To not understand why anyone would buy these for a child (tech related)

[Gheesesndbuscuits]

I don’t understand why anyone would get their child an iPad or tablet. Especially under ten and while a toddler even!

I know this sounds like I think I’m superior having not done it, but however I asked the question it would have come across like that. I’m far from a perfect parent and rely on the tv far too much for childcare when I’m making dinner or need to drink my tea in peace.

But iPads and tablets I don’t get, they’re so interactive and addictive. I genuinely can’t understand why you’d get one for a child. Especially when there’s tv that is more passive (though I accept not good either!).

It’s my pet peeve as a parent and educator honestly. I wish I knew the reasoning for it being so common so I could shake people out of it.

There is never any need to encourage kids to be on screens imo.

Because the school has been setting their homework on an app since reception. Hope that helps

YANBU but you’ll be told you are. And I say that as someone who did give in and give my DD an iPad at 9.

The problem is that unless everyone makes a stand, the older your children get the more socially isolated they become if they don’t have access to an iPad/phone. There’s no ‘knock for me’ culture anymore so friendships are maintained through FaceTime calls. It’s sad, but the reality.

toddlers and iPads though is a no go for me - I work in education and trying to keep 5 years olds on task now when they are so used to swiping up if they don’t find something interesting is a real challenge!

@IDontDrinkTea really?! What if you don’t own an iPad though? Presumably you can do it on your phone with them or laptop then switch it off?

Also, do all schools use apps for homework now?!

I think they are an absolute menace but in answer to your question, desperation.

@BlackBean2023 this is an interesting perspective, I hadn’t really considered the social side. At age ten though are they connecting via these things? It seems to strange to me as I’m sure at 10 I used to just go home then not see anyone or talk to anyone (friends wise) until the next day!

@upsincehalffive 🤣😅 yes, I certainly can’t say I won’t end up getting one.. this morning had already been testing!

Before iPads it was TV. Believe or not, when I was a kid I was told off for reading too much.
It’s about balance and structure. My kids were dyslexic and games with written instructions helped them learn to read. We had limits in place. Variety of activities available.

It’s not the tool, it’s the active parenting.

Surely it depends how the iPad or tablet is being used? Kids use computers at school from year 1, being literate with technology is a skill kids need. There are huge educational resources available online, it’s not just hyper YouTubers shouting about stuff. And having audiobooks or iPlayer to hand for long car/train journeys is a godsend.

If you genuinely can’t understand it, then you probably haven’t given it enough thought.

My children don’t have devices so we have just never done homework set on an app, and I’ve told the teacher why. There’s never been any comeback.

OP - my kids did/do not have tablets either. I also can’t understand why any parent does this. IME though you tend to get absolutely pulled to bits for this view by the parents who DID buy tablets and whose kids are now stuck to them, just to warn you!

Im also not a perfect parent and my kids also watch tv. But tv is totally different. You can’t doom scroll and it’s not interactive.

It’s actually so common to see social media posts with significant life events (eg weddings and I saw a beautiful photo of a stillborn baby whose family had come to meet and say goodbye) with small children on their iPads. Like yes I can see if you’re on a flight or somewhere like a nice restaurant where you may want your child to watch a film or something, but to be unable to attend anything without an iPad in your hand is so so sad.

They are addictive and I guess the reason is ease. It’s easier to take a tablet with you than it is a TV so when you need your child to be quiet a tablet is easier than engaging with colouring pens or books etc at a young age. Then it’s peer pressure too as everyone else has one. It’s seen as normal. And the schools often do use them (our high schools give them out now). So it’s unavoidable for some… but still scary and shows in the general decline of children’s ability to concentrate, to comprehend written language and to entertain themselves without devices.

@SuperSugarHigh how is a toddler learning from that though?

I went YABU despite being deeply anti personal screens for kids. But to say you don't understand shows a lack of imagination, curiosity and knowledge of current trends.

School homework apps. Busy, hectic parents looking for an easy minute of quiet. Access to information and things that would have previously been books. Peer pressure. Social norms.

You can argue those aren't good reasons. But they are reasons and not obscure ones.

There’s no ‘knock for me’ culture anymore so friendships are maintained through FaceTime calls. It’s sad, but the reality.

This was never a universal culture, anyway. Would you be happy with your children roaming the streets these days? Mine never were!

We don't have one because we have a family laptop but a lot of my DCs homework is screen based - even in primary school.
I think non i-pad tablets tend to be cheaper than laptops?

We have a cheap one that dd (7) is allowed to use for travelling or homework (20mins per week on a maths game app). She gets travel sick so can't read in the car/on planes etc and as we have to take quite a lot of long journeys I'm happy with this limited approach.

I do agree that there is way too much reliance on them, some parents seem to use them as babysitters. I absolutely can't stand the way some allow the volume on in public, really bad manners.

We have one family iPad. When the DC were under ten, it was used to FaceTime grandparents and other relatives in other countries, and for watching shows on flights and also on holiday when there is no English language TV. No YouTube. They also both have kids kindles which are brilliant because you take stacks of books in one light device and download more while you are away (just added three more Big Nate books to DS8’s last night, while in Spain).

I actually disagree with you. My children don’t watch tv unless it’s a weekend and even then they get 30 mins. They all do own their own tablets, which they can use instead of TV time and is largely relegated to when we travel- but don’t get used in cars or during mealtimes etc. it’s not about the device itself but what you put on there and when they use them.

We have one in the house- but I’m firm that it belongs to me and they can borrow it for learning games/ travelling on a plane etc.

I think they have their uses, but must be regulated.

COVID, home schooling

In the area we live, yes I absolutely would be happier for my ten year old to go and knock for her friends and ride around on her bike than to sit inside on FaceTime.

most TVs are smart anyway so can get YouTube and whatever else on TV too

It’s like a piece of technology: it depends how you use it. I can plonk my dc in front of the tv and leave them to it or I can sit with them and watch the tv together and talk about what’s happening: two different experiences. The iPad can be used in the same way. As a parent it’s how we manage the technology for the child that’s important. It’s the same as any aspect of parenting, you set boundaries and model the behaviour you expect.
It’s all academic for me as my dc are in their twenties. We took colouring and books when we went out to restaurants etc, but I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t acknowledge that there were times when I plonked then in front of the tv and left them to it as I needed a break.

Times Tables Rockstars competition from school. Homework from coding club. Deolingo to go alongside his Spanish lessons (although this has now fallen off). Messaging app set up so he can call his cousin or grandparents (only)

Screen time doesn't have to be worst case- its possible to keep controls on it. We have a restricted youtube portal of pre approved channels and a one hours a day limit which times them out.

Surely it depends on how they allow their child to use it?

We bought our 8 year old an IPad. She uses it for homework that has been set on an app, watching tv on long journeys, a couple of games, some educational apps (e.g. she writes music on one app or does coding on another) and FaceTiming family members (you can set it to allow calls only to certain numbers.) I don’t want her using my or DH’s laptops as we use ours for work.

She is not allowed to use it for anything else or without a parent in the room and she is only allowed to use it for a set amount of time. At all other times it is kept in my locked filing cabinet in my home office.

Children are growing up in a world of tech and it will be what they use for education and work for the rest of their lives. Safe, properly limited, access to things like computers and learning how to use them properly is fine, in my view, given that they will need them in their future.