refund would be given as there wouldn’t be time to let it again for the weekend.

We managed to find budget hotel rooms in the area but this scuppered the plans which were in place for the house - games etc.

I have looked myself and it is prominent on the website about the rules around hen parties etc. It is clear there has been inconsistent approaches in the past though.

Should the MoH cover us for her mistake? I am out of pocket after the hotel booking.

YABU - suck it up, it happened
YANBU - her mistake, she should offer to cover it

@kiwiane The problem is, however, that the MOH didn't share the owner's recent communications so they couldn't make an informed decision on whether to cancel and accept a full refund.

That's fully on the MOH, she deliberately concealed this from the rest of the group.

@Lacksie But the MOH literally prevented them from receiving a full refund! The owner told her that a hen party wouldn't be allowed to stay and she chose not to inform the rest of the group. If she had, they'd all have their money back already!

Well if it's only Friday night money to her, it would make me sure as hell to go after her for it. I'd contact her and in no uncertain terms give her 7 days to refund your £300. If you hear nothing from her, I'd consider going in with the other hens and collectively taking her to small claims/MCOL.

Fuck her, she deliberately tried it on, knowing she could have got a full refund. Bitch.

Given she 'tried it on' deliberately what exactly was in it for her? She had organised the whole weekend for her friend the bride and a group of other people who, by the sounds of it did not help with the organising, express sincere thanks or offer to contribute to the bride's costs. They did do a lot of complaining however.

Wow.

Did the MOH definitely pay the £3000? Seems a bit dodgy.

If the bride doesn’t want you to make a fuss with MoH about you having spent £300 on accommodation you couldn’t stay in, then it’s up to the bride to reimburse you and the issue quietly goes away. Otherwise you have every right to make a fuss!

This doesn’t mean she has spare 2.5K!

The tacky comment was likely tongue in cheek response to one of the OP posts

Did you miss the bit where they had to fork out for extra accommodation

They didn’t have that weekend. They didn’t get the what they booked and paid for. Because the moh thought she was above the owners rules.

She is human and and has made a mistake /oversight.
I'm pretty sure you have too!

This wasn’t a mistake.

She booked it with a hens considered. Didn’t ask. Place got trashed between booked sneakily and their stay. She got emailed and told if it’s a hen cancel with more than 7 days notice and get a refund NO hens allowed.

She ignored the first rule by trying to be sneaky. Then she ignored the email which offered her a full paid cancellation.

That’s not a mistake or a whoopsie. That’s choices.

Easy to say when it's not you out of pocket.

There's no way I'd just say "Oh well" and write it off. £300 is a lot of money

MoH ignored the email confirming no hen groups and a full refund will be issued when cancelled 7 nights before. She gambled the groups money, without their consent, thinking the rules didn’t apply to her and lost. So she needs to pay up.

MOH is a fool but I suppose if she noticed the hen do ban she might have been worried that people would drop out/the weekend wouldn't be able to go ahead if it was tricky to book an alternative (im not sure if your group would have agreed the budget option?).

Unless she offers a refund theres no way to ask for it without creating massive drama at the wedding

How close are you to the bride? If quite close i would leave it for her sake as a friend

I do have a little sympathy with the MoH here. She made the wrong choice by chancing it but it sounds like the Ts&Cs changed very shortly before the event. No way was she going to be able to find equivilent accommodation for 10 one or two weeks in advance. I think the owner is a bit out of order changing the terms after the booking and so close to the event. She could have asked for a bigger deposit for example and allowed them to still go ahead.
Anyway, to the OP YANBU but I'd wait til after the wedding to pursue it.

Ooh this has changed my mind. I run an air bnb and they actively encourage you to not allow stag/hens (suspect because of the cost to them when difficulties arise) but actually that info can be quite hidden and lots of people miss it. As a result I actively email after a booking is made explaining certain key things such as no parties, quiet hours etc. And I explain breaching these means immediate refusal and no refund. I quite often have people then cancel or email me explaining a situation at that point because they'd not spotted that info on the original booking (I think lots of people flick through the pics, check the location and bedroom numbers and book without reading anything).

