DD overdose. The system is broken? Any advice?

[BeethovenNinth]

I have posted about DD before. Broken by lockdown, anorexia age 12, school drop out, burn out, self harm extreme. We are five years in.

we have repeatedly been told she doesn’t qualify for help and have tried various therapists ourselves.

she is out of school and self learning. Very lonely. Seems ok recently ot so I thought.

due to intense sadness last night she took an overdose of aspirin. I suspect a cry for help and she phoned childline who got her to phone 111. (She didn’t think to wake any of us). I suspect A and E will just kick us out soon.

we are a loving family but this is a huge setback.

we are Edinburgh based, desperate desperate for the right help.

private psychiatrist? Do we suggest sertraline? Anyone in Scotland have any good suggestions?

thanks from a broken mother

Couldn’t agree more.

on the surface my daughter looks like she is playing normally but she only really maintains interest if it’s a topic she is invested in that the play is centred on. There’s nothing more that she loves than bringing something she is fixated on to her friends and having them take an interest in it too. But it gets too intense. If the friend wants to change subject she will try and direct it back to her thing quite frequently and I can see her friends losing interest . She will also often put the toy too close to the persons face or body etc. However the nice thing about it is that I’ve realised this is an ‘in’ with her. So often we might sit and look at unboxing videos of a toy she is interested in or talk about which of her toys I like the most which helps her feels like I’m enjoying her interest too and invested in it. I do actually enjoy some of it!

My daughter also struggled to join in with play but this was only noticed when I pointed it out to her school. She was very good at 1:1 interactions and still functions best that way but has told me that she ‘is a very good friend and people want to be her friend because she is kind and tells jokes’ 🤗

Again all of this could have gone unnoticed had I not worked in the field and so knew some things were unusual. She does have massive sensory issues as well which helped complete the picture.

Thanks all. I read all these posts with great interest. The world of the neurodivergent female seems so poorly investigated.

DD starts the therapy with our new clinic next week. One is for her eating and the other is someone who specialises in neurodivergence. So it’s a relief for me to feel we can hand this to people who (I hope!) know what they are doing.

DD and I had a day shopping last week - one week after her overdose. When she eats enough - she wanted to buy clothes - all her sensory issues about noise and lights vanish and she has good energy.

and yet she tells me her brain HAS to have an unhealthy obsession to function - she says she sees calories and counts them but can silence the voice when she wants. It reminds me of my mum who is very clever but has a brain that is always thinking. To an extent my whole family is like that but none of us is neurodiverse in a typical way. My elder sister had OCD about light switches etc but it’s burnt itself out as she aged. But I think OCD is a neurodivergence in itself

I hope to god the therapy helps. And we consider meds late autumn.

do others find this a lonely road? I swing between feeling bleak - I confided in my closest friend from uni who barely replied. This year I have pretty much lost two close friends who when I slightly confide just cannot fathom it all. People that I have been there. Other friends who I barely tell, seem to suspect and reach out and I find myself too ashamed and proud to confide. It’s like my entire world has pivoted and I see people differently.

I hope this makes me a better friend and person but I’m still in the weeds.

Constant overthinking is very much an ADHD trait. I know you said she definitely doesn't have this, but perhaps it would be useful to read more about how ADHD can present in girls. All my son's OCd traits vanished when starting ADHD meds.

Are there any parent carer type groups near you? Some carer centres offer grouos or even 1:1 sessions. You generally don't need a diagnosis. It can really help to chat to parents going through similar.

Hi OP

Im so glad you have some support underway.

Yes OCD can be standalone or part of another condition because different neurotypes often overlap.

currently reading a book called raising a sensory smart child which is fascinating and provides all kinds of interesting analysis and research around the cause of sensory issues (and makes clear autism isn’t necessarily the reason). I’ve attached a snippet. Maybe might be more evidence for using antidepressants.

As for friendships- it is so overwhelmingly lonely at times. I have lost one very good friend since my daughter became diagnosed as I tried to reach out to explain I was really struggling to cope with the issues she has etc. She didn’t show much interest/care and it kind of made it difficult to keep the friendship going as it is all encompassing for me sometimes.

Please know you aren’t alone though, there are lots of us out there feeling the same.

Image is under review but have attached an excerpt which describes how dopamine and serotonin levels cause sensory issues.