To feel ambushed into providing child care

[chasegirl]

My ex brother in law has booked a holiday next week for a week. He is a single Dad to my nephew. He had child care sorter, I thought anyway. This childcare turns out to be a bit flakey so he has asked me if I can do a few days to help. It would mean staying at his house cos of their pets. I work full time and have a 6 day week next week. He didn't give ne any warning just turned up this evening to ask

Just say no, what is the issue.

Guilt, he could lose money

So many questions.
First one being, he asked, how did you answer?
Or is he on the doorstep waiting for you to consult Mumsnet?

Won't you be the one losing money if you can't work 6 days?

Guilt, he could lose money. He's not here now. He came yesterday to ask me to do 2 days which I agreed thrn turned up again today without warning asking me to do another 3 days

“No, I’m working and unavailable in the evenings”

Really is his problem. He’s booked a holiday. Either he sorts out his kid or he cancels.

Surely you’ve already answered your dilemma in your post - the answer is no because you are working for 6 days.

I wouldn't lose money I'd still be able to work. It's the last minute asking, expecting me to drop my life for those days

How can you do childcare if you’re working 6 days?

Text him now, say you have to work and that you can’t do it.

Nephew is back at school next week

CF.
Get back to him and say no can do.
I think itbis highly manipulative to do what he did, landing up on your door.
Personally I wouldn't give a damn aboutvhis holiday.

Why on earth would you feel guilty because your exBIL might lose money?!

But no, you dont have to say yes. Say no. Point out you also work. Offer whatever you are able/willing to do and leave the rest to him.

Just tell him no. You shouldn't be working and doing childcare at the same time.

What about your work? How can you be off at such short notice

It would be better (and nicer for your nephew) if he was included in his dad’s holiday!

Why did he book a holiday with no secure childcare in place, and on the first week back at school for his DS as well? Wow.

Nephew is back at school next week. My child is 19 so that's not an issue but I'd have my car so she couldn't use it in the evenings

Your sisters ex or your ex’s brother? It would make a difference to me!

You should say no. His finances are his problem, he has not considered his son at all, first week back is always a bit dodgy, new class etc and the son might need his dad.

Why did he book it?

I don't live too far from him but all the back and forth, taking clothes, wash stuff etc is hassle.

How old is your nephew?

No. Why do people struggle so much about saying no. Your lack of planning not my crisis etc.

No idea why he booked it. Childcare was his own brother who apparently has changed plans last minute

What about after school childcare? Will you be working still?

I think the way it’s so last minute would make me say ‘no’ as there’s no time for you to think properly!

Why would you feel guilty about his mistake?

Nephew is 12 so can't be left