To think this shows poor follow-through before a first date?

[ThisOliveTurtle]

I met a man through a mutual friend at her event. We got on well and later started messaging.

Last weekend he asked when I’d next be in London. I told him I’d be in London this Saturday (tomorrow) late afternoon because I already had appointments there. He then suggested three different areas and asked which I’d prefer. He said if I had no preference he could figure something out. I replied that I was happy with any of them and would leave it to him to decide. He then replied saying he’d “work something out.”

Since then, I haven’t contacted him again because he’d said he’d organise it.
It’s now late Friday evening and I still haven’t heard anything. As things stand, we have no confirmed time or place for tomorrow.

AIBU to think this is poor follow-through? I don’t think someone has to organise everything days in advance, but if you say you’ll work something out, I’d expect to hear back before the day you’re meant to meet.

I'd assume he's gone off the boil and has other plans. You'd know if he was keen as he'd keep chatting. Make other plans.

If someone gives you a choice of 3 you pick one.

Ring him or text and ask?
He has a life too.
Gosh adults that ca use a phone to call?.

Tbh I wouldn’t bother replying if he finally got in contact at this late stage. I don’t do last minute arrangements. It suggests weak interest.

Sorry, but I would make other plans.

You wouldn’t want this in a relationship/ long term…so why endure it now? With great luck he has shown you his effort level and communication skills…absolutely rubbish. Definite pass

… so he’s just messaged me asking me if I’m still good to meet later this evening
Obviously this is late

He gave her 3 options and she essentially rejected them all.

I wouldn't be surprised if he thought OP wasn't interested.

She could have called him - sounds princessy to me to want to have everything done for you, and if I were a man I'd be thinking "don't want a life pandering to her"

I don't think he's done anything wrong. Its not late, you'd already said you were meeting him. This is just the details

Check the update and kindly stop projecting and making assumptions. I didn’t “reject” anything.

I don’t get this.

As far as I can see, you had an arrangement, to meet early evening in London, and you left the details to him.

Now, he is trying to confirm the details. Not sure what is wrong with that. It is how I make arrangements with most of my friends.

Do you think it should be different because it is a first date (or any date)?

I’m not really sure what the issue is? He’s given you options, he’s now sorting it out on his own. You’re already going to be in London anyway. He’s asked if you’re still ok to meet him as you haven’t contacted him all week. I assume you’ll just text back to say yes, would love to meet and he’ll then text back with a time and location. Isn’t this how people usually arrange things?

Jesus I wouldn’t date some of you… hard work or what ? 🥴 Seems like the OP was not that interested in meeting in any case. All this apparent testing.

It’s not late. The date was confirmed along with a rough time and location (London after your appointments). The date is in the diary but I think the morning of meeting is fine to confirm exact timings and locations.

I am meeting a friend today. Last week when I saw her we agreed to meet again today to go for a walk at around lunchtime but not an exact plan, we haven’t been in contact all week but this morning she messaged and we agreed an exact time and location to meet. Both of us knew it was happening so the exact details weren’t hugely relevant.

You haven’t been in contact with him either and if you are somebody who wants to know exact plans further in advance you could have reached out to ask. If you needed an exact plan you could also have made a decision between the 3 options he suggested instead of leaving it all to him. You’ve made it seem like you’re relaxed and happy to go with the flow so it’s unsurprising he hasn’t expected you to need him to be running everything by you.

another one who’s not sure what he’s done wrong
he offered options, you said any will do
he said he’d sort it
youve not contacted him but are unhappy he’s not contacted you
now he’s sorting it out, in line with your plans and timetable and that’s not good enough

Don't go, and let him find someone less hard work.

Can see why you'd be hesitant about this but it's not a firm indication of anything amiss. He has followed up. Give him a go.

Tend to agree with the others. There was a vague plan made and was just a matter of firming up the details. Only you know how you feel about things I suppose. I would go and see how you get on but keep an open mind otherwise what's the point, if it bothers you that much, just say no thanks and move on.

“princessy” to want a man to organise a date he said he would organise 😂😂

Pull you standards up from the gutter, woman!

You didn’t sound very interested when you vaguely told him any of the 3 was fine, and left it up to him to organise.

He’s now contacted you with plenty of time before you’re due to meet. If you expect him to be in constant contact you need to give him something to work with.

You’ve been quite nonchalant about it so far, which is sensible if you’ve never met. This is not the time for tests and hoops to jump through.

You can start laying traps for him and testing how into you he is once you’re dating if that’s what does it for you. At this stage you’re just meeting to see if you want to date. I’m all for having boundaries but you seem like you’d be hard work tbh.

Gosh you sound like hard work. So you made him pick three and give a choice , you gave no suggestions, then left it to him to pick the one, then left it to him to confirm with you, you didn’t confirm with him. And apparently he’s the issue?

He then suggested three different areas and asked which I’d prefer. He said if I had no preference he could figure something out. I replied that I was happy with any of them and would leave it to him to decide.

You might not see this as rejecting, but if I put three options in front of someone I'd expect them to express some kind of preference (even if "Option B my favourite but all are good", not just throw it back at me to pick the wrong one.

But you seem to be more concerned that he got back to you later, yet not so concerned that you would call him. That feels to me like you want to be passive.

Alright calm down, relationships should be equal from the get go, this he has to pick types of place, he has to pick the place, he has to reach out and confirm to her, she just does nothing isn’t princess I agree, it’s just dull as fuck.

Patronisingly accusing people who’s views differ from yours of having low standards is pretty shitty, but par for the course on here

He gave you 3 choices. Pick one. I hate ditherers who just throw the choice back at you.