To not understand why anyone would buy these for a child (tech related)

[Gheesesndbuscuits]

I don’t understand why anyone would get their child an iPad or tablet. Especially under ten and while a toddler even!

I know this sounds like I think I’m superior having not done it, but however I asked the question it would have come across like that. I’m far from a perfect parent and rely on the tv far too much for childcare when I’m making dinner or need to drink my tea in peace.

But iPads and tablets I don’t get, they’re so interactive and addictive. I genuinely can’t understand why you’d get one for a child. Especially when there’s tv that is more passive (though I accept not good either!).

We aren't TV watchers. I'm my DD's childcare. I've never put the TV/radio on for background noise. We all tend to find a series to watch. So my GC were bought Ipads. The youngest, at 3 probably wouldn't have got one, but she was a lock down toddler. The elder one was six and as said, homework went online. Poor parenting is just that. You can have a balance. You can control what they have access to on a IPad. Why did you allow TV? How is a toddler learning anything from that?

Bit late to the party OP. Not very original.

@Ponoka7 tv used for childcare when I’m cooking or want a few mins peace (I explained this in my OP)

I got them for travel and long drives. Family live far and we’d often to visit them. I was quite strict about screens. No screens at all on school nights. Films and gaming on weekends and holidays after 3pm.
mine couldn’t self regulate so I had to have these rules.
mine also had games for car journeys. They couldn’t have tablets straight away.
Generally, yanbu. If you do have them, they should definitely be limited.

@Gheesesndbuscuitslearning from what? My daughter absolutely learnt from things like Numberblocks and Alphablocks from a very young age (suppose it depends what you mean by toddler). Audiobooks are great for expanding vocabulary, and hearing a range of stories being read with expression etc. We now have Twinkl on her iPad to look through resources for the summer holidays together.

I also had a great discussion with her recently about online advertising. She saw an ad for some crappy fake air con unit, and there was then a BBC news article about them. We discussed how things on the internet can be made up, or outright lies, and why that might be.

I’m not saying a toddler needs an iPad for 10 hours a day, but I think a blanket “I don’t understand” is massively missing the variance of how these things can be used.

YABU and I don’t really understand this “screens are inherently bad” mentality.

our 8 year old has a kindle fire. It’s set up so we have to approve everything that she puts on it. The thing she plays most is probably Minecraft which I believe she a honestly good for kids. Teaches them creativity and problem solving.

Our school sets HW on an iPad from year 1 … by year 3 the children are given school iPads to carry to and from school.

I would prefer them not to have app based HW as I’m not convinced about the quality of learning through these apps due to the gamification of learning and the dopamine children receive as a result.

Unfortunately, saying that when we were children life wasn’t like this / didn’t talk to friends etc doesn’t work as life is now almost unrecognisable vs when I was a child (1980s).

I try and ensure that my children have a varied week, are fit and healthy, eat a balanced diet and read. A little bit of iPad use during the week isn’t going to undo this.

We travel quite a lot and an iPad can be a blessing when driving for 12-16 hours! It provides a little bit of downtime for everyone in the car 😂

I won’t give my children my phone to use as they are tech literate and my phone doesn’t have the relevant safeguards on it - because it’s my phone. Their iPads are as safe as we can make them!

Children are growing up in a tech saturated world and removing all tech from their lives won’t necessarily benefit them. I think parents need to upskill themselves to ensure they can keep their children safe as the risks don’t come just from your own house - my child has been on numerous play dates where iPads have been used or Roblox (a hard no for us) has been available … I am trying to equip my chidlren with the knowledge of how to keep themselves safe outside of the home too.

So much to think about and it’s ever changing! Although I really do wish that schools would just revert to using some worksheets 🤪🤪

Just to play devils advocate creativity and problem solving develop through play, being outside, doing crafts, colouring in etc. in a more child friendly way that doesn’t cause reliance on tech.

I agree and I’m a parent who gave their children a Kindle around 9/10 mainly for Minecraft type games … in theory I think they can be useful for some things and fun with strict time limits.

But… few parents really get a grip on managing their child’s time on them even if they start off with the best of intentions. It’s incredibly difficult to close the door once you’ve opened it. But then I’d also be in favour of banning smart phones for u16s not just social media. It’s the phone itself that’s designed to be incredibly addictive. Neither of my teens are on SM but they still spend too much time of their phones and it’s another added stress for parents to manage. And many don’t.

Of course it was a universal culture. Luckily my GC live in areas were children can still play out. My middle DD is 31 this year, it was still the norm to knock for your friends in the 2000s. How old is your eldest?

Socialising online was the only way kids could maintain friendships during covid. And once the genie is out of the bottle, it is very hard to put back.

Mine were in primary in 2020, no phones no tech. By 2021 both used screens daily to communicate with friends and do their schoolwork. Now they're teenagers and the secondary school (who set all homework via an app) have announced a phone ban. 🙄

I don't think it was universal. I lived in a really safe area in the 90's and my parents and those of my friends didn't allow us just to knock for each other until we were teens. I think maybe some are just more protective. I'm the same with dd, but it doesn't mean I've resorted to heavy tablet use.

