AIBU to suggest poor public behaviour should affect access to services?

[Liggety]

Following many recent threads about what is and is not permissible in a decent society, can we agree on a list of actions that should exclude you from accessing state services?

To start with:

Using a phone on loudspeaker anywhere outwith your own home.
Wearing PJs outwith your own home.
Playing music - inside or outside - so loudly it can be heard by neighbours.
Cycling on the pavements (cycling is my main mode of transport btw).
Wearing balaclavas outwith the high mountains.
Riding an illegal e-scooter or e-bike.
Having an off-lead dog in public that is not under your full control.
Dropping litter.
Wearing scrunch bum leggings and other revolting clothing in public.
Swearing in public.
Driving without using your indicators.
Men without a top on in public.
Working cash in hand, or paying cash in hand for work done while knowing or suspecting tax may not be accounted for by the service provider.

Some of the above are more tongue in cheek than others by all indicate no grace, style or manners and we need to remove them from our culture.

What are you adding to the list?

Can I ask why you ‘reported’ this?

So when he was raping me and doing worse I should have been concerned with my grace, style and manners? I can assure you I didn’t give a fuck about any of that whilst I was trying to stay alive. And passing out. All I was thinking was about my kids and what a horrendous mess they’d have to navigate.

This sounds like a horrific, harrowing experience and obviously you were right to make a scene. I’m not talking about hushing up and maintaining decorum in horrendous situations to not make a scene. There are times when scenes ought very much to be made, and yours was clearly one of them.

But by your original logic she was wearing loungewear/pjs so already on your list, that’s the point that Taztoy is making.

@Taztoy I’m really sorry for what happened to you and I hope you’ve able to recover and find some peace after this awful event, nobody should have to go through that. 💐

Can’t you read…she literally said this was when she forgot her headphones…so that’s why 🤦‍♀️

I ran outside in my loungey pjamas. Screaming and making a lot of noise.

so that means no police help. No help from the nhs. No help from the council domestic violence people. No help from social workers. No counselling services. No help to patch up my physical injuries never mind the mental trauma.

lovely.

Yes but I can’t imagine she went out in them intentionally. She was merely trying to access services to help with her immense trauma in an urgent way.

Which is obviously fair enough.

Access services?

what the actual fuck.

do you honestly think I ran outside in pjs covered with blood with a broken nose and finger and covered in my own puke and having wet myself to “access services”?

Well, this thread is all shades of Hyacinth Bucket, isn’t it? I don’t like some of these, OP, others I don’t care about. It just feels like quite a mean-spirited, finger-wagging thing to do on a sunny afternoon. You’re dangerously close to growing into the old bat that everyone rolls their eyes at when they twitch their curtains and complain loudly to all and sundry about how standards are slipping in their area 😂

Perhaps you should add “governments cutting funding to the police so they don’t have the resources to address these issues” to your list….

Ohhh…this thread went sideways in a big way, between starting writing my response and publishing it.

I can assure you that she could have gone out in them intentionally, and why the actual fuck would that make a difference.

The distain you feel for someone in loungewear or PJs is shocking.

Yeah OP’s last couple are awful. Particularly skipping the bit about the rape and focussing on whether the poster had chosen to go out in loungewear - shocking

I was trying to find someone to save my fucking life.

I was not trying to access services to help with my trauma in an urgent way.

I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. I was trying to survive. That was it. I was trying to find anyone to help me and to get away.

access services to help with my immense trauma in an urgent way my arse.

What the fuck

OP didn't skip the rape - see the post at 16:10 when she clearly acknowledged the trauma.

You mean when she said I was allowed to run outside because I was accessing services to help with my immense trauma in an urgent way? Is that really what you’d say to someone who runs outside screaming for help having been raped and beaten and been subjected to attempted strangulation?

This didn’t happen…I wouldn’t worry about it. She didn’t call me out for anything, and also I would happily wear my PJs or loungewear wherever I felt like it, as would many other posters, I wear them for me and not for what other people think.

Taztoy I hope this thread isn’t causing you more upset, it is unfortunately just a nasty OP who gets her kicks from laughing at those she deems less worthy.

Thank you.