Double ear piercing at age 11

[daisyfallout]

My daughter is about to start secondary school and had her transition days this week.

One of the girls in her new class has double ear piercings, and, irrationally, it rubbed me the wrong way. I can't even quite explain why! My brain seems to file it somewhere closer to a tattoo than a standard ear piercing, even though I know that's not really logical.

My daughter had her ears pierced earlier this year after I finally surrendered, and I have double piercings myself. So it's not as though I have particularly puritanical views.

And of course, my daughter has now spotted this girl and immediately launched the campaign for a second piercing before September. I fear the siege may be a long one, and history suggests the defenders rarely win.

AIBU to think that a double ear piercing is a bit too much at age 11? Or am I actually a latent pearl clutcher?

Will she be allowed to wear both pairs of earrings at school? I know our secondary school doesn’t allow it, they’re allowed one pair of plain studs only.

Latent pearl clutcher I'm afraid. Why on earth is one hole in an ear different from two?

I'm quite the pearl clutcher usually but couldn't get bothered about this.

You admit you're not being entirely logical here. You've got double piercings and presumably the school doesn't have an issue with double piercings so it's a bit arbitrary to decide that single piercings are ok but doubles aren't.

I honestly have no idea. She's the first 10-11-year-old I've personally seen with double ear piercings. But the fact that schools have policies on it suggests it's common enough that I'm probably the one who's been living under a rock.

At what age would it be acceptable to have 2 holes in your ear lobes instead of 1?

Latent pearl clutcher I'm afraid. Like you say it's not completely logical as you've got yours done. Maybe see how you feel about it in a couple of months. Obviously your decision currently. Although I think in a couple of years most piercing studios will do seconds without parental permission from around age 13.

My DDs school only allow one pair at a time to be worn though and state in lobes only.
My DD now 13 (just finished year 8). Had her tragus done in year 7 and just hid it with her long hair. Looks awesome. Belly button was done Xmas last year. On any pics when she is out with friends every single one of the large group has their belly buttons done.

Seconds and Daith are probably going to be at some point this year.

locally piercings certainly seem to be a big thing, I don't mind them. My only lines are no facial ones (with exception of a nose piercing way down the line).

I genuinely don't have a good answer to that. In my culture, it's completely normal for girls to have their ears pierced as babies, sometimes even in the hospital after birth before they go home.

But if I imagine that same newborn with double piercings, it suddenly feels wrong. A reception aged child with double piercings also feels wrong. Yet by about 16, it doesn't register with me at all.

So clearly, in my head there's some invisible, entirely arbitrary age threshold somewhere in between. The problem is I have absolutely no idea where it is or why my brain put it there. Maybe it should be the age when the child is mature enough to understand the process, risks, permanency etc. and I cannot accept my daughter is already there.

I got my second holes done on my dinner break age 12 and that was 30 years ago.
My mother noticed about 3 years later 🤐

I think you’re way too upset about it a decision that doesn’t bother you. Really if single ear lobe piercings are considered socially acceptable for a preteen then another set along side isn’t really that different.
If you have different rules for your child that’s your choice but you’re being irrational and over the top.

My 11yo has a double. Piercings are pretty fashionable these days where I live and I have cartilage piercings myself. I personally don’t see the harm as they can always be removed, and she’s old enough to look after them properly healing wise so as far as I’m concerned, it’s all good.

that said I went mental when my mum painted her toenails at 3, it just made me feel super gross and icky. We are all different!

I couldn’t find the energy to care about this if my daughter already had her ear pierced why would one more above it matter but I’m quite chill about those things tbh

My niece is 10 and she wants her seconds done. I really can’t see the issue with lobes

I think it’s odd to be bothered over two piercings when you’re fine with one (and especially on babies who have no choice and will be left with a permanent hole in their ear whether they want it or not!).

I had three piercings in each ear at school in the 90s, so I don’t think it’s a new thing at all.

I wouldnt cave til next summer holidays. She's only recently had the first set, wanting seconds now seems a bit of a whim. Id make her consider it for a while first.

It’s unlikely school will allow 2 so just use that as a reason to wait until next summer holidays.
And be prepared for the belly button the year after that!

I took my 13yo to have her thirds done at the beginning of the holidays. She wants a whole curated ear when she’s older. I have no issue with it at all and I don’t have any ear piercings.

She’s not allowed anything further though until she finishes school as her secondary doesn’t even allow one set of earrings so she wears flat clear ones during the school day and swaps them at evenings/weekends which she wouldn’t be able to do with any other piercing.

I think second lobe piercings at 11 are fine. Cartilage, an entirely different matter.

It’s all contextual I guess. I find babies with pierced ears horrific

Maybe it should be the age when the child is mature enough to understand the process, risks, permanency etc

Yet you think it's fine to pierce a babies ears?

Ear piercing holes are discreet and can pretty much close up if you change your mind.

I think you should focus on your own dc and not worry about what others do. You don't have to allow extra piercings just because classmates have them.

For me, I can see much difference between one and two piercings.

IMO it’s much much worse to piece a baby’s ears than for a 10/11 year old to have 2.
But then I allow my 14year old to pierce her nose so I may not be your target audience

Wait til you meet a group of 11 year olds comparing their belly button and tongue piercings. Not uncommon, where I work, for these to be done in the summer before high school.

I don't actually think it's fine to pierce babies. I was saying I'm culturally desensitised to single ear piercings because, where I'm from, girls often have them done as babies.

My own daughter didn't have hers done until she was, for want of a better term, Gillick competent in my opinion enough to understand what she was asking for and what it involved, which was 10 years 4 months.