AIBU to discuss A level success without private school spending?

[Absorbthecost]

Parents/carers who have not spent a penny on Educating their children and they have just received great A level results.

The sacrifices made all the struggle,

I’m interested to discuss families where the child has succeeded without need for private school

https://www.gbnews.com/money/private-school-fees-soar-vat

https://www.ft.com/content/091b214d-231b-414a-8f3e-9ef9fc021926?syn-25a6b1a6=1

Those who did pay,

presumably to secure great results at A level

The same kids off to Uni, placements easier to secure as less international competition. Uni the playing field evens.

And now time to pay for Uni,

https://inews.co.uk/news/education/university-tuition-fees-11000-2030-4705197?srsltid=AfmBOorss52PSHD6xJzisWMdeNxcXDen3IrCGS49nnGH1ZyDnmvTOh_k

A child who did outstanding (without spending a penny) the same result as a family who spent £250k + The above article is a low estimation for a selective U.K. day/ boarding.

The kids holding the same result off to the same Uni, How are families feeling!?…. Did you save to help towards the Uni Fees/accomodation.

Ok I don’t think I can be bothered with this thread anymore, you are regretting your choices and making huge sweeping generalisations about thousands of other schools that you have no knowledge of, there’s just no point to this.

Check her update - OP is a private school parent - just pissed off her kid got shit results!

My child is 10 years old.

Thats why I’m so interested.

I have a long way to go!!!!

@Absorbthecost would you move your dc to state?

My DD was state educated and just got 3 A* and off to Cambridge. I do indeed feel very lucky @Absorbthecost. Mainly lucky that we had an excellent single sex Secondary school very local to us (moved pre DC so this wasn’t planned!)

many pay for the hopefully overall childhood experience and hope it leads to increased happiness and wellbeing.
It’s not about uni choice, program, spouse, house,career.

@Absorbthecost

Your posts are coming across as if you have a rather large chip on your shoulder and, for some reason, are trying to convince yourself that there is no benefit to private school. Crack on if it makes you feel better.

I don’t know anyone who is using the private system purely for grades. It’s about so much more than that. My children have had a lovely childhood, at schools which have recognised their individual personalities and exposed them to opportunities which they would never have got in the state system, both academically and for extra curricular activities. They’ve found what they love and where their strengths lie through being exposed to many opportunities. They have not been “spoon fed”. Quite the opposite. They are expected to manage their own workload and are held responsible for their actions. There are no parent apps detailing homework or sanctions, unlike many in the state system I’ve heard of.

Perhaps it’s different in other areas of the country, but the state and private schools in our wider locality are not even remotely comparable.

I say that as parents who managed straight As in the state system, excellent degrees and great careers afterwards.

I'm not sending my kids private because I want them to learn to fend for themselves, manage in a larger class, have to be @resourceful, independent and self motivated. My children are privileged enough, a bit of adversity will do them good and teach them the values of perseverance. I dont need school to provide excellent music & sport opportunities.

I might feel differently if they were less academically able, and private education was going to transform their grades.

Why is it a weird concept for a parent who committed to private school be questioning the huge financial commitment?

This is how private school families think!

Very telling.

We’ve all wasted our money.

Accept the reality

Others have done better for Free.

A lottery win? No, they are feeling like they earnt their spot through hard graft and staying motivated.

I doubt very much they are thinking they won this, or they got this for free when others had to pay to get the grades, or that they even giving the private school kids a second thought.

Do you have privately educated kids by any chance? You seeing these public school kids entering what you deem private school territory? These uni spots are high academics territory, no matter where they got their grades. You saying it is like a lottery win to the public school kids is offensive and patronising.

But away from what those hard working kids are thinking. An academically intelligent child will be that in any setting. You can't buy A level results. Undeniable that the path will be a lot smoother at private school though.

Edited to add, the public school kids off to uni to 'mingle' with the private school kids, don't think your kids are anything extra special or feel any sence of pride to be able to mingle and breath in the same air as them either. No 1 kid is more important or special than another, some are richer but not better

My 3 kids went to state school one got Dstar (btec A star equivalent )CD, and one got A starBB one got AAB, all got into their first choice university. My neighbour sent their child private and they got ABC (same ucas points as D*CD) and went through clearing.
Private school offer smaller classes, more accessible teachers for help and also offers networking possibilities but only if you are financially the same level as those you want to network with. If you are scrimping to send your child private then your child probably won’t be able to go on all the holidays/ ski trips etc rich families kids can, therefore the networking doesn’t work.
I also know someone who sent their child private just for A- levels, they did well but also did well at state school for GCSEs.

I would say that the private schools teach you how to pass exams and how to revise, which a lot of state schools don’t do. They also can access different exam boards.
As one of my state schools teaching colleagues once said- some kids no matter how hard they work will never get above a C because that is their level.
Having to add star because the astrisk is a bold editing feature apparently!

Yes. Many of his friends are we have a very full outstanding local. I can SEE the children’s development.

