Am I being too pushy with daughters swimming?

[RarePearlTiger]

My daughter is 4 almost 5 and has done swimming lessons since she turned 2, she did waterbabies and then moved to leisure centre lessons at 4. For anyone familiar with the lessons she’s just moved up to stage 4 and has got her 25 metres certificate at the weekend

While I was at work earlier in the week my husband mentioned her swimming, and my MIL made a comment about how kids should be kids and not pushed into ‘competing’. FIL agreed and said it’s unnecessary and every child gets there in the end, there’s no need for such pushy lessons

She does a lesson once a week and I probably take her once every 2 weeks on an evening, sometimes every week. She enjoys swimming, she’s not pushed into anything but swimming lessons for me are not negotiable.

It’s just made me feel like shit but I’m probably being over sensitive

But she is not competing? She is not in the squad, you are not getting up at 5am.

The only possible conclusion is that they must have been talking about someone else because it clearly wasn't you 🤷‍♀️ so you can just ignore them.

if it was aimed at you then it sounds like they're a bit thick to think progressing through swimming levels is a competition so you don't need to worry about their opinions anyway.

A tragic number of children die by drowning.

Let her keep the swimming lessons.

Your kid, your choice. And having your kids learn to swim is a great thing!

@Thunderdcc exactly. I wondered if they don’t understand lessons are purely for her to learn for her own safety, not to be bigger and better than anyone else 🤷🏼‍♀️

Totally this......especially as she enjoys it!

All my mum friends insisted on swim lessons to a competent level. Even the mums who didn't push kids into anything.

She's doing fabulously well for someone so young but as you say it's a non negotiable life skill.

Keep going and hopefully she'll keep enjoying it.

My two water babies are now lifeguards and swim teachers earning double their friends in minimum wage jobs elsewhere.

It isn't a competition. It is a life skill. A hugely important one for safety. I told DD she could pick and choose any other hobby, never needed to compete if she didn't want to and could stop any of them if she wasn't enjoying it any more. Except swimming because of the safety aspect. As for the certificate, kids love being motivated by a certificate. Absolutely not a problem.

Oh my word please take no notice of your MIL! Sounds like dh was just humouring her.

Stage 4 at age 4 is really good. My ds is 7.5 and just moving up to stage 6 and I thought he was doing quite well! Your dd sounds great. I’d be super proud in your shoes, not trying to hold her back because MIL has some quaint notion that it’s “not the done thing” to be successful.

Honestly just keep doing what you’re doing. At some point you might be asked is your dd wants to join a swim development squad but it won’t be until she gets through the other stages.

If MIL mentions it again? I’d just do the tinkly laugh and say, “oh don’t be silly MiL she’s only four, we haven’t got her signed up to GB national squad!” And under the table silently raise a middle finger at her.

I swam competitively and definitely went to many more sessions a week. I could swim early too and what a blessing it has been. I am sure your in-laws never got near to my level and can’t now dive in the fast lane (looking let’s face it pale and fat) and lap the alpha young guns who are training for their triathlon. They have the pretty muscles but I identify as half fish and love it! Your daughter sounds like she is doing brilliantly and deserves a grandparent that says well done!

Yanbu - what your dd does is perfectly normal! Every child I know does a weekly swimming lesson. If you were up at 5am every day getting her to do drills then maybe your mil would have a point.

Oh love - it’s about them, not you. They didn’t do this with their own children, and are justifying to themselves why not. Doing swim stages in early primary school is an excellent thing to do for all sorts of reasons. And 25m at 5 is great! Go Mini-Tiger!

Do they still get badges to sew onto their towel?

Or is that a thing of the past?

Thank you so much for taking on the swimming pool alphas 😄! I wish you were at my local pool!

So did you tell them it was learning swimming skills and not competing? Simple misunderstanding, simple solution.

I actually said to my husband are they jealous because you couldn’t swim this well?? (He actually still can’t)

I was at work, but they know she has weekly ‘lessons’ not sure what else I can say? The certificate obviously made them believe she was competing which is pretty funny

They do

Well done for giving your DD a life skill which will hopefully give her pleasure for decades to come. No right minded person would criticise you for that.

Agreed, we did waterbabies from 1.5 and she's continued first with the swim programme and now more locally. Once a week lesson with occasional practice unless on holiday. Current ambition: mermaid. (But I don't think could swim 25m of a recognisable stroke yet, well done to your daughter!)

i don't think swimming twice a week is being "pushy" .Its great exercise and a good life skill.
My kids were competitive swimmers so i do understand that can lead to "pushy".

They voiced an opinion you don't agree with. You weren't even there. DH could have just kept it to himself. I really wouldn't worry about what they think. You're doing what's right for your child and other people's opinions aren't important.

Teaching kids to swim is such an important life skill - especially if it also develops a love of water. I swam up to my mid teens and in my 40’s did a cross Channel relay swim. I took both DC to weekly swimming lessons for years. DS (16) is now a qualified lifeguard and both he and DD (14) are certified scuba divers. Being confident in the water has opened up so many brilliant experiences and opportunities for all of us. Your DD sounds like she enjoys it - no reason to stop her enjoying an activity because your in laws have a bit of a warped view!

I generally agree with your mother in law with pushing young children to do loads of clubs and activities, but I think swimming is very different. I think every child should be taught to swim at an early age - it’s an essential life skill.

Enough for it to be a life skill, no need to have more necessarily.