To think this shows poor follow-through before a first date?

[ThisOliveTurtle]

I met a man through a mutual friend at her event. We got on well and later started messaging.

Last weekend he asked when I’d next be in London. I told him I’d be in London this Saturday (tomorrow) late afternoon because I already had appointments there. He then suggested three different areas and asked which I’d prefer. He said if I had no preference he could figure something out. I replied that I was happy with any of them and would leave it to him to decide. He then replied saying he’d “work something out.”

Since then, I haven’t contacted him again because he’d said he’d organise it.
It’s now late Friday evening and I still haven’t heard anything. As things stand, we have no confirmed time or place for tomorrow.

AIBU to think this is poor follow-through? I don’t think someone has to organise everything days in advance, but if you say you’ll work something out, I’d expect to hear back before the day you’re meant to meet.

Yeah I agree with you on this. I see a lot of it, have a different opinion and you get attacked. I think there is a lot of unhappy people on here who use the site to belittle, attack and bully

I do find it annoying when I come up with three options that I think are suitable, and the other person can’t be bothered to express a preference.

Tbh I would assume that someone that just said “whatever” when given three options wasn’t really that interested. If I was being generous I’d think maybe they were super busy if they couldn’t even be bothered to have an opinion at all.

He’s messaged in plenty time today so really don’t see the issue at all.

It doesn’t sound like you want to go on a date with him tbh. More like you’re trying to set him up for failure and now are looking on MN for permission to not go through with it.

If you are a person who likes a plan, you should have made a decision when he offered 3 locations.

Not just for your own benefit but because if someone's made the effort to suggest three things that you might both enjoy, it's not a big ask that you express a preference.

If someone suggested three areas to me and I was keen I might be saying something like, "ooh, my favourite wine bar is in A" or "ahh, I've heard great things about the sushi in B" or even "not keen on C I had my purse nicked there last year".

You know, the basics of conversation.

But it's also polite to give a few indirect pointers as to your expectations - schmancy dinner venue, relaxed drinks, somewhere to go out dancing?

He's shooting blind here, AND he's got three areas to consider options for. My husband would have been anxiously cross checking the reviews of the top five everything in each one!

People have different expectations for timings on things but that doesn't mean they aren't interested. I know that if I went and relayed this thread to my DH he wouldn't understand any issue, he would see no problem with what the guy has done by messaging this morning and would suggest it isn't anything to do with a lack of interest. I am someone who likes things organised well in advance and to know what I am doing, DH is much more relaxed. This guy not messaging until this morning does not necessarily show a lack of interest or priority, he probably just isn't one of those people who needs things fully organised.

Go on the date tonight and see what happens.

People who wait until the day to make arrangements stress me out. I would wave this one goodbye!

You do get it’s 2026 right and she can text him?

Did you read the OPs post ...choices is an incorrect interpretation

Did any of the angry people read:

"He said if I had no preference he could figure something out"

So OP was lovely any said she was OK with any...then....NOTHING

Ffs - this!

In the words of Jim Morrison - people are strange...

Op just go and enjoy it.
I agree with others that he made some effort to give three places to meet and you made it harder for him by not chatting about it as pp said .

You are inserting yourself into the facts

OP didnt reject anything ..in fact she accepted ALL options

He was being polite he has already figured out three places !!

When he said:

"if I had no preference he could figure something out"

Peculiar for someone to reply any is good with me...being a problem. 🔴🚩

It is polite to say any is fine ..you decide...unless you are bringing issues before things even start

If he's not showing any interest at this stage I certainly wouldnt bother.
Ive wasted time on men like this before running about and organising everything. It never ends well.
I expect decisive action from a man.

I hope you told him you were busy?

You're not instant coffee, so you're not instantly available.🙂

You sound higher maintenance than him. Maybe you’re just not compatible. Not sure why you need to know the exact plan the day before when you’ve already established you’re netting each other. But I guess if you need to know that stuff for some reason and he’s more easy going then he’s not someone you’d enjoy dating.

Move on, but there’s no point trying to blame him.

I've read this story before, are you the "author"?

That’s flattering but no. I like to read books rather than write them

You are so the same person. I remember all your bullshit posts from last year.

You do seem to making it harder than it needs to be OP. He txt this morning asking if you are still free. Answer yes or no. It’s not hard. Learn to go with the flow a little.