We moved house about 15 years ago to be closer to excellent state schools; it’s still paying for a better education to an extent isn’t it?

Great teachers are drawn to stay at schools which attract parents who are looking for good schools and then the parents do a huge part of the groundwork. Verbal skills, exposure to books, ideas, social variety, travel, prioritizing music and and cultural pursuits. These all combine to create a virtuous circle.

My kids had no mobile screens until they were at secondary school. They just had books, coloring books, games and toys. At the GP surgery or in waiting rooms or on planes or trains I read to them. They knew certain books off by heart before they could speak so they found them comforting. This meant they had thousands of books ingested before they were at secondary school & all that exposure to and love of stories and that imaginative work that they did is still in them. But now they are on their phones way too much - as are we.

So much is done outside the school. So much is done in prioritizing school in the home. Some kids really suit private school and some don’t. I have a friend whose three kids went to a highly regraded private school and one has done brilliantly and the other two have done ok. What they also all have is powerful networks in powerful places.

My ds went to state school and is now a teacher in a state school and is very happy as are we with his chosen career. He had great teachers at his school who noticed him and encouraged him. Great teachers are priceless.

For a lot of parents, grades aren't primary factor in choosing to go private.

My child goes to private school due to SEN, but I know others who made choice based on facilities (particularly for sports), networks, extra focus on well-being etc

If your child is 10 you have a very easy get out point coming up. If you dont feel you are getting value for money take advantage of that moment. You wont be alone.

I think uni admission is too narrow a lense.

The calculation I did was
State school = potentially lower grades and not such great experience and £150K (say) for a house deposit and a mother who worked part time so could be around after school

vs

Private school = potentially nicer experience and higher grades and maybe some connections made however saving to save for the house deposit themselves and wrap around childcare due to mother working full time

Our local comprehensive was of the "good enough" and not stellar variety. Do I think they could have got better grades and had a different (I am not sure about nicer) experience at private school? Definitely yes. Do I think their overall life is better for having a mother about more and money for a deposit ? Also yes. That's the point to weight up isn't it? Obviously if you are sufficiently wealthy that you can give your child all the things it's a different question.

I don't to assess the success of a school, a parent (including in relation to their school choices) or a young person based on grades achieved on exam results day. But I am happy for all teens who are happy with their exam results this week, it's a lovely milestone.

I’ve just seen this update. You are clearly at the wrong school. There are definitely some private schools which, in my opinion, are a total waste of money. It probably depends on the type of child and the school.

We spent a very long time researching the best schools for our children. We have no regrets with our choices.

We have seen no cutbacks (the post sport match teas for parents might not be quite as lavish, but that’s the only cutback I’ve seen which doesn’t bother me at all!).

If your school is making such drastic cutbacks and is glorified childcare, I’d be looking very carefully at the accounts to see if the school is viable in the long term. The great private schools are not struggling. They have long waiting lists and offer an excellent education and experience.

Which all face cut backs due to the schools financial mismanagement spanning the last decade.

My daughter got 9 A*'s and finished Uni with a first class honours degree.
She went to bog standard school.
Son was similar- both working in their chosen field.

Send your kid to a grammar school if they are bright enough. Free and some of the best have results consistently beating even most top independent schools.

It doesn't matter anymore whether a child gets solid A-levels via a high performing comp, a grammar, or independent school. These are all 1990s/2000s questions relating to the route taken to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow:- being a graduate which automatically secured you a lucrative career. The graduate landscape has moved - and that pot of gold has gone.

What matters now is whether they are having to balance study time with the stress of part time jobs so that they can support themselves to minimise the massive long term student debt burden they will emerge with, or whether they can have a care free time at university exploring themselves while studying in their chosen field, secure in the knowledge that the will be fed, sheltered, and will have spending money in their pocket at any given moment.

What matters is whether they will emerge with a £60-100k debt, and will then be faced with GMT programs competing with 3000 other graduates for a handful of places for a £35k position, or whether they will be emerging into an internship at a senior leader's office (friend of family/classmate) which supercharges their career.

What matters is when they land a job at a top global firm and are offered an unpaid internship for the initial 12 months, whether they are having to push themselves to exhaustion burning the candle at both ends moonlighting waiting tables and cleaning to financially survive during that period and living in low cost housing a long commute from the office, or whether they are walking in from a flat that their parents bought for them in central London with a healthy living allowance, with the headspace to be energetically focused on the role.

Getting A's at A-level is only part of the way there in 2026. It's the differing circumstance and class preservation in the ten years following graduation that is most impactful.

Just like state schools, not all private schools are the same.

It sounds as though you have picked a shit one @Absorbthecost

If your child is 10yrs old, you’re unhappy with the school requests and don’t see the value 7+ years down the line; pull out.
Really your child will pick up on your doubts.
within the UK there’s a huge variety of schooling options from tiny state primaries to massive secondaries. Inner city to rural.
in many ways you can pick your poison.