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AIBU?

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AIBU to stop cooking for my in-laws after their rude behaviour?

101 replies

ChefNoMore · 20/08/2026 19:14

AIBU to say I am not cooking for my in-laws anymore?

Lots of back story with in-laws being rude to me, but this really pissed me off, was the straw that broke the camels back.

We seem to always end up hosting everyone at our house for Easter, Christmas etc. Although not always on the main day because PIL usually get a better offer from her SiL or her own sister and her DH.

Last Sunday we had a lunch at our house. I’m not sure what the latest thing is that I’ve done, as no one will ever tell me, but my PIL and SIL all refused to eat anything I’d prepared. They brought a few dishes themselves, asked what my DH had made and stuck to that. You may think I’m being paranoid but I’m not. This is the kind of games they play.

Usually when MIL and FIL come alone they are happy to eat whatever with my FIL actually telling me that I’m a great cook.

I just found this really utterly rude and I am done. I put so much effort into cleaning the house, shopping, planning and cooking dishes (I made fresh bread, side dishes and 2 desserts) and they ate none of it. They even asked who made what.

My DH fully admits that his family like to play politics but I’ve had enough of being one of the main villains.

It’s nearly that time when Christmas is discussed and who is doing what and when. I’m just not doing it. I’m not having any of them over at all. If DH wants to see them he can go and meet them in a restaurant.

I’ve been so stupid putting up with this crap but I’m done.

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 22/08/2026 15:56

BootstrapTime · 22/08/2026 08:00

When your DH says he never notices it, etc. what he's doing is picking which problem seems easiest to manage. He believes it's easier to manage your disappointment than his family's reaction. If he's the least favourite child this is a hard topic for him, but you need to make it clear that you will become a much, much bigger problem if it continues. He's betting on you not rocking the boat as much as they will. This might be subconscious and not intentional, but you need to make him see the dynamic.
Then you never host again. If they come over it's a day of your choosing and he does all the work. One spiteful comment or mean behaviour and they're barred. If you don't want them over Christmas they don't come.

This!!! 100 Per cent!

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