AIBU to discuss A level success without private school spending?

[Absorbthecost]

Parents/carers who have not spent a penny on Educating their children and they have just received great A level results.

The sacrifices made all the struggle,

I’m interested to discuss families where the child has succeeded without need for private school

https://www.gbnews.com/money/private-school-fees-soar-vat

https://www.ft.com/content/091b214d-231b-414a-8f3e-9ef9fc021926?syn-25a6b1a6=1

Those who did pay,

presumably to secure great results at A level

The same kids off to Uni, placements easier to secure as less international competition. Uni the playing field evens.

And now time to pay for Uni,

https://inews.co.uk/news/education/university-tuition-fees-11000-2030-4705197?srsltid=AfmBOorss52PSHD6xJzisWMdeNxcXDen3IrCGS49nnGH1ZyDnmvTOh_k

A child who did outstanding (without spending a penny) the same result as a family who spent £250k + The above article is a low estimation for a selective U.K. day/ boarding.

The kids holding the same result off to the same Uni, How are families feeling!?…. Did you save to help towards the Uni Fees/accomodation.

This comes up constantly and honestly just gets boring.

My kids are at private school and most of my friends have their kids at private school - I don’t believe that any of us made that choice because we think our kids will get better grades. In fact we’ve all had many conversations over the years about how smart, motivated kids will get good grades wherever they go.

So fundamentally you’re misunderstanding the reasons most kids are in private schools, and then asking us how we feel about an entirely imaginary situation!

Yes.

YANBU. Private schools have always been refuges for the intellectually mediocre.

They can in theory. We had to move one of our children to private as they were getting up on a daily basis and the school and police were powerless to do nothing about it.

the parents who really have ‘won the lottery’ are those who’s state school are able to provide a calm, safe environment for their children to learn in. So, so many children don’t have access to this basic need in the state system.

So why do you think all the wealthy international families have withdrawn from UK.

In the same way many private families look to state international families look to U.K. independents.

I’ve never met a 17-19 yr old who cared about other children’s schooling. The teen years are very self absorbed years.
IF uni is a destination of choice, congratulations to all who get in.

Reminds me of that tell me something that’s classy if you’re rich but trashy if your poor trend… like speaking multiple languages, getting tax breaks, having other people raise your kids!
DS’s friend speaks 4 languages fluently, did GSCEs in all 4 ( did 12 GCSEs) and will take 3 for A Level alongside 2 maths subjects… lives in a 2 bed flat with parents and 2 brothers. Both parents are Eastern European hospital workers… Bet the papers don’t line up to take a pic of him jumping with his results when he aces all 5 A level 😀

Private education doesn’t buy grades but it does buy the education suited to the child rather than one size fits all state education. My dc were state educated, adults now so no skin in the game, but I think the biggest driver for educational success is involved parents, and with that even the lower income kids can get good grades. There was a lovely story about a lad who is in foster care getting into Oxbridge with top grades, and he thanked his foster carers and children’s services for getting him to that point

Just look at the Royal family - show me any poor kid who got into St Andrews with the absolutely mediocre results of William.

Sigh...there are so many misconceptions about fee-paying schools, it's hard to know where to start with this. I have three children, all went through an amazing fee-paying school that I only wish was available for free to everyone. I didn't send them for the grades. My husband and I have always been very strong academically, and I figured that side of things would probably work out if we paid fees or they went to the local state school alternative. I sent them for the specialist teachers, the sports and music opportunities and for the extra support for my neurodivergent youngest. As was widely known among local parents, that school has teachers who are passionate about their jobs and regularly go the extra mile. After umpteen years at the school, I now believe they can do this - not because they are better teachers than in the school down the road - but because they are well-resourced, well-supported and able to be the best version of their teaching selves.

No outings details here, but I think I may actually owe my neurodivergent child's life to the support that school consistently gave us during a crisis. Every penny of the vast sum of money we have spent has been completely and utterly worth it.

Exam results? Oh they were great, but we never bother talking about that.

Use the money towards a house deposit, that will help them more

Wow, you have a serious problem... You forgot the sports coach...

Didn’t Charles go Oxford?

I worked in a great state school (non teaching) that did drama, sports, d of e, music the lot. Amazing teachers. Plenty students off to oxbridge/ med/vet etc.

I'm struggling to understand your point. I sent my children to private school because the state schools were awful. They also had some SEND and would have struggled in bigger classes. I was a teacher in the state system. What exam results they would get or not get wasn't part of my thinking. If you are saying that we are fools to pay for private education, well you are entitled to your opinion, but people make choices based on all sorts of circumstances that you aren't privy to. People can decide to spend their money as they wish.

We live in a rural area and the nearest comprehensive has a great reputation and is considered the best in the county. I noticed our local comprehensive outperformed the local independent at A-level.

Parents invested in private school, will never admit to it being a scam though.

I don't really get the vitriol - you think private schools are no better than stage, but you're still annoyed people are choosing to spend their money on it? Do you think we should also ramp up taxes on first class tickets to stop people wasting their money on the same destination?
You don't think it's value for money, others do. It's their money to spend how they want?

I am in the independent school trap

Word of the day……. SCAM.

That is exactly the reality.

Cambridge. With shit o levels and a B and C a levels… it’s almost as if it’s one rule for them and another for the rest of us 🤣
Or maybe Oxbridge are taking anyone these days with just 2 shit grade A Levels and I’ve missed something…

I’ve worked in state schools for years, would have loved to go private but ultimately couldn’t afford it. The results were not important to me, I just wanted my child in a less chaotic and smaller setting where the adults were not constantly stressed and had time to see my child for who they are. IMO shoving 30 children in a room together with limited resource and adult attention from age 4 is not ideal for development or wellbeing.

Children today are struggling more than ever with wellbeing/mental health and IMO they need less pressure and more time to slow down, play, and enjoy their childhood. Obviously not all private schools are able to offer that, but because they have more flexibility those that prioritise it can. I’m not worried about my child’s marks or academics as none of it even matters if their mental health is destroyed.

My children are happier in their state schools than I ever was in private. I was horribly bullied and had an awful experience.

If you are in the highly privileged position of being able to do both private school and house deposit for your children then you can choose to both and won't have to make that choice. Hugely unfair, but actually the reality for some.

Once you’re in the “Scam” your options are limited to escape.

When you see it, you can’t unsee it!

State here. Child with a ehcp ended up in special provision, only taken core subjects at GCSEs. I would have paid for private due to small classes but it would have had to be a Montessori type school not a we want to send our children to a top university. There is a huge difference. Eldest completely failed by the state system. Younger child in state secondary is thriving in a good school. I wouldn’t move dc for that reason. Never had an issue with bullying etc the school are on it with behaviour. My point is every child is different as is there experience it’s important to pick the school that supports their needs, private or not.

Private school doesn’t guarantee great results. What it guarantees is smaller classes and often access to great SEN provision. Plus access to a wide range of sports and other opportunities. My youngest daughter is dyslexic with processing issues. She would have sunk in a large state school hence choosing private for her. She will leave at 16 and go to a local college to do a T level. There are so many kids like her who are there not for an elite education, but just to survive the school system.