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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upper Middle Class not well travelled AIBU?

46 replies

Tabbytiger122 · Today 22:23

There are some very wealthy folk we know & some I'm acquaintances with on fb from college. All seem to run off similar schedule for holidays... Christmas skiing in France/Switzerland (same place every year) Midterm said place again, summer is always spent somewhere in France ,Italy or Greece (but always the same town)
That's it never different countries... it seems to me they are not well travelled & that familiarity is more important than going somewhere new for the heck of it! Aibu?

OP posts:
Tabbytiger122 · Today 22:30

It's just a pattern I noticed. I hate returning to the same place twice..

OP posts:
Lexibletheflexible · Today 22:30

We go to Spain a couple of times every year. We stay in the same place. As a result, our kids can all speak Spanish fairly well alongside learning it at school.

Our neighbours do the skiing thing and they go to France for Summers. Their kids can ski well and they speak French quite well.

EBearhug · Today 22:31

Does it matter? Having wealth enables you to be well-travelled, but it's not a requirement thst you therefore must be.

Pootles34 · Today 22:31

Sorry what's your aibu? Are you being unreasonable to know someone who doesn't like travelling?

montysmaw · Today 22:31

How about you do you?

HewasH2O · Today 22:32

Family property?

I'm not sure why your perception of their class is relevant. If you like somewhere, you like somewhere.

FaceEatingLeopard · Today 22:33

Truly struggling to see what this has got to do with you? And this 'class' nonsense? What's that got to do with the price of eggs?

believerr · Today 22:34

Why does it bother you? Maybe they travelled more widely when they were younger – that seems common among people I know. Once you have kids/more financial obligations, you can’t just jet off to the other side of the world.

Tabbytiger122 · Today 22:37

Just an observation, no bad will intended at all. I just saw that these families much , much wealthier than me have a very set schedule for their family holidays & they go to the same places every year during the holidays.

OP posts:
Tabbytiger122 · Today 22:38

believerr · Today 22:34

Why does it bother you? Maybe they travelled more widely when they were younger – that seems common among people I know. Once you have kids/more financial obligations, you can’t just jet off to the other side of the world.

They are jetting off on very expensive holidays French Alps or Switzerland skiing at midterm.. my point was it is always the same places never anywhere new for the heck of it!

OP posts:
Firetreev · Today 22:41

Tabbytiger122 · Today 22:37

Just an observation, no bad will intended at all. I just saw that these families much , much wealthier than me have a very set schedule for their family holidays & they go to the same places every year during the holidays.

You are not being unreasonable. I know quite a few upper middle class families and they take the same holidays year after year. It's very boring, but then it doesn't affect me one jot and they're happy so....

Megifer · Today 22:44

Whats with all these "I saw someone eat Cornflakes at 11.30am AIBU to think this is unusual?" type fart arse threads on here recently?

MinimumRage · Today 22:45

I agree with your observation OP.

Smart / upper middle like to holiday in places that are viewed as the best of their kind eg certain ski resorts or Greek islands or specific hotels/resorts.

My theory is that they don’t want much risk in a holiday as they want high quality service/amenities/food so happy to pay for dependable quality.

You rarely hear smart/ upper middle talking about backpacking / inter railing / etc because they dont want the inevitable hassle/low quality experience of waiting for transport / eating in basic places / going to a so so beach for the day.

Doesn’t necessarily mean less well travelled - you get dependable luxury nearly everywhere now - but it’s a more limited circuit (and potentially mindset).

MelonSorbet · Today 22:52

I have relatives who are the same. Wealthy enough to go anywhere they want, and yet they go back to Greece year after year. Whereas my travels (on a much lower budget!) have taken me all over the world.

50Balesofgrey · Today 22:53

Tabbytiger122 · Today 22:38

They are jetting off on very expensive holidays French Alps or Switzerland skiing at midterm.. my point was it is always the same places never anywhere new for the heck of it!

Why do you care?

NelferchyLlyn · Today 22:54

This is us, we ski every year at the same resort, then holiday there at the summer.

If you have a holiday home there, you make the most of it?

I wouldnt say I am upper middle class at all (was brought up very poor on a council estate). Luckily some good financial decisions many years agp allowed me to buy a lovely 2nd home in a very beauiful part of the world.

