What would you think if another woman said this to you?

[tempincase]

i have name changed for this, but have been around forever I promise.

Anyway, speaking to a female friend, moaning to her that DH sulks for upto 2 days if I say no to sex (have had a previous thread on this so don’t need to address it here). Her response was “well, it is your job”….

AIBU to think that this is one of the most ridiculous and saddest things to say, or is she right? For full disclosure me and DH have sex around 2-3 times a week regularly.

I have never shared the details of my intimacy with another person to open up their comments. I would laugh, though, because I don't take offense at what other people think or say. I'm a hard old bird, really.

I’d be more bothered about the sulking.

Ew. I feel sorry for your friend if that’s how she views sex and relationships.

it’s your job?!?!?! To ‘service’ your husband?! Which century was she born in? Disgusting and outdated

No. You have sex as part of a loving relationship. It is not a woman's job to sensually please her husband regardless of how she is feeling. Sounds a very old fashioned or religious based thought process

I’d just assume she was joking.

I’m not trying to be goady but is she single? Because single friends assume those of us that aren’t are so lucky we have it on tap in a loving relationship while those of us who are married are exhausted and saying we probably need to do it more but …

I’m more shocked that your DH sulks for TWO DAYS if he’s denied sex.

WTF? That’s rancid behaviour.

Surely the problem here is that you're with an arsehole of a man that sulks when you say no to sex. What a charmer

Awful thing to say and think but it’s also awful for men to sulk when they don’t get sex. I couldn’t be with a man like that.

I'd think she was being sarcastic

Hopefully she was being sarcastic and you missed it. Otherwise I feel very sorry for her and wonder what her relationships have been like. Equally I wonder the same for you and feel desperately sorry for you being with someone who sulks for days when you say no to sex.

I’d ignore her, but be worried about the sulking.

Ive learned that if you don’t want someone picking over your business don’t tell them.

Both of you have spectacularly warped attitudes to sex.

Or, as others have suggested, sarcasm.

She must be a pretty close friend surely so her attitude can’t come as a surprise? Is she married herself?

Your friend is the least of your problems

she is married, and she unfortunately wasn’t joking. Me and ‘D’H are currently in therapy for that issue along with others. I was wrong to discuss it with her, absolutely, was probably looking for a bit of sympathy tbh. She is a reasonably close friend, I was shocked she said it.

The environment and attitudes that your husband grew up in/around that make him feel he’s entitled to sex (thus allowed to sulk because you’re depriving him) will make women /girls think that sex is their job/duty.

“well, it is your job”

She thinks you're a prostitute?

Presumably she was joking ?
id be more worried about you though putting up with sulking that’s grim

Your job?!! Fuck off, in that case, he can't afford me.

Appalling attitude from her, horrific attitude from your Dh. My fanny would clamp shut with a resounding clang if he sulked because I didn’t want sex. Is it always resolved by you giving in and having sex given you have it 2/3 times a week?

I’d think she’d been trained to think that sex is her responsibility as a wife. I’d then inform her that it’s not my job because I’m not a sex worker.

Have you told him that acting like a wet lettuce makes you want to shag him even less?