If MoH had booked, not fully investigated rules and then been surprised, i would have sympathy for her - especially as you all had the link and didn't pick up on it either, which implies it wasn't that obvious at the time of booking.

However- that email stating cancel now and be fully refunded is really clear and definitely her fault. She could have forwarded it on to you all and said "shall we chance it" or she could've cancelled and found another place at that point. She kept it to herself and that's not really fair at all. As a result, she should reimburse, because this wasn't an accident/oversight and none of the other hens would've seen or been able to access that email.

Awkward about approaching it though - is it worth it to you I guess, because it will make the wedding a little tricky and I think you'll end up with people on your side/her side on this.

So the brides MOH and best friend cost you all your chosen accomodation and 300, yet for the sake of not causing drama, before her wedding, you just have to accept it.

I was torn initially, but after her comment about how casually she spends that on a single night out, I would feel angry and let down by the bride not having your backs here. In fact, I would be mortified in her shoes, and tell everyone not to bother with gifts by way of compensation.

I really dislike people who play fast and loose with others' money. I imagine most in the group aren't single high flyers either.

There is a considerable amount of bad faith here from both the bride and MOH.

Realistically though, if you aren't the type to confront it and ask for reimbursement, I don't imagine there is much more you can do.

However, I would tell the bride her MOH spent your gift budget or I would be very tempted to.

I was wondering what would happen if my friend's group she's just joined, Over 35s Lesbians, booked it. As obviously the group is going to be all female, but excluding a single sex group automatically excludes a lesbian or gay organisation.
Or indeed a Catholic Women's Fellowship on a silent retreat. Hardly likely to be disruptive but also only going to be women.

So I owned a rental static. I clarified this with the owners on the site due to this.

Couples even two sets of couples being gay/lesbian would be fine.

Not sure how we were supposed to ask or verify however.

We couldn’t hold 10 people so never to that large scale. I guess the site owner would have vetted them when giving out our keys as to if they seemed like couples or a hen.

I think you have a good case to ask her to refund you all. It sounds to me like she has not taken any accountability for this. I'd be furious, it's a lot of money and you all had to pay extra for accommodation which you believed was covered.
In my opinion, her out of touch response to her error and her lack of consideration for the financial position of others, makes this much worse. I'd feel awful if I were in her position and there is no way that I would make comments like she did.
Perhaps the rest of you could compose her a message, leaving the bride out of it. She has a choice to either pursue the matter with the host or the bank. Or, alternatively, she can do the decent thing and refund you all. After all, £3000 is only the cost of a few nights out!
Outrageous.

Def sounds like moh should have accepted the hosts refund but didn’t

Read your updates and she gambled with your money so yes I now think she does owe you all.

how stupid and selfish of her

I feel for everyone involved actually.

I can understand why you are pissed off with MofH.

But I have missed things on booking sites before and know it's easily done when you are struggling to find a property to suit everyone's needs - when you finally get something, you may have looked at so many that you get a bit confused about which small print was which..... I know it's sloppy, but it happens.

Providing it was a genuine error (and I guess you will never know for sure) it seems harsh for her to have to pay £3000. I mean, it does depend on her finances - for me that would be the difference between taking my daughter on holiday that summer or not. (And we'd be both be living more frugally than usual for several months, too).

So while it might be fair to charge her, it might not be kind, if you see what I mean.

Can you afford the extra? Has it left you in any kind of hardship?

(Again, I know that has no bearing on what is strictly fair. But it would still influence my actions personally. If I could afford the extra without worrying about it, I'd do the kind thing let it go. If it was going to mean cutting back on my kid's Xmas presents, say, or no haircut for 6 months or whatever, I'd be more minded to try to recoup).