I travelled loads after uni, now I just want to go and make the most of my investment. Every time I go there, I'm very thankful and can't quite believe how lucky I am to own it.

Helenbelena · Today 22:57

What on earth is ‚upper middle class‘?

What level of income or wealth is required?

MeetMeOnTheCorner · Today 22:58

People like different things don’t they? Some like familiarity like the Royal family and others like to jet off all over the world. People with houses abroad tend to use them - obviously. Or in the uk. Many might have done a gap year or travelled when young. They might even not want to be air miles Andy and trying to save the planet! I find travel interesting and fulfilling but others less so. We are not all the same.

Helenbelena · Today 22:58

And what does ‘class’ have to do with where you enjoy spending your holidays?

showmethegin · Today 22:59

I don’t see that class has anything to do with it really. People are creatures of habit, especially with holidays. People like familiarity, a feeling of comfort and ease and you get that if you go the same place more than once. I’d say my family is “middle class” although not upper and we adore Greece, it’s a place we had a house for about 20 years (sold now) but we’ve always just loved it there, the culture, landscapes, people etc; feels like a second home. I also travelled further flung in my younger days. I’m fully aware that there is an exciting world out there and we could choose to go elsewhere but we always end up back in Greece!

bookofbookies · Today 23:01

The Gap year was for travelling now they go with what’s easy

DiscoElysia · Today 23:02

Tabbytiger122 · Today 22:30

It's just a pattern I noticed. I hate returning to the same place twice..

There are some obvious points to make here, like the fact that people with lots of money have the same range of personalities and interests and life stages and needs as people without lots of money. Not everyone enjoys visiting lots of different plsces. Some people value familiarity over novelty. It depends on what they want from a holiday surely. It might also depend on what these people do in order to be wealthy - for example someone living off massive intergenerational wealth and with little stress in their life might have more time and energy to explore different experiences, whilst someone grafting hard in a stressful senior role or running a business might view any spare time as a chance to connect with family and friends in a nice and comfortable location.

I am curious though about what 'well-travelled' means to you. Travelling to lots of different places doesn't necessarily mean much in itself. It's possible to go to a different identiket resort in a different country every time you go abroad. That's just ticking countries off on a map.

I think the idea of being well-travelled to me has a sort of assumption behind it about what travelling should be for - that it's some sort of personal growth or learning experience related to engaging with different cultures and acquiring new knowledge and perspectives. It's an idea that I associate with a sort of class-based flex: 'ooh, xyz people might have money but they don't know how to spend it.' 'They might be rich but they don't really have sophistication.' It reminds me of how taking a 'Grand Tour' of Europe used to be seen as a right of passage for wealthy young British men, which in theory was probably meant to be about extending their education in history and languages as part of acquiring some idea of sophistication and respectability (although historically plenty of the young men in question seemed more interested in sexual shenanigans and piss-ups). In more recent times this was mirrored in the popularity of the gap year whereby young people (often middle class) went off to do jobs in other places that they would consider beneath them in their own backyard and to contribute to various charity projects and to conqueror various mountains or whatever. Again it often seemed to me like a flex about supposed adventurousness and worthiness and as something to distinguish CVs from those of others (although I'm sure many young people got a lot of significant things from it and that at least some of the charitable projects made a genuine difference).

I do think there is a lot of potential value in travelling widely in a spirit of curiosity and adventure. I don't think that travelling automatically confers any sort of superiority however. Many of the most fascinating people I've ever met have never had the money or ability or will to leave their home town for any extended period of time, let alone the country. (I recall a quote I liked up on the wall in a classroom when I was a kid at school: 'the true voyage of discovery consists not of finding new horizons but in finding new eyes', or something like that).

Of course if your point is just that if you had more money, you'd spend it differently to the wealthy people you know, that is fair enough, but a pretty bland observation. I would probably say the same thing about fancy technology and interior decor.

bookofbookies · Today 23:06

I’m not UMC but go to Cornwall & France a lot due to family holiday homes

Travelfairy · Today 23:10

We do a mix. We love to try new places such as Canada/Japan/South Africa but we do ski in the same place each year (same hotel even) and that also works well for us. They may have holiday homes or access to same.

Wadsworthy · Today 23:12

Don’t be daft. What a silly waste of your energy to monitor the travels of others. Envy, I suppose. Although you’ll deny it!