Am I being too pushy with daughters swimming?

[RarePearlTiger]

My daughter is 4 almost 5 and has done swimming lessons since she turned 2, she did waterbabies and then moved to leisure centre lessons at 4. For anyone familiar with the lessons she’s just moved up to stage 4 and has got her 25 metres certificate at the weekend

While I was at work earlier in the week my husband mentioned her swimming, and my MIL made a comment about how kids should be kids and not pushed into ‘competing’. FIL agreed and said it’s unnecessary and every child gets there in the end, there’s no need for such pushy lessons

She does a lesson once a week and I probably take her once every 2 weeks on an evening, sometimes every week. She enjoys swimming, she’s not pushed into anything but swimming lessons for me are not negotiable.

It’s just made me feel like shit but I’m probably being over sensitive

No but if her daughter enjoys it there’s every need to keep going to improve her skills. 25 metres is easily enough to keep her safe in water

Yeah I’d let that one wash over your head!

However ….. if your DD genuinely loves swimming it’s worthwhile looking at local clubs and what age they take kids from and their learn to swim programme and their progression of lessons through academy to squad.

Mu ds absolutely loved his 1 lesson a week at that age and decided to join a club when he was a bit older.

He still trains 9 times a week at 21!!! Swimming is a huge passion for him.

Learning to be a competent swimmer for life saving skills purposes and competing are two wildly different things

if she was competing she would be up at 5 am daily. You’re just sending her to normal swimming lessons

i actually tell my kids swimming lessons until stage 5/6 are part of compulsory education and I’d get fined if they miss them

She’s done brilliantly swimming 25m at age 4

Your kid is doing really well. My 5yo is just at about 10 metres and I thought she was doing well. My 9yo is dyspraxic and has really struggled: currently at about 20’metrws.

its a life skill: 25 metres makes her safe if she fell into water or soemthing, but if she enjoyed it I’d keep her going all the way through primary to get much stronger and more competent

Sounds like shes doing well.

Just make sure she knows all the safety rules as well. Its easy to think you are safe as you can swim a bit.

Keep going, she's the perfect age to gain confidence in the water and there's no reason not to give her the opportunity whilst she's happy to swim. I'm not seeing anything remotely competitive in what you're currently doing.

My parents for some reason never thought swimming lessons were important, we never got into a pool until primary school compulsory lessons. I found out later in life that I have hypermobility, so low impact exercise like swimming is great for helping me maintain fitness and strength. I find myself in my 40s, discovering that becoming proficient in swimming will be beneficial in staying healthy as I age.

what you’re doing is totally normal, responsible parenting. What your DD is doing is pretty exceptional though, isn’t it? I don’t remember any 4 yr olds doing that well.

So if your ILs think she’s been pushed to attain that level, I could see their worry. But clearly she hasn’t, she’s just doing really well! Maybe you need to reassure them that she’s just joining in with lessons, not being hot housed or anything. And that she’s doing so well because it’s a talent rather than hours of practice

Kids need to be able to swim competently

It's hugely important

You are not being unreasonable at all. Being a strong swimmer can save your life. I always told my son that he could quit any other club/activity but I wanted him to do swimming lessons until he was a competent, strong swimmer. He’s 15 now and a better swimmer than most adults. I was a trained swimmer as a child too and I’m so grateful my parents did that for me. My son stopped lessons a few years ago when he reached the final level, but we go swimming together about once a month now just to maintain technique. We spend time at the beach on holiday every year and it brings me peace of mind to know he’s a strong swimmer (it’s not a guarantee of safety at sea but definitely hugely beneficial). It’s also great full-body exercise and because it’s low impact you can usually do it into old age so having a good swim technique is a life-long benefit. I cannot think of a single reason not to continue to ensure your child learns to swim strongly.

Maybe get them to read the news over the last couple of months on the number of water related deaths!

Most kids love swimming, it’s great exercise and a non negotiable life saving skill as far as I’m concerned. The fact they get certificates and badges just makes it more fun for the kids.

Swimming is good but no it cant save your life i dont understand why it is so hard for people to understand even 'strong swimmers' can drown

They’ve either misheard something and under the impression your child is a competitive swimmer or they’re not very bright and don’t realise there is a difference between swimming lessons and swimming races.

Don’t stop

It’s an amazing skill to have , and besides the whole life saving thing , when she’s older and invited to pool parties where they have all that mad floating equipment she will be able to confidently take part and enjoy herself

I dropped the ball with my youngest and ended up paying privately to teach her aged 12 - she can now swim confidently but god I wish I had done it earlier

Most people don’t realise how big a gap there is between swimming lessons and club racing, it’s quite evident when they do trials at our club.

100% keep going with the lessons, especially if she enjoys them. I am a Cubs Leader and find it terrifying that the 8 year olds coming up can’t swim 50m. This means that they’re not allowed to do any kayaking/sailing etc in scouts, unless they have 1:1 supervision, which we can’t facilitate, so we don’t let them on the water. Very sad.