Learning isn't a one size fits all. I said earlier, it's about balance. You aren't going to be able to force a eight year old to colour in and do crafts.

As a toddler we had a tablet anyway that we put stuff on for holidays and long drives. Then some games, songs etc. Can’t say it was essential or a significant part of her life, but it was there. When a bit older , we’d play games together on it mystery/puzzle games with a story and challenges. Watched certain youtubers together ; crafts, tarantulas, snakes and some gaming ones- discovered some great games to play together and had enough craft supplies and ideas to stock a small Hobby Craft. Then she was about 8/9 and lockdown hit. Yes there was a lot of facetiming and online interaction/playing together . All work was online. We had two bouts of 1 week online school(duration of school hours and the timetable but at home online) . It definitely came in handy then mainly for the social side, whether it was a good or a bad thing, I don’t know. After that it was a bit tricky to put the genie back in the bottle and her primary school never came back from online homework/apps. I think it was around that time (lockdown)when we bought her her own, new ipad so I guess I fit the “bought it for an 8 yo category”.

Why would you think, not playing out results in heavy tablet use? The OP uses the TV, for some of us, it isn't the norm to put the TV on. I suppose it depends on the proximity of your friends. Children now can often be the only child in the street. But more children played out than sat in, in the focus group, white working class, that MN love to criticise. There's always a classist element to these threads.

OP how old are your children?

I did not have a tablet when mine were toddlers and I’m glad I didn’t. I have never allowed them in restaurants. However, mine have made very good use of them in the following scenarios;

1. hospitals.
2. plane journeys with airport delays.
3. sitting around waiting for siblings during activities.

My 9 year old got given an iPad for year 5. She manages her work over google classroom, can catch up on lessons and it’s made her massively more organised.

Tech has a place. It can be overused obviously and some parents are lazy.

You shouldn’t be having to force any 8 year old into colouring in and doing crafts, that’s what 8 year olds do!

I agree with balance but to me that is very much education only and not entertainment.

Yep. Ed shed and rock stars so spelling and maths

Mumsnet is this alternative world where no one gives their child a tablet. Complete ‘I am better than all the plebs’ nonsense.

My kids have them since toddlers and are well rounded, perfectly fine and adjusted kids. So there.

My dc are adults now.

but even when they were young there were sites for kids like club penguin that had games and allowed you to contact others on the site.

lots of their friends were on the sitex

we also bought them handhold Nintendo DS each - largely for holidays and long journeys from the age of 8.

these days primary schools set homework on computer.

You can do it on a parents phone, or you can discuss with the school who will loan you a device.

I’d rather they had their own devices because I can safeguard them. There’s plenty of things I wouldn’t want them to see on my phone, but their iPads are locked down to include screen time limits and a ban on anything I deem unsuitable.

I also don’t own a telly and I don’t understand why some people think that’s a morally superior form of screen. At least a tablet is interactive, and as long as you download the right apps it can be educational. Staring mindlessly at Peppa Pig doesn’t seem any better to me - and I don’t want to pay for a tv license

Mine both have them. I can see both sides as I agree they are very addictive and it drives me mad sometimes when they are sat on them for long periods. It does become the default where they go on tablet instead of doing something else. I take them away from them. For the summer holidays for example I have been very clear that they won't be sat on tablets all day. I am not sure if they do any actual harm though. My youngest is actually excelling at school in all areas so it hasn't done any harm to her development, perhaps even improved it with reading etc.

There is a tendency to romanticise the past and you always see it on threads like this.

The past wasn’t bathed in sunlight when children played independently and ran between houses as SAHMs laughed fondly and kept a casual eye in between the washing up and folding the laundry.

I was born in 1980, and quite a number of my classmates were knocked down in the roads, one fatally. Trying to avoid predatory men was a challenge for any child but especially girls. You didn’t get told much about it - just vague references to ‘funny men’ but the onus was always on you to avoid the ‘funny men.’ Even the playing with friends wasn’t all idyllic and quickly turned to a bit of a Lord of the flies scenario with the bigger ones bullying the weaker ones.

We absolutely have other problems in our society now and I do think screens are a big one. But it’s pointless pretending that before screens there weren’t problems, big problems. There were.

Sadly we are all just realising that as much as the internet in the begining was great ...its now gone way behind this . There is so much pressure on parents from DC to have these things , lockdown didnt help as kids only communicated on their phones .My DD lives in a little village and all the school mums stick together and refuse to give the DC phones , which is great , my other DC live in a big town and all have tablets phones ect from young age .. it seems we have started something we are now dont know how to stop . Im glad my young gc still enjoy playing outside ect when their elder siblings are stuck on their phones ....

You are being very hypocritical if you are ok for children to be on a laptop, but its the "ipad" that is your issue.

then switch it off? you know you can switch off an ipad too?

Presumably you can do it on your phone
who in their right mind would teach kids it's ok to do homework on a phone?