Moody part-time DP and his right to his “chilled days”

[Klokhet]

Just had a really shite argument and I wanna know if I’m in the wrong 😭

My DP (well I’ll hold the “d” for now) is a part time supply teacher, as in he picks up shifts when he wants to. I’d say he does on average 3 days a week. Obviously doesn’t work the half terms, Christmas, Easter or summer holidays.

I work full time. I have 27(ish) days annual leave. Obviously it’s not DPs fault I don’t have a lot of holidays but there we are.

He’s been off for last week and obviously this week. He did spend one day “tidying the house” (read, putting a wash on, and doing the dishes), but the rest he’s done what he wanted.

Work is a stressful environment at the minute, and I’ve told him so many times I want to leave, that I’m burnout, that I’m struggling. This morning I woke up 10 minutes before I had to leave the house. Work is non stop from the moment I get there.

I’ve just booked us a holiday for next week and I’m really looking forward to it, needed the rest. Booked it this morning on the way into work.

I get home tonight and the house is a tip - PlayStation on in the lounge, dishes everywhere, laundry bin overflowing… and a DP curled in bed fast asleep.

I admittedly was a bit off with him and asked why he hadn’t done anything around the house. He said “it’s my holidays” and “I needed to rest”. I told him I needed more support as I was running on absolute empty.

Then DP jumps up from bed, starts ranting and raving saying it’s holiday, he cleaned last week blah blah blah… and when I said there’s no need to shout, he said “I do what the fuck I want”. Followed by “I’m just evil aren’t I, I’m the bad guy”.

He did some performative cleaning, slamming things down. Told me to go and put the clothes he’d just folded up away and then went back to bed.

I’m sitting in the lounge and he’s continued to come in and out (slamming the door behind him) to get about 3 drinks in an hour 🙄

Aibu to expect a tidy house and maybe even, shock horror, a meal prepared whilst I’ve been out at work for 10 hours, and he’s just been chilling? Or is it his time to relax?

My job is term-time only so I'm not "working" for 6 weeks. Well, when I say not working, I am looking after my 6 yo ft. Basically doing what SAHMs do but with my child at home 24/7, even though she is school-age!
I think tbh working is easier than trying to get everything done plus trying to amuse a young child every day!! I also do what housework I can in the day, shop for food (with the little one objecting half of the time), and all of the life admin. I never really get a break and am also peri - exhausted is not the word!!
If I didn't have kids I'd be certainly having a more relaxed 6 weeks, but the house would be looking absolutely pristine!!

I read the waking up just before you had to leave as accidental and an examples of the effects of the burnout from working too hard, shouldering too many demands and not getting enough rest.

The times it's happened to me when I've been struggling, I've had to leave before I was properly presentable, forgot things I needed for work, had to force myself to slow down on the road, still arrived later than I needed to and unprepared for the day. In short, it puts me on the back foot and though I'd be wishing for a holiday, or at least a coffee, I wouldn't have time.

100% cocklodger OP.

You know what you need to do. He WONT CHANGE. They say they will but never do.

He should be supportive of you, not leaving a mess everywhere- he just sounds lazy

Swearing, slamming doors, only works part time, doesn't pick up after himself. Do not marry or ever have children with this man.

Get rid op.

And make tne trip a solo one.
Hopefully you don't own a home together..