Moody part-time DP and his right to his “chilled days”

[Klokhet]

Just had a really shite argument and I wanna know if I’m in the wrong 😭

My DP (well I’ll hold the “d” for now) is a part time supply teacher, as in he picks up shifts when he wants to. I’d say he does on average 3 days a week. Obviously doesn’t work the half terms, Christmas, Easter or summer holidays.

I work full time. I have 27(ish) days annual leave. Obviously it’s not DPs fault I don’t have a lot of holidays but there we are.

He’s been off for last week and obviously this week. He did spend one day “tidying the house” (read, putting a wash on, and doing the dishes), but the rest he’s done what he wanted.

Work is a stressful environment at the minute, and I’ve told him so many times I want to leave, that I’m burnout, that I’m struggling. This morning I woke up 10 minutes before I had to leave the house. Work is non stop from the moment I get there.

I’ve just booked us a holiday for next week and I’m really looking forward to it, needed the rest. Booked it this morning on the way into work.

I get home tonight and the house is a tip - PlayStation on in the lounge, dishes everywhere, laundry bin overflowing… and a DP curled in bed fast asleep.

I admittedly was a bit off with him and asked why he hadn’t done anything around the house. He said “it’s my holidays” and “I needed to rest”. I told him I needed more support as I was running on absolute empty.

Then DP jumps up from bed, starts ranting and raving saying it’s holiday, he cleaned last week blah blah blah… and when I said there’s no need to shout, he said “I do what the fuck I want”. Followed by “I’m just evil aren’t I, I’m the bad guy”.

He did some performative cleaning, slamming things down. Told me to go and put the clothes he’d just folded up away and then went back to bed.

I’m sitting in the lounge and he’s continued to come in and out (slamming the door behind him) to get about 3 drinks in an hour 🙄

Aibu to expect a tidy house and maybe even, shock horror, a meal prepared whilst I’ve been out at work for 10 hours, and he’s just been chilling? Or is it his time to relax?

Do you have children together?

I'm a stay at home wife and I'd be thoroughly ashamed of myself to not be pulling my weight at home. You're supposed to be a team.

He is one lazy arse. Not a chance would I stay with him.

He sounds like a total waste of space.

I think you know the answer to this one OP

It's the school hols so it's his 'holiday'- but its a 'holiday from work'. It's not a holiday from life, house work, washing, cooking, life admin, responsibilities. Those things don't stop just cause you are 'on holiday' from work.

Lazy cunt- tell him I said so! How many of the 11 h since you were last in the house does he need to recover from working 3 days a week?

Go part time OP. I can’t believe you had to book the holiday too.

It sounds like he got angry because he knows you’re right and he’s annoyed you called him out

is he contributing equally financially? Is he contributing anything!!!

Please say you've got no kids

15% of readers think you're unreasonable. I wonder if they're men.....

He certainly needs to clear up after himself and do more of the donkey work. Does he pull his weight financially too? Can you afford for a cleaner to come of your joint account.... I can't see him improving tbh.

Girl you know what you need to do
What a useless man

Sounds like she has one already ……

Tell me you haven't got dc together? Or is he working pt looking after the kids? Thst would be more understandable...

We all want to know what his reason is for only working part-time, OP. If there isn't one, end it now.

I never say ltb but... I don't think I could put up with this, personally. Would be a deal breaker for me.

“I do what the fuck I want”. Followed by “I’m just evil aren’t I, I’m the bad guy”

That's a red flag right there. You need to get away from this man OP.

That would be The End for me. Final Words "We are Finished".

Why is he only working PT? Do you own or rent? Do you have DC?

Another completely pointless man.

Do you own the house?

Looks like you've got yourself a cocklodger. LTB.

Yanbu. You should both have equal leisure time.

He's always "on holiday" by the sounds of it. Living like a student and being subsidised by you. Get out!

Lazy bastard. I’d find that unbearably unattractive. He behaves like a selfish adolescent and strops at you like his mum. Gross. You’re not married, get rid.

Usually I’d stand up for teachers but he’s a cheeky fucker!! I work 5 days a week in a school (support staff but pulled from pillar to post) and commute 8 hours a week. I’m currently off while DH is working and I am doing any and all housework, all meals and tidying up afterwards!

Sidebar - How do you manage to get ready in 10 minutes?

The man is useless and I never encourage women to carry deadweight. Dump him.